


Our magic island / 우리의 매직 아일랜드

by delugyufortxt



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate universe - TXT goes to Hogwarts, Angst, Classic "haven't seen my best friend (Soobin) for a while and now he's suddenly handsome", F/M, Fluff, Hopelessly romantic and cliche, Long read sorry I can't write short chapters, M/M, Yeonjun is a flirt but we all know that is actually true, but you'll love it, i had "angst-ish" as a tag before but apparently that doesn't qualify so:
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-02-24 16:33:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 45,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22001002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delugyufortxt/pseuds/delugyufortxt
Summary: "I am reunited with my childhood best friend Soobin when I transfer to Hogwarts School of Magic in my fifth year. I haven't seen him for so long, and I am stunned to see how much he has changed. Luckily, our friendship hasn't changed at all after all these years. Or so I think...A handsome, fox-like boy makes matters even more complicated, while I try to survive the year in an always hectic Hogwarts. It's a tug of war on my heart, and I have no idea who I should choose."Soobin and Yeonjun both try to win over your heart.Black or white?Picking a colour might be harder than it seems.
Relationships: Choi Soobin/You, Choi Yeonjun/You, Huening Kai/Kang Taehyun
Comments: 50
Kudos: 100





	1. Waiting for you at platform 9 ¾ / 9와 4분의 3 승강장에서 너를 기다려

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [This Magic Hour](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21287672) by [godtyun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/godtyun/pseuds/godtyun). 



> Hello! And welcome to my story >3<  
> This is my first AU/fanfic here on AO3  
> I hope you'll like it <3
> 
> I did not write this work from a "You" perspective, but it is meant as a "Y/N" kind of setting; the you-perspective doesn't really fit my style. So I wrote it from an "I" perspective; I never mention a name for the main character, so I hope this works just as well ^.<
> 
> Lastly: my Korean is very very basic, but I like to work with it a little bit! I will indicate when they talk Korean (or it will be clear from the story), but the main story language is still English. I will not display words like noona and hyung in Hangul, because they're so common, but words like 안녕 or 대박 I will because I find it cringy if it is written romanised. Will provide translations if necessary!
> 
> Enjoy! ^.^

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's my first time going to Hogwarts, to which I transferred from Beauxbatons - in the middle of my school career. I'm all alone, looking for Soobin, who was my best friend back in Korea, because he is waiting for me at platform 9 3/4. How am I supposed to find him when I haven't seen him in seven years?"
> 
> Guess who got really handsome after all this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Welcome to my story!  
> I will try to post a chapter weekly; will post the second chapter in three days.  
> Enjoy!
> 
> Translations(/Romanisations):
> 
> 안녕 - Hello  
> 대박 - Daebak
> 
> ~

I have always hated the first day at a new school. Why? Because I had too many of them already. Unfortunately, today is again such a day. The familiar feelings of insecurity and anxiety make me feel small, just like when I was little and my dad held my hand when we walked to the gate of yet another new school. The feeling is even worse today because my dad can’t walk me to the gate this time. In fact, he is not even walking me to the platform; I just have to see how to get there myself. I look at the ticket again and let out a deep sigh. You just know it’s magical when your ticket says you have to be at platform “9 ¾”. Just a moment ago my parents dropped me off at Kings Cross station, both smiling at me half-heartedly; I could see in their eyes that their minds were already back at their jobs. “I’m sure you’ll like Hogwarts, sweetie” my mom said. “I had a great time there myself, I just know you will love our common room!” Apparently she already “just knew” I would follow in her footsteps and be put in the Hufflepuff house too. “I’m sorry we can’t come with you to the train, but you won’t be alone, honey,” my dad said when he gave me a hug. “Soobin will be waiting for you at platform 9 ¾.” Right, Soobin, my best friend from back when we lived in South Korea for some time. A guy I haven’t seen in seven years will pick me up from the platform. How am I supposed to find him when I can’t even clearly remember his face? Whenever I try to think of what he looked like, for some reason images of bunnies keep popping up in my head. That will be really helpful… My anxiety slowly worsens as I return to the moment and start pushing my trolley towards the station.

My mom tried to explain to me which barrier I apparently need to run through to get to 9 ¾, but I think her memory must have gotten worse after all these years because when I try to put my hand through the one she described, all I can feel is cold brick stones. Great, now what, try out all the barriers on the platform? I am starting to feel lost already, and it must show as I repeatedly tap the stone arc trying to find a way through, because suddenly a boy approaches me and asks: “Are you by any chance looking for platform 9 ¾?” He smiles at me shyly. He has a very sweet appearance: he has almond-shaped, brown eyes, his nose is a little pointy (in a cute way) and his hair has a slight curly wave in it. He is also very tall for his age, since I presume he is a few years younger than me because of his boyish looks. A bit baffled I stare at him, and his face changes into slight panic, like he realises he made a big mistake by asking a muggle about platform 9 ¾. But before he can open his mouth again I stutter: “Y-yes, I am looking for 9 ¾. Could you show me where it is?” He seems relieved as he smiles and says: “But of course, follow me!”

A few moments later I find myself on platform 9 ¾ together with the sweet boy. I thank him and he says with a cute smile: “You’re welcome.” He opens his mouth to say more, but is distracted by a women in the distance yelling: “Hueningkai! What took you so long?” He blushes and says to me: “Ah, that’s my mom. Sorry, I’ve got to go. See you around!” I wave him goodbye and wonder about his strange name. Never met someone called Hueningkai before. I’ve successfully taken one hurdle by getting to the platform, but now I have to try to find Soobin. Somewhere. In this massive crowd. I look around for boys with an Asian appearance, and I do notice some. A bit further away, a cute boy with huge, innocent, round eyes hugs his parents goodbye; but he is clearly in Ravenclaw house, and I know Soobin is a Hufflepuff. Closer to me, an attractive boy with grey hair (must be dyed) chats cheerily with his friends as they get on the train, bouncing around as if he just can’t contain his excitement, but the group wears red and gold colours, so again the wrong house. I let out a deep sigh and feel like I should just give up and step on the train, when someone taps me carefully on the shoulder and says: “Excuse me?” I turn around and have to look up to meet the eyes of the boy now standing in front of me. His black, straight hair is parted in the middle and partly falls over his very dark, almost black eyes. He has a cute nose that slightly scrunches because he is smiling at me sheepishly now, and two dimples pop up at his cheeks. Those dimples… Wait a minute. Then he mentions my name and asks if that is, by any chance, me. I am stunned when I realise that it is indeed Soobin who is standing in front of me. Looking at his face, I suddenly understand where all the bunny thoughts came from. But damn, he has gotten tall. And he looks so mature. And he is quite good-looking, actually. Wait, what am I thinking? I snap out of it and force a smile. “Yes, that’s me,” I manage to say, and then I don’t know what to do. Shake his hand? Or give him a hug? Soobin’s smile grows even brighter, his eyes are sparkling. “Ah I just knew it! So nice to see you again, it has been so long,” he says, and then he gives me a warm hug, which brings back a lot of memories. We make some small talk as Soobin, like a real gentleman, carries my luggage onto the train. I follow him to one of the cabins to sit with him and his friends, and I am surprised to see the doe-eyed Ravenclaw and the grey-haired Gryffindor waiting for us. My mom always made it sound like people from different Houses didn’t really get along... “Hyung, who is this fair maiden you brought along?” the handsome Gryffindor asks Soobin in Korean when he gets up. “Hi, how are you? I am Beomgyu,” he says charmingly in English when he shakes my hand. His hand is very soft, and he holds mine delicately, like I’m some precious flower. “안녕, I am fair maiden,” I answer in Korean, and then we all laugh at Beomgyu’s shocked face. “You-you can speak Korean?” he stutters, his air of coolness leaving the room. “I still can, though it has been a while, so it’s a little rusty,” I answer him, and then I proceed to greet the Ravenclaw, who introduces himself as Taehyun. “Soobin-hyung never told us you were this pretty,” he says with a cheeky smile, making me blush heavily. “Back off Taehyun, give her some slack on her first day,” Soobin immediately defends me. As soon as we sit down, the train starts to move towards Hogwarts. “I was just wondering, how come it is your first day?” Beomgyu asks me. “You don’t seem eleven to me,” he continues as he looks at me from head to toe, making me feel just a tad uncomfortable. I shake my head and sigh. “No, I am starting in the fifth year actually.” “Oh 대박, you’re our noona!” Beomgyu smiles. “She is even my noona, now I think of it,” Soobin ponders. “I guess so. I transferred here from Beauxbatons, and before that one from Mahoutokoro. My dad switches jobs a lot.” “Oh that sucks, having to start at new schools so many times…” Taehyun looks at me pitifully; I just nod my head in silence. “You’ll be fine, I’ll help you around, noona,” Soobin tries to cheer me up as he pats my head. “Are you already convinced she’ll end up in your house, hyung? She seems more like a Gryffindor to me,” Beomgyu chimes in. “I can show you around our common room if you like, noona,” he says with a smirk as he winks at me. Soobins friends sure are flirty, I wonder as I once again feel my cheeks become red. “Her mom was a Hufflepuff too, I just know she will join me,” Soobin says confidently and then he smiles at me warmly, which makes my heart flutter just a little. I am totally not used to getting all this attention; this is going to be a long train ride…


	2. I got a crown on my head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Just like all the other students at Hogwarts, I have to be sorted into a House; unfortunately for me, this means I am the only fifth-year student standing in the middle of the great hall, surrounded by a flock of tiny first-years. Of course, the entire school stares and whispers. Suddenly I notice a handsome, fox-like boy staring right at me, his eyes full of curiosity, probably wondering (just like everyone else) what the hell I am doing here... I can't wait for this to be over, and join Soobin at the Hufflepuff table." 
> 
> Of course, no Sorting Ceremony ever goes as expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, I am posting this three days after the first chapter. Will post weekly from now on! (Probably every Wednesday, but might change in the future). Hope you enjoy it! 
> 
> Translations:
> 
> 고마워 - Thank you (informal)
> 
> ~

I feel like a complete idiot, standing in the middle of the Great Hall, surrounded by tiny, eleven year-old first-year students, while waiting to be sorted in one of the Houses. After entering the hall together with Soobin, Beomgyu and Taehyun (we had so much fun during our train ride to Hogwarts, I was almost sad it ended), the others all went to sit at their respective House's table, while I was called by one of the professors to join the first-years for the Sorting Ceremony. I can just feel all the eyes staring at me, and the whispers had started ever since we entered the hall. I anxiously look over to the Hufflepuff table for support, and when I see Soobin he gives me a thumbs up as encouragement. I can’t wait to get this over with and join him. Then I notice Hueningkai, sitting just a bit further up at the same table, who waves at me with an endearing smile. Gosh, he is so adorable, I think as I smile back at him. I look around to see if I can find the others I have met so far. Beomgyu doesn’t notice me because he is enthusiastically talking to his friends about something, apparently a bit too loud because one of the older Gryffindor students slaps his head and tells him to be quiet. Taehyun’s big, dreamy eyes are staring at the enchanted ceiling, his mouth slightly opened, obviously lost in his own world. When my eyes hover over the Slytherin table, I notice a boy staring right at me, his handsome face full of curiosity, probably, like the rest of the hall, wondering why on earth I am standing here together with the first-years. He has Asian features too, like Soobin and the others, and somehow reminds me of a fox, with his bright, intelligent eyes. I am stunned by his beauty, so I’m not sure how long I’ve been staring back at him when a slight, cheeky smile starts forming on his face. He then proceeds to wink at me, which completely throws me off guard, and having snapped out of my hypnotised state I quickly cast my eyes down. Of course, my name gets called out first because I am, as the professor just _has_ to mention, a special case since I transferred here from Beauxbatons. I can hear a lot of pennies dropping in people’s minds when they finally understand why I am standing here. I move forward to sit on the stool and the professor places the battered old Sorting Hat on my head very carefully, like it is some sort of crown. I’m not surprised to hear a voice talking in my head all of the sudden (Soobin warned me for this), and honestly I am not really paying attention to whatever it is saying, because I am feeling the glare of all the students on me, which really makes me nervous. When I have the strength to look up, I meet the eyes of the Slytherin boy again, his face still filled with curiosity. I quickly look away and wonder why he keeps staring at me like that. Do I have a smudge on my face or something? “Ah, yes, I think I have decided,” the hat mumbles in my head. I sit up straight and await its answer, but instead of the expected Hufflepuff, it shouts: “Slytherin!” A chill runs down my spine as the Slytherin House starts to cheer and the others Houses clap politely. Slytherin… This can’t be. I panicky look for Soobin, and when I see his face, it is full of surprise and also something that looks an awful lot like disappointment. I don’t understand. Why am I not in Hufflepuff? Students mostly end up in the same House as their parents, right? Slytherin has such a dark history, I don’t feel like this suits me at all... Still dazed I manage to get up and hurry my way over to the Slytherin table, again with the eyes of hundreds of students glued to me. I don’t really know where I have to sit down, because I have no clue which students are in my year, so I hesitantly come to a stop somewhere around the middle. “Come on guys, be nice and make some room,” a colourful voice says calmly. I look to find the owner of the voice and sure enough, it is the fox-like boy, who confidently looks back at me. He must have some sort of natural authority, because immediately some girls in front of me make room, while one of them says in a flirty voice: “Of course, Mr Prefect.” I have no idea what that means, but the boy is clearly annoyed, I can see him roll his eyes at the comment as I sit down. I want to thank him, but he sits across the table and just a bit too far away from me, and since I don’t feel like shouting through the Sorting Ceremony I just look at him and silently form the words 'thank you' with my mouth. He winks at me again and mouths 'my pleasure' back. I feel blood rushing to my cheeks for what feels like the hundredth time today, and I look away to watch the first-years while they struggle to put on the Sorting Hat. The boy stays on my mind for the remainder of the ceremony.

  
When the Start of Term Feast is finished, I go over to the Hufflepuff table (which, luckily, is right next to Slytherin’s) because I feel like I could use some support right now. It is almost as if Soobin can feel my need, because he is already making his way over to me from the other side of their table. “So, Slytherin House…” he starts off, like he doesn’t know what to say. “Yep, not what I expected. At all,” I say, just barely holding myself together. This evening didn’t go as expected. I felt a bit lonely during the feast; the other fifth-years were nice to hold up a small chitchat, as they were curious about where I was from and why I transferred. But soon after, they were all caught up in their own conversations, exchanging stories of the past summer and reminiscing memories from last year, which made me fall silent. Also, the boy kept looking at me every now and then, so I was doing my best to ignore his handsome face (which was _really_ hard) before he could wink at me again. Soobin must have noticed my gloomy state, because he comfortingly rubs my arm and says: “Ah, don’t worry noona, everything will be fine! We have a lot of classes together, and you can hang out with Beomgyu, Taehyun and me whenever you like.” His dimply smile reminds me why I liked him so much. It kind of feels like we merely hit pause on our friendship, and now we are together again, it just continues as it did before. “고마워, Soobin,” I say, and I feel a bit better already. “Now hurry up, before the rest of your House has left for your common room already.” Oh, right, I have to get to my chambers. I say goodbye to Soobin and hurry over to the entrance of the Great Hall, trying to find any of the other Slytherins. Of course, it seems that they are all gone. I curse silently as I try to figure out what to do next. “Lost already, new girl?” I hear a voice chime behind me. I already know who it is before I turn around and see a handsome face grinning at me. Why him again, I think to myself, as I force a smile and say: “It seems so. I was caught up in a conversation with my friend, and now it looks like all the Slytherins have left.” Great, I am already overexplaining myself. Why does he make me feel so nervous? “All but one.” He says goodbye to the person he was talking to and then leads the way to the Slytherin common room. “I don’t think I’ve properly introduced myself to you, have I? I am Yeonjun,” he continues, and he shakes my hand as I tell him my name. He has a firm grip, but at the same time warm and gentle, and he lingers just a bit before letting go. Yeonjun, sure sounds Korean, I wonder, as we arrive at the entrance to the Slytherin common room, which is surprisingly close to the Great Hall. All of the sudden, a person emerges from the entrance, which kind of startles me, and I can hear Yeonjun chuckle over my reaction. As soon as the person notices us, he says, seemingly relieved: “Ah, Yeonjun, I was looking for you.” I can sense that Yeonjun is needed elsewhere, so I turn to him and say: “Thank you for helping me out.” He smiles and says: “My pleasure. See you around, new girl.” Before he can wink at me again, I quickly descend down the stairs into the Slytherin common room. The room is quite dark, with a green glow from the lake, which, surprisingly, can be seen from the windows. I get an eerie feeling, again wondering why I was sorted into this House, which seems to fit to me so poorly. Fortunately, a warm fire is burning in the fire place, giving off a gentle heat, making me feel a bit more comfortable. A lot of people look at me curiously, but I feel a bit tired and don’t want to be caught up in conversations with the whole House all night, so I go over to the dormitories to give myself a good night’s sleep. Though I am not sure I will rest well tonight, with all the impressions of today still going through my mind.


	3. It will be alright, alright, alright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Distracted, I stumble and throw the ball completely off course, right in the drink of some girl. I rush over and apologise to her endlessly. People around us are laughing at her, and she yells aggressively: "I will make you feel sorry for what you did!” She pulls her wand, but I'm too shocked to react. Though before her curse can reach me, it is deflected by someone else’s. “That’s enough!” I hear a voice snap."
> 
> \- A handsome Slytherin comes to the rescue.  
> \- Soobinie is a safe haven (and we all know this is actually true T_T)  
> \- Beomgyu goes for Quidditch try-outs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter three is up!  
> For clarity: Yeonjun: sixth-year student, Soobin (and you): fifth-year, Beomgyu and Taehyun: fourth-year, and Hueningkai: third-year (I know this is age-wise not correct, but it fits my story this way ^.^)  
> Enjoy! 
> 
> Translations (/Romanisations):
> 
> 아이고 - Aigoo  
> 괜찮아? - Are you okay?  
> 감사합니다 - Thank you  
> 대박 - Daebak
> 
> ~

When the first week has passed, I meet up with the boys on Saturday at the field next to the castle to enjoy the last bit of summer on this unusual warm September day. As soon as I sit down on the quilt that has been spread out like a picknick blanket, I put my head in my hands and let out a deep sigh. “아이고 noona, was it that bad?” Taehyun asks me a bit worried, and he rubs my arm to give me some comfort. “I am just… tired, I guess,” I answer him, still struggling with my Korean a bit. The truth is, the first week here has been rough on me. I still feel like an outsider in Slytherin house; the common room is dark, my shared dormitory is cold, and I haven’t really progressed in making any friends (though the girls in my dormitory are nice to me). The classes are tough and the pace is high, because we have to pass important exams called O.W.L.s or something this year. Sometimes I feel like I have more knowledge of subjects than the other students because classes at Beauxbatons were more advanced, but most of the time I feel myself struggling to keep up. The only upside to all of this is when I have classes with Soobin. He always sits next to me in class (which gives us some strange looks, a Hufflepuff and a Slytherin being so close), and he always cheerily yaps to me in Korean (which gives even more strange looks). We share more than half our subjects, so most of the time I feel alright; but other than that, things are getting a bit lonely. On the positive side, I haven’t bumped into Yeonjun again, so my level of uncomfortableness has gone down drastically. “Don’t look so sad noona, it will be alright,” Beomgyu says and then he playfully pinches my cheek. “Ow, that hurts,” I complain, but Beomgyu ignores me and asks if anyone is up for some ball games. “I want to practice for Quidditch try-outs,” he says with dreamy eyes, probably already seeing himself soar across the sky. “You play?” I ask him, and his face slightly clouds over. “He wishes,” Taehyun says, earning him a slap from Beomgyu. “He tried last year, but just didn’t make the team,” Soobin explains. “Then he was sour for a week.” “A week? More like a month, if not the whole year,” Taehyun disagrees. Beomgyu, annoyed, throws the tennis ball he’s been playing with at Taehyun’s face, but Taehyun catches it mid-air and says with a cold expression: “Not the pretty face, thank you very much,” before he gently throws it back to him. “Come on, let’s go practice then,” I say, and Beomgyu immediately jumps up, already totally excited. Soobin joins as well, but Taehyun stays behind, mumbling something about feeling too tired and wanting to take a nap. We throw the ball around for a while, and I am getting impressed by Beomgyu’s agility and reflexes. I’ve played Quidditch myself back at Mahoutokoro several years ago and in my opinion he would make a fine Seeker. His face lights up when I tell him that, and he starts to throw the ball around in silly ways, behind his back and from underneath his leg, making me and Soobin giggle. But then… “Noona, be careful!” I hear Taehyun shout, just as I am about to throw the ball to Beomgyu. I look at Taehyun, distracted, and totally overlook the cat that suddenly runs in front of my feet, making me stumble and throw the ball completely off course. It lands right in the drink of some girl, which splashes into her face and onto her clothes. Shocked and mad at myself, I rush over to the girl, who is hysterically shrieking now, while apologising to her endlessly. To my despair, I see my House colours on the girl’s and her friends’ clothes, and I recognise her as the one who made the flirty 'Mr Prefect'-comment to Yeonjun at the Start of Term Feast. “Are you okay? I’m so sorry,” I go on, and offer her my handkerchief. People around us are laughing at her, making me feel even worse. She aggressively slaps my hand away and yells: “Do I look okay? I will make you feel sorry for what you did!” She pushes me, making me fall down, and pulls her wand. “Noona, watch out!” I hear Beomgyu and Soobin yell in unison, but I am too shocked to react. But before her curse can reach me, it is deflected by someone else’s. “That’s enough!” I hear a voice snap, and suddenly Yeonjun appears on my right, looking furious. “No duelling on school grounds, especially against someone who is unarmed! I should report you to the Head of House for this,” he scolds her. “Now go, clean yourself up, you got something on your shirt.” That's quite an understatement. The girl wants to protest, but Yeonjun cuts her off and sneers: “You ought to listen to the _Prefect_ when he asks something of you.” With one last foul look in my direction, the girl and her friends leave. I am still sitting on the ground, suddenly aware of people staring at us and whispering. “Show is over guys, get back to your own business,” Yeonjun declares, the anger still present in his voice, and people turn away. “Are you alright?” he asks me, looking worried, as he carefully helps me back on my feet. “Yeah, I am fine, thank you,” I respond, still shaking a little, which I try to cover up, but fail to miserably. “Noona, 괜찮아?” I feel Soobin’s hand on my shoulder, and I quickly reassure him I’m fine. Yeonjun looks at our conversation surprised, like he didn’t expect me to understand or speak Korean. Soobin, his hand still on my shoulder, turns to Yeonjun and says, a bit distant and formal: “감사합니다.” Yeonjun just nods, his eyes focused on Soobin’s hand, and I can feel sudden tension hanging in the air. I was right about Yeonjun being Korean, but how come he isn’t friends with the other Koreans at the school? Very strange. He looks at me one more time, still worried, and then walks away. “Noona, noona, are you okay? It all happened so fast!” Taehyun and Beomgyu shout concerned, although Beomgyu is jumping around me like a little bird, which makes me wonder if he was worried or excited about what happened. I assure them that I am fine, and we return to our quilt to sit down. Soobin looks a bit distracted, and I think it has something to do with Yeonjun. But I keep this in the back of my mind to ask about some other time.

The incident already slipped my mind as I stare at a notice on the notification board two weeks later. “Quidditch try-outs – Join the Slytherin team and defend our pride!” it says. I look at it in doubt, unsure what to do. I love Quidditch, and my friends back in Japan used to say I was very good, but still I am hesitant. Defend Slytherin’s pride, when I don’t feel like a Slytherin at all? The deadline is today, and the list is already full of names. Yeonjun’s name is at the top; apparently he was the captain last year. Seriously, just how popular is this guy? He’s a Prefect (I finally found out what that means), Quidditch team captain, and can’t take a step without being swarmed by fellow (often female) Slytherins. I sigh and shake my head. Maybe next year… I am just not sure about it. They’ll probably do fine without me. When I turn away from the board, I see Yeonjun looking at me, though he quickly looks away this time, like he barely notices me and is busy being caught up in his conversation with the guy next to him. I’m just hoping he won’t bring this up the next time I meet him. Though we haven’t really spoken to each other ever since the… incident. I remember how furious he looked when he protected me from the girl’s attack, and how distant he seemed when he saw me with Soobin after. I shake my head to get rid of the memory when I walk back to my dormitory to get my books for a study session with my Korean friends. But when I arrive at my room, I stop dead in my tracks as I stare at the awful scenery in front of me. My stuff is all over the place: my books are on the ground, their pages crumpled, my clothes in piles on the floor, my curtains torn from the bed, and my bedsheets ripped to pieces... For a moment I just stand there in utter disbelief, then I slowly take out my wand and whisper with tears in my eyes: “ _Reparo_.” The curtains pop back in their place, the bedsheets fuse together and fold themselves neatly, and the pages in my books straighten themselves again. I gather my clothes and put them back in my trunk, while I silently cry my eyes out. Why would someone do this to me? Who would be so mean to – Oh no. The girl I hit with the tennis ball, I realise. It must be her. She’s probably still very mad… Then I notice a small note on my nightstand. _You better watch your back_ , it says. With tears clouding my sight I rush out of the room, through the common room and up the stairs, leaving the stupid Slytherins behind me. I need to get out of this place! I run past the Great Hall, and of course it was only a matter of time before I would bump into someone. “I’m sorry,” I apologise, not even looking at the person as I try to move away, but he stops me and asks: “Noona? What is wrong?” I look up and meet Soobin’s worried eyes, and before I know it I start crying out loud. “It’s just, I just don’t, I… can’t…” I stammer without making any sense, tears flowing like a river down my face. Soobin then puts his arms around me and holds me tight, softly stroking my back while saying: “Don’t cry, noona. It will be alright.” But I do cry. And he is there for me, still holding me tight, patiently waiting until I’m done with my sobbing. What would I do without him right now?

After I told Soobin what happened, he managed to calm me down and somehow cheer me up. He invited me to go to Beomgyu’s Quidditch try-outs together with Taehyun the next day, which is the reason the three of us are heading to the Quidditch field right now. Taehyun is also shocked by what happened to me yesterday, and he advises me on some spells and jinxes I might want to try for protection, but I am not really listening to him, still feeling a bit down. Soobin looks at me every now and then, like he is not sure if he should say something to me or not. We arrive at the stands just in time to see Beomgyu emerge onto the field. I can tell even from this distance that he is nervous, but I wave at him and yell: “You can do it, Beomgyu-ah!” His face clears up and he waves back at me, looking a bit more confident now, while the other Gryffindors look at me warily, like I just tried to curse them or something. “Why are people always reacting so strange when I speak Korean?” I mumble, and Soobin and Taehyun grin at my pouty face. We watch the try-outs and cheer for Beomgyu; he is actually doing really well, I am confident he will make the team this time. Watching Beomgyu out there on the field makes me deeply regret not signing up for the Slytherin try-outs myself, but is too late for that now. When the try-outs are finished, Soobin and Taehyun rush down to congratulate Beomgyu, both already convinced that he made it. The next team is making their way onto the field, and to my surprise it is the Slytherin team. I watch them while I wait for the others to return, and I can see Yeonjun giving some kind of speech to the candidates, before they all get on their brooms for warming up. I bend over to gather my stuff when I suddenly hear Yeonjun say, in Korean: “I’m surprised to see you here, and not out there on the field.” I look up and see him balancing on the rail before me, his broom casually in one hand. “I saw you staring at the try-out notice for, I don’t know, maybe ten minutes? Or was it longer?” I feel my face turning red and stutter: “Well, the list was already full of names, and I am not sure I am good enough anyway, so…” “Whoa 대박, you _do_ speak Korean! That explains why you hang out with the other Koreans so much.” I’m about to ask why _he_ doesn’t hang out with the other Koreans, when I hear Taehyun’s voice from down below: “Noona! We’re leaving!” There is a moment of silence between Yeonjun and me, and then he gets on his broom again, like he suddenly recalls that he has some team members to recruit. “If our new team sucks, I am counting on you,” he says with a smile that makes his cheeks pop out in the cutest way, and then he flies away before I can answer. When I make my way down, Beomgyu asks me to tell him how great he did, upon which I assure him that he indeed was great, but then he adds: “Who were you talking to up there?” I hesitate, but decide maybe now is the time, and say: “I was talking to Yeonjun, a fellow Slytherin.” As soon as I mention his name, their faces cloud over. I push through anyway, and say: “He is also Korean, you know. I was wondering why you don’t hang out with him too?” There is a long pause, and I see Soobin looking a bit concerned at Beomgyu, before he tells me: “We used to, but then something… something happened. We got in a bit of an… argument, or more like a fight, maybe. But, I guess now is not really the time to talk about it,” he quickly says before I can ask him more about it. “Oh… okay. I understand,” I say, but secretly I want to know more. Taehyun then smoothly changes subject and we don’t mention Yeonjun again on our way back to the castle.


	4. Cool wind and the sensation of the blue sky / 차가운 바람 하늘색 감각

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We make our way to the Quidditch field early in the morning. “I thought practice started at ten,” I ask Yeonjun. “It does. I just wanted some time with you alone to see if you’re as good as I hope you are,” he says cheekily, making my heart flutter again. After about thirty minutes of me flying around, he calls me down, looking close to ecstatic. “You’re incredible! Why on earth didn’t you come to the try-outs?" I stare at the ground, feeling uncomfortable. What can I say to him that wouldn’t hurt his Slytherin pride?" 
> 
> \- Soobin is a gentleman (I would hold on to that sweater forever istg)  
> \- Hueningkai joins the group of friends yay we all love our maknae >3<  
> \- Yeonjun is not a fool teehee (read the chapter to know why *clickbait sorry*)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter four is up woohoo ~(^.^)~  
> For clarification/as a reminder: the main character (/you teehee) first went to Mahoutokoro, then to Beauxbatons, then transferred to Hogwarts. Hope that it is not too complicated v_v'  
> Oh and I decided not to give the "girl from the (tennis ball) incident" a name, because I don't want anyone's name attached to the story in a negative way ^.^  
> Alright enjoy!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> 가자 - Let's go
> 
> ~

By the end of September, the weather starts to get more chilly, and I shiver as I make my way through the castle towards the library for a study session with the guys. Even though the library is pretty crowded, I soon see Soobin waving at me with a dimply smile on his face. His cute expression makes me smile as well, and I quickly make my way over to the table and sit down next to him. “Where are Beomgyu and Taehyun?” I wonder as I take out my books. “Taehyun is getting warm drinks for everyone. I made sure he’d get you a hot chocolate.” “Aw, thanks!” Soobin knows me so well. “Beomgyu is late, but has he ever been on time, though?” We both giggle; Beomgyu is well-known for always being late. For everything. “Oh, the mood is nice and cosy here,” Taehyun says with a grin when he arrives with our drinks. I thankfully sip on my hot chocolate, a grateful smile forming on my face. “Are you cold, noona? Here, let me warm you up.” Taehyun gives me a tight hug while he rubs my back. “Ah, _much_ better,” I tease him, and he sits down next to me with a giggle. “Noonaaa,” I hear Beomgyu cheerfully exclaim when he enters the library, earning him a foul look from the librarian. His obviously fake apologetic face makes us all laugh, earning the whole group some more foul looks from the poor library lady. Beomgyu gives me a backhug and then starts drumming on my shoulders enthusiastically as he tells us, in a much softer voice now, how well he did at his Quidditch practice today. I endearingly look at him as he sits down, his good-looking face shining with happiness. What I first saw as flirting or overly-touchiness, I now again recognise as the familiar and friendly skinship that my dongsaengs use to show affection, which is so normal in Korean culture. However, it is a bit frowned upon here at Hogwarts, but I have carelessly decided to ignore that, and our friendship has only grown closer. A cold breeze suddenly blows through the library, and I shiver again. Autumn is really setting in. Soobin notices me being cold and he rubs my arm in an attempt to warm me up. “Oh jeez, you have goose bumps! Here let me help you out,” he says, and in one swift movement, he takes off his sweater and attempts to put it on me. “Oh no, no, that is not necessary,” I weakly sputter, but Soobin just ignores my half-hearted protest and continues with his attempts. Finally, I give in and let him put the sweater on, missing the look that Beomgyu and Taehyun exchange as they watch me and Soobin. I must admit that I do enjoy the comfort of Soobin’s sweater, which is still warm from his body. Much better… “How’s everything going at Slytherin, noona? Has the bullying gotten less?” Taehyun asks carefully. “Uhm…” The bullying actually hasn’t gotten as worse as when they wrecked my room, but whenever I see that girl from the tennis ball incident again, she never looks very delighted to see me. At dinner I hide behind my roommates, who luckily haven’t noticed a thing yet. But sometimes my stuff disappears, only to be retrieved in the weirdest places, and I found a few bugs in my bed lately. I don’t want them to worry, so I just say: “The girl from the incident still doesn’t like me, but nothing has happened recently.” Taehyun doesn’t seem convinced, and so do Soobin and Beomgyu, so I quickly make up some excuse that I need to get a certain book somewhere. It is only when I get up that I notice how oversized Soobin’s sweater is, and the guys joke that it looks more like a dress on me, which is sad but true. I walk away feeling half-annoyed and half-amused. Silly dongsaengies. When I aimlessly look around in the library, I notice Hueningkai sitting alone at a table, seeming a bit lonely and down. Feeling sympathy for him, because I’ve been lonely quite often myself lately, I walk over and greet him. “Oh, hi,” he says, sounding a bit sad, but putting a fake smile on his face, and we make some small talk. Then my eye catches his notes, and to my surprise they’re in Hangul. He’s Korean too?! “Oh, you’re Korean?” I ask him, and his eyes grow wide when he hears me speak his native language. “Whoa, you speak Korean? I can’t believe it!” he laughs. He explains to me that he’s been having trouble with Transfiguration, and memorising is easier when his notes are written down in Hangul. “I could help you with that,” I offer. “Transfiguration is one of my best subjects, you know.” “You could? Oh, I would be so grateful, thank you!” Hueningkai looks tremendously relieved, so I invite him over to come study at our table. The others look surprised as I return with Hueningkai, and Taehyun mumbles in Korean: “That’s an interesting book you got there.” Hueningkai giggles and Taehyun blushes as he realises Hueningkai understood what he said. I explain the situation, and the others graciously make room for Hueningkai to join us. A sweet smile appears on Hueningkai’s face, which warms my heart.

We find out that Hueningkai (who we already started calling ‘Hyuka’, because his name is so long and we all agree that this suits our maknae well) also plays Quidditch, which is the reason we make our way back to the Quidditch field on Saturday, to cheer him on for his first game. I am a little bit conflicted though, because the opponent is my own House; I just hope no one notices when I softly cheer for Hueningkai as well. We settle in for the game, and find out that our maknae is the Keeper, which makes sense because he’s so damn tall for his age and has lengthy limbs as well, making sure his reach across the goal hoops is far. Unconsciously, I look around to see if I can spot Yeonjun, and I soon find him flying around with a bat in his hands, indicating that he is a Beater. He is totally caught up in the game, his hair blown backwards by the wind, exposing his forehead and making him look even more handsome. I blush as I catch myself with thoughts like this, and I promptly turn my gaze to Hueningkai, who just made a beautiful save. Even though he is quite talented, you can tell he is still a bit unexperienced, because after a while the Slytherin team lies ahead with a 170 points to 30. But this is not entirely Hueningkai’s fault: the Slytherin Keeper is just so extremely good, blocking multiple attempts from challenging angles, leaving everyone amazed by his skills. “Looks like Slytherin is about to win the game,” Taehyun analyses, but Soobin doesn’t agree with him: “They may be ahead in points, but their Seeker sucks. He doesn’t even see the Snitch when it is so close to him!” I haven’t really been paying attention to that aspect of the game, so I ask Soobin: “Where do you see the Snitch then?” He suddenly bends in closely, wraps his arm around my shoulder and turns me in the right direction. “Right there, you see?” he points out, with his face unusually close to mine. Distracted, I don’t see the Snitch at all. I’m just hoping Soobin doesn’t notice how him being so close suddenly makes it harder for me to breathe. “Ah, I see it now,” I lie to him, hoping he will move a bit further away, but he just smiles at me and leaves his arm around me, totally relaxed and probably oblivious to how I feel. Confused and a little flushed, I try to bring my heartrate down, wondering why this skinship suddenly makes me feel this way. It’s probably just the excitement from the game, I convince myself; the stadium is indeed filled with adrenaline. Suddenly the crowd gasps, as the Hufflepuff Seeker flies straight to the Slytherin one, who, with a little shriek, ducks away. The next moment, the Hufflepuff triumphantly holds up the Golden Snitch in his hand. With a ten points difference, Hufflepuff wins the game. We all jump up in excitement, though I quickly sit down again because I am of course not supposed to cheer for the other team, but I can see Hueningkai’s bright smile even from here. He’s feeling much better now, I think happily, as we make our way down to congratulate our maknae. “Hyung! Noona! Did you guys see that?” Hueningkai cheers, and we all tell him how amazing he was, even though they just barely won. When I look over to the Slytherin team, who all look very disappointed, I can see that Yeonjun is trying to cheer them up, though he scolds the Seeker slightly for missing the Snitch when it was right in front of him. He then notices me and makes his way over, ignoring all the Slytherin girls that try to attract his attention. I suddenly remember what he said to me when I saw him at the try-outs, but before I can make my way out, he declares, without even greeting me: “We need you on the team.” Dumbfounded, I just stare at him. His hair is wild and messy, still blown back from the wind, his cheeks red from the cold, and he looks at me with the same intense, focused look in his eyes as he had in the game. “I need you on my team,” he says now, slightly changing his words, making my heart flutter. I bite my lip. I know I am better than the current Seeker, and I actually felt kind of frustrated when I saw him miss the opportunity to catch the Snitch. But to be on the team for Slytherin House… “I-I’ll think about it,” I stutter. “Join us for practice tomorrow. From ten to twelve noon,” he says, ignoring my doubt. “How are you so sure I’ll be better?” I ask him, wondering why he is so confident about it. He finally smiles at me, and says: “I just know it.” Then he walks away, not even awaiting my reply. “I’ll pick you up in the common room at nine,” he shouts without looking at me. Astounded, I watch him go, but I force myself to snap out of it, afraid he will catch my gaze. I look away to the guys, but they haven’t noticed my little chat with Yeonjun at all.

The next morning, I arrive in the common room a little late, because I didn’t know what to wear, didn’t know what to bring with me (except my broom of course) and didn’t know what to do in general; should I even go? But I can see Yeonjun is indeed waiting for me, already geared up in his Quidditch uniform. “You’re late,” he says, but he smiles at me, like he knew I would come anyway. I am annoyed by his confidence, but I don’t show it to him. He throws a Quidditch uniform at me, which I catch clumsily. “I’m glad we’re not looking for a Chaser, you’d drop the Quaffle in no time,” he laughs, and I give him an irritated look. “가자?” he asks sweetly, and a bit reluctantly, I follow him up the stairs, out of the common room. “I thought practice started at ten,” I ask him as we make our way to the field. “It does. I just wanted some time with you alone to see if you’re as good as I hope you are,” he says cheekily, making my heart flutter again. Why does he keep saying these kind of things so bluntly? This boy has infinite confidence. We arrive at the field, and after I changed into the uniform, which fits me remarkably well, he asks me to fly a few rounds, to see if my technique is any good. I get on my broom and soar off, and I am immediately met by the familiar, euphoric feeling of flying. Oh how I missed this! We didn’t fly much at Beauxbatons, and being part of the Quidditch team at Mahoutokoro seems ages ago. I feel the cool wind in my face and the sensation of the endlessness of the blue sky above me. If I wanted to, I could just fly away, away from Slytherin and Hogwarts and everything that makes me feel sad… Yeonjun gives me a few assignments, and observes me as I carry them out, his smile growing bigger with every task I finish successfully. After about thirty minutes he calls me down, his face close to being ecstatic. “You’re incredible!” he says breathless, his eyes sparkling with excitement, and I shyly blush at his sincere compliment. “Why on earth didn’t you come to the try-outs? You would have beaten the competition effortlessly!” I stare at the ground, suddenly feeling a bit uncomfortable. What can I say to him that wouldn’t hurt his Slytherin pride? “Hey, what’s wrong?” He looks at me worried, and then takes me by the hand, leading me to the bench to sit down. “What’s on your mind?” he asks me, his eyes peering into mine, and I decide to confess to him how I feel about being sorted into Slytherin House, and that it is this unhappy feeling that has held me back. He is silent for a moment, carefully weighing his words before he tells me: “You know, being in Slytherin doesn’t mean that you’re a bad person, or that you’re mean, or disregarding of other’s feelings and opinions. It just means you have certain traits, traits where you can be proud of.” He gazes at the blue sky, and continues: “We’re ambitious, driven, determined; sure, we can be a little too perfectionistic, bold, or perhaps ruthless, but we all have our flaws. Don’t think Gryffindors are always that honest, or Ravenclaws are always that wise. I even had to scold some Hufflepuffs that were bullying that Keeper-kid from their own Quidditch team, so they’re no saints either!” I unconsciously flinch when I hear this information. Poor Hyuka… Yeonjun now turns to me and says: “The point is, we are all sorted into the House that suits us best, that displays our best qualities, not our worst. You’re so talented, you shouldn’t let your doubt get in the way of your joy of flying.” I feel comforted by his words, he is so sincere and kind. Maybe I was wrong about Slytherin. Maybe it isn’t so bad to be in this House after all. At least there are some nice people, like Yeonjun and my roommates… I smile at him and say, feeling encouraged by his words: “Alright, I’ll join the team, if you’ll have me.” Yeonjun smiles back and says: “I’d be a fool if I wouldn’t want to have you.” Before I can even blush at the double meaning of his words, I hear someone shout: “Hey Yeonjun, who’s this lovely lady you brought to our Quidditch practice?” I see the rest of the Slytherin team emerge onto the field, all looking happy again, like they already forgot about their loss yesterday, or are now even more eager to win next time. Yeonjun jumps up and says with a grin: “Everyone: meet our new Seeker.”


	5. Trouble trouble let me go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Soobin asks me what happened, but I tell him a lie, which is hard because he is peering into my eyes, trying to find the truth inside. As the nurse takes care of me, Soobin holds my hand and soothingly rubs over it with his thumb every time I flinch. After I'm dismissed from the Hospital Wing, we make our way to the Great Hall; Soobin is still holding my hand firmly. As we arrive, our friends immediately rush to us, all talking at the same time and looking worried. How did they know something has happened?"
> 
> \- Some secrets you can't hide forever - like being on a Quidditch team.  
> \- Potions class sucks but luckily Soobin is there to hold your hand.  
> \- A handsome Slytherin comes to the rescue (again); unexpectedly this time.  
> \- A handsome Gryffindor comes to the rescue as well; but he pays a high price for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is up, number 5 yay >3<  
> I added some notes to the end as well, to avoid spoilers.  
> Have fun reading!
> 
> Translations/Romanisations:
> 
> 대박 - Daebak  
> 진짜 - Really  
> 하지마! - Stop it!  
> 아파! - Ow!/It hurts!  
> 괜찮아? - Are you okay?  
> 가자 - Let's go
> 
> ~

And from that day on, life at Hogwarts gets a lot better. On Tuesday and Thursday afternoon that week, I attend the Slytherin Quidditch training, feeling free and happy when I soar through the sky with my new teammates. Everyone on the team is nice to me, I suspect largely because I am a lot better than their former Seeker and they’re just really glad their team has gotten stronger, but it’s nice for a change. Yeonjun is a great captain; he keeps coming up with exercises, every new one more challenging than the last, and I can feel myself progressing, even though I only had three practices until now. On the other days, I study with my Korean friends, though most of the time we just chat. I haven’t told them yet that I’m on the Slytherin Quidditch team now, and to be honest, I’m a little afraid of their reaction. I’m getting closer to Yeonjun, while I still haven’t figured out what happened between them, and why they get upset whenever his name comes up. What could have happened that broke up their friendship?

That Saturday, we go to Hogsmeade to celebrate Beomgyu’s first successful Quidditch match. It is quite obvious that Gryffindor has won against Ravenclaw, because Beomgyu can’t stop jumping around in joy, his now burgundy-red hair bouncing around. “Did you dye your hair again, Beomgyu-ah?” I ask him out of curiosity. He looks at me a little offended while he says with a pout: “Dye my hair? Do I look like a muggle to you?” “Beomgyu-hyung is a Metamorphmagus,” Taehyun explains when he sees my confused expression. “Oh, 대박! So you can change your appearance anyway you like?” Hueningkai exclaims enthusiastically. Beomgyu looks very content at the maknae’s admiration and says: “But of course. I only use it to change my hair colour though. This handsome face is one hundred percent natural.” Hueningkai keeps requesting different hair colours on our way to the Three Broomsticks, and Beomgyu effortlessly changes his hair at his request; when we finally get to the pub, his hair is half red, half gold. Beomgyu buys us a round of drinks, and we all settle in and get comfortable after being in the cold all morning for the game. “Noona, you got a little foam on your lip,” Taehyun giggles. “Where?” I ask as I try to wipe it off, but of course I miss it completely. “Here, let me help you,” Soobin offers, and he carefully wipes across my upper lip with his thumb. At that exact moment, the door of the pub opens and a group of students enter. I immediately recognise them as the Slytherin Quidditch team, and I try to hide behind Soobin, who says, obviously confused: “Uhm, noona, what are you doing?” But it is already too late, as the Slytherins shout out my name joyfully and wave at me. “Wait, isn’t that the Slytherin Quidditch team…” Hueningkai ponders, and Beomgyu asks me, a little surprised: “Do you know them, noona?” Well, I couldn’t have kept this secret forever. “Yes, I do,” I say, my eyes fixated on the table. “I’m… I’m actually their new Seeker.” “진짜?!” Beomgyu shouts, and an awkward silence follows. But then Taehyun says: “Congratulations, noona,” and he wraps his arm around me to give me a small hug. “That’s quite an accomplishment.” I smile at him gratefully, and the others congratulate me as well. “But you didn’t attend their try-outs,” Soobin wonders. “How come you’ve joined the team?” I am too afraid to look him in the eye when I say: “I was asked to join by… someone.” Soobin just nods, and the conversation quickly changes to a different topic, though Taehyun gives me a strange look, like he knows that I was about to mention Yeonjun’s name. However, he doesn’t say anything about it, so I let the moment pass.

“Noona, you’re supposed to add this ingredient in the next step.” “No, I am not, it says step seven, right there.” “We’re at step six.” “No, we’re not!” I am bickering with Soobin during Potions class, like we always do. I tend to forget at which step we are, often ending up adding ingredients at the wrong moment, but Soobin tends to forget to stir the cauldron, resulting in our potions being viscous and sticky instead of nice and smooth. Needless to say, we often fail to get our potion ready in time. “I’m sure we are, silly,” Soobin belittles me, and he softly pinches my cheek. “하지마!” I say, only half annoyed. When I check again, I notice he is right, but I’m too proud to admit it, so I just mumble something and proceed with step six. He smiles, obviously feeling pretty pleased with himself, and then gets up to get us some more ingredients, just like a lot of the other students. It seems we aren’t that far behind this time, which is a first. By now, we’re already halfway through October; time is flying by so fast… “Noona, how much was it again?” I hear Soobin ask me. I turn to him to answer him, my back is turned to the cauldron for just a few seconds. And then suddenly, I hear a splashing sound, like something fell in the cauldron, and it immediately proceeds to hiss and boil. “Oh no,” I say panicky, as our potion starts to boil over and leak onto the floor. Huge bubbles form and burst, and the potion splashes onto my clothes, making a hole in my sleeve. Immediately, I feel a burning sensation on my skin, which hurts tremendously. “Ow, ow, 아파!” I cry out. Soobin rushes back to me, and the professor comes to our aid and makes the potion disappear. The room has gotten silent, everyone is staring, as always. “괜찮아?” Soobin asks concerned, and I shake my head. “She needs to go to the Hospital Wing,” the professor says after looking at my arm. “I’ll take her there.” Soobin helps me up and wraps his arm around me for support. As we leave the room, I notice the Slytherin girl from the incident. And she is actually _smiling_. My heart freezes as I realise what happened. She must have thrown something into the cauldron. _You better watch your back_. And that is exactly what I didn’t do just now... Soobin stays with me while the nurse examines my arm. She then leaves after a while to get some kind of ointment, and Soobin asks me what happened. “I think a wrong ingredient fell in the cauldron,” I lie to him. “It just fell in? We didn’t have any dangerous stuff lying around…” He is peering into my eyes, like he’s trying to find the truth inside. But before he can ask more about it, the nurse returns and takes care of my burns. Soobin holds my hand, and soothingly rubs over it with his thumb every time I flinch. The nurse then puts a bandage on my arm and dismisses me from the Hospital Wing. It is already time for dinner, so we make our way to the Great Hall. Soobin is still holding my hand, which gives me the strength not to start crying again. As we arrive, Beomgyu, Taehyun and Hueningkai immediately rush to us, all talking at the same time and looking worried. How did they know something has happened? Word goes round so quickly here at the castle. “Do you think you will be able to play Quidditch this weekend?” Hueningkai asks. This Saturday, I have my first Quidditch match, against Gryffindor. “I think it’ll be over by then. Seriously, I’m already feeling better right now,” I assure him. “Don’t think I’ll treat you nicely because you are little hurt, noona,” Beomgyu teases me in an attempt to cheer me up, though he still looks a little concerned. “I don’t expect you too,” I say, teasing him back while I mess up his hair, making my dongsaengs chuckle. Their sweet laughter makes me forget my worries for a brief moment.

My Quidditch teammates are all overly worried when they see me arrive with a bandage on my arm that Thursday at our final practice before the game. They fret over me, but I dismiss their concerns, repeating what I said to Hueningkai that it’ll probably be over by then. Yeonjun calls me to him while the others start warming up, and he carefully takes my arm to look at it himself, though the only thing he can see is the bandage. “Are you sure you want to attend practice today? What if somethings hits your arm and it’ll get worse?” “Don’t worry, I’ll be careful.” Please let go if my arm, I think. His touch is burning more than my actual burns. Though we are friends now, I still feel a bit uncomfortable sometimes. He is very intimate, displays skinship just like my other Korean friends, but somehow it feels different, like it is on the edge of flirting. “What happened?” he questions me. “A small accident at Potions class. Nothing serious,” I tell him. He closes his eyes and sighs, and then looks at me with his familiar smile that makes his cheeks pop out. “I should look after you, you always keep getting yourself in these dangerous situations. You’re like a little child, my _baby_.” He pinches my cheek, looking endeared. Feeling a little offended, I say with a pout: “Let’s just get on with the training.” Yeonjun laughs and gets on his broom. “Alright then, 가자.”

“Are you ready to lose, noona?” Beomgyu taunts me when we see each other on the Quidditch field, getting ready to play our match. “I was going to ask you the same question,” I bounce back. He blows me a kiss, and I pretend to swat it away. “Ya, baby, get over here please!” Yeonjun calls me. Beomgyu’s eyes grow bigger when he hears it, looking surprised. Feeling flustered, I just wave at him when I fly over to my team, and I give Yeonjun an irritated look. Does he have to call me that in front of everyone? Quickly, the game gets started, and it doesn’t take very long to get heated up and intense. The rivalry between Gryffindor and Slytherin is centuries old, and still very much alive today. But already after a few minutes, I notice something out of place. The Bludgers are behaving… strange. Instead of being steered by the Beaters when they hit them with their bat, they seem to move out of themselves. And they’re flying straight at Beomgyu. He ducks away from the first few, thinking the Beaters are just aiming at him (which happens to a Seeker a lot, I can tell out of experience). But just as I realise it, he also seems to notice that the Bludgers keep returning in his direction. I totally forget about my quest for the Snitch and yell at Beomgyu: “Beomgyu-ah, watch out! There is something wrong with the Bludgers!” And then I start to notice more strange things. It’s not just the Bludgers actually; the Quaffle moves shaky too, likes it’s trying to get out of the players’ hands. Then suddenly, I see the Snitch, but only because it is coming right at me. What's this? I should be chasing the Snitch, not the other way around. I try to dodge it, but its razor sharp wings cut my unharmed arm. The Snitch follows on his path and starts to bother Beomgyu now too, together with the Bludgers. He is looking quite helpless, flying around wildly while trying to get rid of them. I’m just about to take out my wand and cast a spell, but then Yeonjun, of all people, arrives next to him, hitting the balls away with his bat. “Someone… tampered… with the… balls!” he shouts in between his hits. Beomgyu looks baffled, like he didn’t expect Yeonjun to protect him, and then the whistle blows; apparently the referee noticed the strange behaviour as well. I try to fly over to them, carefully avoiding the Snitch which has started to bother me again, but then the Bludgers, which were sent off by Yeonjun, suddenly change their path halfway and start flying towards me. “What the –“ I shout out surprised, and I duck away. But I’m not as agile as Beomgyu, partly because both of my arms are hurt now, and in the next round of attack the tail of my broom is smashed to pieces. I immediately start falling from the sky, the crowd gasps and I hear my teammates yell. After a few meters of freefall, Beomgyu sweeps in, catching me mid-air. But since I already gained a lot of speed, we are both going down now. He manages to slow us down a little, and then we crash into the ground. I feel a sharp pain in my body as we hit the grass, but my fall is largely broken by Beomgyu, who has put his arms around me to protect me. His head smacks against the ground, and then he just lies still. “Beomgyu!” I cry out, immediately forgetting my own pain as a rush of fear courses through my body. I take his face in my hands and try to wake him up, but he doesn’t respond. Before I know it, I am pushed away by some of the professors, who quickly take him to the Hospital Wing. Paralysed by shock, I just stand on the field, unable to move. Then my teammates crowd around me, all asking me if I’m in pain, but I don’t respond to them, still feeling dazed. Yeonjun suddenly appears in front of me and opens his arms, and I instinctively bury my face in his chest. “He’ll be alright,” he says, and I could swear his voice broke. “He’s going to be just fine.”

When I arrive at the Hospital Wing (I was forced by my teammates to go and get myself checked), my Korean friends are already sitting at Beomgyu’s side. Seeing Beomgyu lying there so still, nothing like his happy, cheery self, breaks my heart, and I finally start crying. Soobin takes me in his arms and soothes me, but I just go on uncontrollably. “It’s – all – my – fault,” I barely manage to say, but my friends all immediately disagree. “Someone has tampered with the Quidditch balls,” Taehyun says. “They were cursed to attack the Seekers.” _You better watch your back_. They were cursed to attack the Seekers… They just attacked the _wrong_ Seeker. “They should have attacked me,” I sob, and then I tell them everything that happened. “Ya, noona, why did you keep this from us? You should have gone to your Head of House, or even the Headmaster!” Hueningkai scolds me. That hits me hard. I am being scolded. By our _maknae_ , of all people. “I just hoped it would stop eventually,” I say in a tiny voice. “I didn’t expect it to get out of hand like this.” The others look at me worried, and make me promise to go tell my story to the Slytherin Head of House immediately. “We can go with you if you need support,” Taehyun offers sweetly. “No, I’ll be fine,” I sniffle. I get up and take one last look at Beomgyu before I leave. This is all my fault. Time for these troubles to let me go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End notes:
> 
> For those who don't know what a Metamorphmagus is: https://harrypotter.fandom.com/wiki/Metamorphmagus  
> Bewitched Quidditch balls that go after players is of course not my original idea, but let's say I took JK Rowlings idea to the next level teehee.  
> And when Yeonjun says "baby", it's in English, not Korean, as in he uses it as a cute nickname. ~(^3^)~


	6. Nap of a Star / 별의 낮잠

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I slowly start panicking as Yeonjun connects the dots. Why does this upset me so much? Because it suggest that Yeonjun… likes me? “Oh… wait a minute. I think I get it.” Even though I can't see his face because he is carrying me on his back right now, I just know he is grinning when he says this. He glances at me, and looks annoyingly pleased when he sees my flushed face. “Maybe I should keep calling you baby." "
> 
> \- Justice is served.  
> \- Yeonjun is sweet and caring, and won't let you walk back to the common room yourself, especially when you just fell from your broom a few hours earlier.  
> \- "Nap of a Star", because Beomgyu (the star) is resting to recover T-T

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back with chapter six! ~(>3<)~  
> It's a bit shorter, otherwise the next chapter would have gotten waaay to long.  
> Looking forward to share chapter seven already ~~~ we all love a good Hallowe'en party, right? ^.^  
> Enjoy reading!
> 
> Translations/Romanisations:
> 
> 아파! - Ow!/It hurts!  
> 미안해 - I'm sorry (informal)  
> 대박 - Daebak
> 
> ~

While I am waiting at the office of the Slytherin Head of House, sitting in silence in front of the professor, I realise just now that I am still wearing my Quidditch uniform and I haven’t let the nurse take care of the cuts in my other arm caused by the Snitch’s wings. Oops. When I told the Head of House what had been going on the past few weeks, she first scolded me (in a worried-mother kind of way) and then asked the Slytherin Prefects to go get the girl for questioning. Somehow, I am nervous, even though I know I did nothing wrong here. Well, I did _something_ wrong. Beomgyu got hurt because I was too afraid to step up before now. I’m not sure if I can ever forgive myself for that. When the door opens again, the girl enters, looking annoyed and slightly afraid, and she is followed by Yeonjun, of all people. What the hell is he doing here? “I found her professor,” Yeonjun says, and when he sees me sitting here too, his eyes grow big. “Baby, what are you doing here? You should be in the Hospital Wing!” I flinch at the word ‘baby’, which stands out in an otherwise all-Korean sentence. I should really tell him to stop calling me that. “English only, please, mister Choi,” the professor tells him strictly. “Sorry, professor.” “Anyway, it’s good you’re here too, I heard you were present at one of the incidents as well.” Yeonjun nods; he already knows what she is talking about. Then the professor starts questioning the girl, who immediately gets defensive. They argue for a while, and the professor slowly becomes irritated. “So now you’re telling me you didn’t try to duel with an unarmed fellow Slytherin?” the professor asks, unimpressed by the girls defence. “She did, professor, I had to interfere, otherwise –” “I wasn’t asking _you_ , mister Choi.” “Sorry, professor.” The professor looks at Yeonjun strictly, like she is giving him a warning not to interrupt again, and then turns her attention back to the girl. “And you are also saying that you did not wreck her room and hid her stuff? Put something dangerous in her cauldron that made the potion boil over and burn her? And also did not curse the Quidditch balls today, causing harm to yet another student, who is now recovering in the Hospital Wing?” Hearing it summed up like that makes me realise how bad it actually has gotten. Also seeing Yeonjun’s face become pale while looking at me all shocked makes me realise how bad it actually has gotten. Eventually, the girl’s defence crumbles, and she reluctantly admits to the accusations. I actually feel relieved that she did. At least I know for sure it was her, and that everything is over now. The professor sighs deeply, and then says: “I just don’t understand why. Just because she accidently hit you with a tennis ball?” “She humiliated me! In front of everyone!” “Is that really the only reason?” The girl looks embarrassed, and glances at Yeonjun before she looks at the ground. Oh. Oh no. Oh no, no, no. It suddenly all makes sense. The flirty ‘Mr Prefect’ comment. The fact that _Yeonjun_ was the one who defended me. And she cursed Quidditch balls because Quidditch is what connects me and Yeonjun… oh no. She was _jealous_ of me. Because of Yeonjun. Even _I_ get embarrassed. Please, please don’t confess that in front of him. The professor must have noticed the way the girl looked at Yeonjun, because she says: “Ah, I see. Oh, young love, it wouldn’t be the first time it got someone in serious trouble.” The girl blushes, and unwillingly, I blush too. Yeonjun looks confused, like he hasn’t connected the dots. Yet. “Alright, you two can leave now,” she says to me and Yeonjun. “I’ll see what we'll have to do with this one.” I get up, thank the professor, and without looking at Yeonjun I hurriedly make my way out. Of course it doesn’t take long before he catches up with me and stops me. “Ow, 아파!” I yelp as he accidently grabs me by my burnt arm to prevent me from escaping. “Oh, 미안해,” Yeonjun apologizes, immediately releasing me. I start walking again, but he has no trouble keeping up with me. “Did she actually do all those things?” he starts off. “Yeonjun, really, I’m not in the mood for this.” “Well, I’m not going to wait until you are. Why didn’t you tell me this before? We could have gone to the Head of House together, and this all would have stopped before Beomgyu –” He abruptly stops and bites his lip, like it hurts saying Beomgyu’s name. I stop walking, feeling exhausted and frustrated and in pain, actually. The crash from today hurts more than I realised. “I just hoped it would stop eventually. I know, it’s stupid, but I didn’t want anyone to worry about me. I just… I guess I didn’t know what to do, so I just didn’t do anything.” I put my face in my hands and rub my eyes, feeling so, so tired. Today was awful. Yeonjun’s face softens, and he apologizes again. “You must be exhausted. Let’s head back to the common room and get you to bed to rest.” I just nod and want to start walking again, but Yeonjun stops me and says: “No walking, here, get on my back.” He turns his back to me and bends his knees a little. Oh no. No way. “Come on, I’m not going to wait all day.” “I’m not getting on your back, Yeonjun.” “Don’t be such a baby, baby.” “Don’t call me baby, please.” “I won’t if you get on my back.” This guy, seriously. I roll my eyes and give in. “That’s my girl,” he says as climb onto his back. I don’t like that comment either, but I’m too tired to say anything of it. I put my arms around his neck tightly, not eager to hit the ground a second time today. I lay my head to rest against his, feeling like I could doze off any second from exhaustion, and also wondering how the hell he still smells so nice after having played Quidditch all morning. “By the way, did you know what the professor meant with that ‘young love’ comment? I can’t wrap my head around it…” he ponders. I’m so glad he can’t see my face right now. “No, no idea.” Please stop talking about it. “I mean, who was that girl in love with? You? Was she trying to get your attention?” “I highly doubt that,” I scoff. “Then whose attention was she trying to get? Or where you getting the attention she wanted, and was she just jealous…?” I slowly feel panic rising as I can hear the dots being connected. Why am I so agitated about this? Is it because it suggests that Yeonjun… likes me? “Oh, wait a minute. I think I get it.” I can just hear he has a grin on his face when he says this. “So that’s why the professor kept looking at me. Interesting.” He glances at me, and looks annoyingly pleased when he sees my flushed face. “Maybe I should keep calling you 'baby',” he teases me. I just ignore him and we continue our way in silence.

Beomgyu slowly recovers the next couple of weeks, and I visit him almost every day, often accompanied by one or more of my other dongsaengs. I apologise to him over and over again, but Beomgyu is quick to forgive, and keeps teasing me with ways to make up to him, which ranges from buying him all kinds of stuff and food to an unlimited amount of hugs and kisses (he received a (gentle) slap when he came up with the kisses). Slowly, Beomgyu is turning back into his joyful, cheery, handsome self again, and he becomes more worried about the fact that he might not be able to join the Hallowe’en Feast than the fact that he has been missing all of his classes for almost two weeks. “What’s so great about the Hallowe’en Feast?” I ask him. His face immediately brightens, and his eyes sparkle with enthusiasm. “Oh, the Hallowe’en Feast is just the best!” he exclaims, and his hair turns pumpkin-orange; I’m not sure if that is voluntary or accidental. “The food, the music, the atmosphere, the _food_ …” Hueningkai is practically drooling. “It’s kind of like a party, not just a feast, and from the fourth year up, students are allowed to stay out real late, and apparently things get pretty wild then.” Beomgyu’s eyes grow big while he is talking. “Soobin-hyung has told stories about professors getting drunk and duelling, House ghosts telling scary stories that made people have nightmares for weeks, and last year some sixth-year Gryffindor blew up a huge pumpkin and then the Houses had a food fight with the remainder of it.” “Ugh, gross,” I say, as Hueningkai admirably whispers: “대박…” “This would be my first year of staying out late, so I _have_ to go.” I gently stroke his arm to encourage him and say: “Well, Hallowe’en is this Friday, so you still have a few more days to recover.” Beomgyu’s face turns a little sad as he says: “The nurse is not sure I’ll be out of bed by Friday…” “I’ll come bring you the food personally then.” He cheers up a little. “You’ll do that for me, noona?” “Of course, Gyu. For you, anything.” “Anything huh…?” “Don’t you dare, Beomgyu.” The nurse is starting to look annoyed with our presence (we probably stayed out way beyond the visiting hours again), so Hueningkai and I get up and wave at Beomgyu as we leave the Hospital Wing. “The Hallowe’en Feast sure is amazing,” Hueningkai says, his thoughts probably back at the food again. “I just hope Beomgyu will be recovered in time,” I sigh, feeling guilty. Hueningkai smiles at me sweetly and rubs my belly in an attempt to cheer me up. “Don’t worry, noona. I’m sure he will.”


	7. Poppin’ star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " “You should really try one of these,” Yeonjun agrees. He takes out one and holds it in front of me, teasingly moving it around. My teammates giggle at our little display, so I quickly give in and let Yeonjun feed me. “How is it?” “Delicious.” He looks satisfied as he coos: “I knew you’d like that flavour.” “Oh, stop it please," our teammate in front of us complains. "You and Yeonjun are the only single ones on the team, aren’t you?” another teammate asks. “Maybe you and Yeonjun should just start dating too.” Yeonjun grins and answers, making my head feel light. Did he really just say that?"
> 
> \- What could Yeonjun have said that makes your heart flutter...?  
> \- Taehyun is onto you, but he has a secret to spill too.  
> \- Soobin is a sweetheart, but also causes a sleepless night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo chapter seven is up ~(^o^)~  
> Just imagine Poppin' Star playing in the background, because it is perfectly fitting for this chapter.  
> I enjoyed writing this chapter, so I hope you enjoy reading it ^3^
> 
> Translations:
> 
> 괜찮아 - Are you okay?  
> 바보 - Idiot  
> 하지마 - Stop it
> 
> ~

As I enter the Great Hall that Friday, I am astounded by what I see. The entire hall is filled with pumpkins carved into lanterns, bats are flying across the ceiling, and more ghosts than usual float around in between the students. The hall is dimly lit, creating a cosy and festive atmosphere. I immediately understand why Beomgyu and Hueningkai like it so much. “Breath-taking, isn’t it?” I turn around to see Beomgyu, all happy and healthy and grinning from ear to ear. “You made it!” I exclaim happily and I give him a tight hug. “Ah careful, noona, I just recovered from the last hug you gave me,” he jokingly refers to our crash, and I quickly release him. “The nurse let me go, probably because she got super annoyed by me whining all day,” he grins, looking proud of himself. “I’m so happy for you, Gyu.” “Me too! Alright, I’m going to go eat now, see you after the dinner!” He waves at me as he leaves for the Gryffindor table, and I walk over to my own House. I am about to sit down next to my roommates, when I am called by the Slytherin Quidditch team, who insist I join them for the Feast. “So, we don’t have to sit by year at this Feast?” I wonder as I sit down next to them, remembering the strict division at the Start of Term Feast. “We do, but we chose to ignore it,” I suddenly hear Yeonjun say, and he sits down next to me, moving in close. _Very_ close. He must be able to hear my heartbeat, no doubt. I chat with my teammates for a while, at first a bit agitated and trying to ignore Yeonjun’s presence, but slowly the cheerful mood that hangs in the air makes me relax more and more. The Headmaster gives a little speech, and then suddenly, the food pops up on the table, just as it did at the Start of Term Feast. Again I am startled by the food appearing in front of me out of thin air, and I can hear Yeonjun chuckle because of my reaction. “Still not used to it?” he asks me, smiling sweetly, and I nod. Magic is so amazing. The whole team dives in, and we are a bit more quiet while we enjoy the food. I soon notice that next to the large variety of juices and sugary drinks that we get every dinner, Butterbeers are available as well; however, for the younger students, the drink magically evaporates when they try to take a sip, resulting in a lot of disappointed faces. The main course disappears after a while, and next the table is filled with all sorts of candy, cookies, cakes, pies, and more sweetness. In front of me is a basket full of star-shaped candy, which seems to sparkle in the low light. “What are those?” I ask curiously, and my teammates all enthusiastically encourage me to eat one. “You should really try one of these,” Yeonjun agrees, and he takes out a pink coloured one and holds it in front of me. “I can eat myself you know,” I say sarcastically, upon which Yeonjun teasingly moves it around. I can hear my teammates giggle at our little display, so I just give in and let Yeonjun feed me. “Oh!” The candy catches me by surprise; this is some next-level popping candy! My teammates laugh at my amazed face, and Yeonjun asks: “How is it?” “Delicious,” I have to admit, still savouring the taste. He looks satisfied as he coos: “I knew you’d like that flavour.” “Oh, stop it please, you guys are worse than Lisa and Tate,” our teammate in front of us complains. “Look who’s talking, like you and Mary are any better,” the girl next to me jokes. “Oh, really? Who kept falling of her broom during practice last year to catch a certain person’s attention?” he bounces back. The argument goes on, and I suddenly realise that Yeonjun and I are surrounded by couples. This is awkward. Does the whole Quidditch team date each other or what? “Come to think of it, you and Yeonjun are the only single ones on the team, aren’t you?” My teammate Lisa just came to the same conclusion, which she just had to say out loud. “Are they, really?” someone whispers sarcastically, and people giggle, but I protest softly: “But what about Daniel and Terry?” More people giggle, and Daniel winks at me while he says: “We’re gay. I’m sorry, sweetie.” I’m glad the hall is so poorly lit, because I don’t think my cheeks have ever been as red as they are now. “Maybe you and Yeonjun should just start dating too,” Tate teases me, and the others all grin and agree. “Maybe we should,” Yeonjun suddenly says cheekily, after witnessing the whole scene in silence, which earns him enthusiastic cheers from the group. Butterflies flutter around in my stomach and my head feels light. Did he really just say that? In front of the whole team? Before the situation can escalate further, the Headmaster announces, his voice a bit unsteady, that all students up to the third year have to leave the Hallowe’en Feast, upon which a lot of protests are heard. “That’s my cue,” Yeonjun says as he gets up to guide the students back to the common room. “Just when it was getting interesting…” Terry complains with an evil grin. “I’ll come back as soon as these little rascals are in their beds, don’t worry,” Yeonjun jokes, and he tickles me in the neck before he leaves, giving me goose bumps and making my teammates go: “Ooohooh!” As soon as the younger students have left (Hueningkai looked very disappointed, I felt so bad for him), a band of skeletons start to play. The desserts and candies disappear, and some small snacks and more drinks come in their place. The tables shift to the side to make room for a small dance floor, and the students get up and mix, some moving to the improvised dance floor, others forming groups and chatting while enjoying some drinks. Feeling like I need some air, I say goodbye to my teammates and go over to Soobin, Beomgyu and Taehyun, who are waving at me to join them. “괜찮아, noona? You seem a little flushed.” Why does Taehyun always have such a sharp eye? “Maybe noona had a little too much Butterbeer,” Beomgyu giggles. I’m more worried that _he_ had a little too much Butterbeer. We chat and laugh and have some more Butterbeers, though I make sure Beomgyu doesn’t drink too many. Soobin starts feeding me some snacks, which gives me nervous flashbacks to when Yeonjun did the same with the popping star-candy, while Beomgyu and Taehyun have a little competition to see who is the best at catching popcorn out of the air. “Are you enjoying yourself, noona?” Soobin asks me with a dimply smile. I nod; Hogwarts’ Hallowe’en parties really are fun. Then Beomgyu suddenly takes my arm and declares, his lisp even more pronounced now he’s a little tipsy: “Noona, noona, I desperately need your help.” “What is it, Beomgyu-ssi?” I ask him, and after giggling about me calling him Beomgyu-ssi, he says in one breath: “I need you to help me make this girl that I like jealous so she will stop ignoring me and give me attention.” “Who can ignore your handsome face?” I joke, and I pinch his cheeks. “That isn’t too hard, I manage to every day,” Taehyun teases, but Beomgyu doesn’t even hear it. “Come noona, we need to get close to her and then we can make her jealous,” he slurs, and he tries to get me up, which he fails to completely. “And how is noona supposed to make her jealous?” Soobin asks Beomgyu amused. Beomgyu drops my arm and looks confused. “I don’t know,” he says, making a face like he is trying to solve some difficult exam question. “Maybe we can make out?” I choke on my drink and Taehyun and Soobin laugh at me. “Alright, come on, let’s go get the girl you really want, you 바보,” Soobin says as he leads Beomgyu away, while Beomgyu yells: “But I don’t want to make out with _you_ , hyung!” Relieved, I say: “Well I’m glad Soobin saved me from that one.” Taehyun chuckles. “I was actually really enjoying that, noona.” I slap him playfully, and then Taehyun goes on, looking a little cheeky: “But Soobin-hyung does that more often, right, save you from situations and stuff.” I nod, not seeing where he is trying to go to with this. “Yeah, true, I really couldn’t wish for a better friend.” “Friend, huh? Is that so?” He raises his eyebrows at me as he takes a sip, and I give him a slight push and say: “What do you mean by that, Taehyunie?” “Oh nothing, it’s more that Soobin and you are really close for just being friends.” “We’ve been friends for quite a while already.” “True. But be careful with Soobin, especially since I noticed earlier you’re getting very close with Yeonjun too.” I almost choke on my drink again and Taehyun laughs at me. “I’m sure it’s all innocent skinship,” I say, but I’m not that confident anymore. “Is it?” Taehyun gives me a devilish smile. “Oh, shut up. I wish there was someone you liked, so I could tease you back with that.” Taehyun suddenly becomes very quiet. Hold on… I turn to him, and he is slowly starting to blush. Okay, now it’s _my_ turn to smile. “Wait, you _do_ like someone?” Taehyun avoids my eyes, and I know enough. “Oh my god, who is she? Do I know her? Is she here?” I look around to see if I can find any Ravenclaws near, but Taehyun just whispers quietly: “ _He_ is not here, actually.” He? “Oh, I’m sorry I assumed it was – ” “No, no, I would’ve assumed the same.” I move in a little closer to Taehyun, grinning from ear to ear. “So, tell me, Tae. Do I know him?” He’s about to say something, but then Soobin returns. Ah, the timing couldn’t have been worse. Soobin immediately starts relaying to us how he pushed Beomgyu to talk to the girl he liked. We all look over to the other side of the room. Beomgyu is standing real close to some pretty girl, so it seems like his quest was successful. I quickly forget my conversation with Taehyun and we all continue to enjoy the party. Some third year students try to sneak back in, but just after they are congratulated upon their return by some of the (seemingly drunk) professors, the Prefects burst in and chase them back to the common rooms. I feel myself slowly getting sleepy. I lay my head on Soobin’s shoulder, which is remarkable comfortable, and Taehyun starts yawning too. I notice that the party is slowly dying. People are sitting down while looking tired, have fallen asleep in the weirdest positions, or are dragging themselves to bed. Taehyun gets up and says he’s going to sleep, and Soobin and I wave him goodbye. “Hogwarts really knows how to throw a Hallowe’en party,” I say while I yawn, feeling drowsy but content, and Soobin smiles. “Are you a little sleepy, noona?” he coos, and he boops my nose. “하지마,” I pout, hiding my face in his chest. He chuckles cutely, unconsciously making me smile as well. We just sit there for a while, Soobin quietly plays with my hair, and I slowly fall asleep. “Alright, time for bed you,” he says softly, and he attempts to get me up. “Five more minutes,” I mumble, only half aware of my surroundings. Somehow, Soobin manages to get me on his back, and carries me to the Slytherin common room. I think I’ve actually fallen asleep somewhere on the way, because we arrive at the entrance before I know it. “I can’t come in with you, noona. You’ll have to take the last few steps by yourself.” “Okay,” I say, half asleep while standing up. “Be careful on the stairs.” “I will,” I assure him, as I try to remember the password. “Noona?” Soobin takes my hand to stop me as I attempt to go down the stairs. “Hm?” “Sleep tight,” he says as he gives me a small kiss on my head. “Sleep tight, Soobinie,” I mumble back, squeezing his hand softly, but barely registering his little kiss, and then I stumble down the stairs. I manage to drag myself to bed and almost fall asleep. _Almost._ Suddenly it hits me, and my eyes open wide while I gasp. Wait a fucking minute. Did Soobin… just… kiss me? I hear Taehyun’s voice in my head. _Friend, huh? Is that so?_ I hide my face in my pillow to stop myself from screaming. _I’m sure it’s all innocent skinship_. Right?


	8. Make room for me / 비워 내 자리

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "As soon as I mention his name, I feel Soobin tighten up beside me, while Taehyun’s arm drops off my shoulder, and Beomgyu’s face clouds over. Hueningkai looks confused because of the sudden mood change, and, starting to feel really frustrated, I say: “Will one of you guys please tell me what the hell happened between you and Yeonjun? I am getting a little tired of this.” They look at each other, hesitating, and after a short moment of silence, Soobin begins to explain. I silently process everything, feeling upset and confused. This doesn’t sound like the Yeonjun I know at all…"
> 
> \- Why are sweaters that boys (forcefully) give to you always so warm and comfortable?  
> \- You finally find out what happened between Yeonjun and the others, but it only raises more questions.  
> \- Soobin makes your heart go boom boom. Again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for chapter eight, yaaay!  
> Heads up, this is a long one, sorry >_<  
> But I really felt like I couldn't break it into two chapters, it would have messed up the flow.  
> Sooo, get comfortable, put on a cozy blanket or something and settle in to read this chapter, teehee >.^  
> I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> 안녕 - Hello
> 
> ~

I’m starting to think I imagined the little kiss Soobin gave me, because the next couple of days he doesn’t act any different than normal. So I push the memory away, and pretty soon I feel at ease with him again, he being my safe haven here in hectic Hogwarts. With the start of November, the days are really getting darker and it’s becoming more and more cold. I wrote my parents and asked them to send me some of my more comfier sweaters, but of course it takes them forever to reply. So I start feeling like a walking snowman when we are making our way through an icy cold Hogsmeade. “Is there a bookshop around here?” I ask the guys, while trying my utmost best not to stutter because of the cold, and they immediately take me to a place called 'Tomes and Scrolls', which looks like it should have the book on Potions that I wanted to get (Soobin and I have been performing so poorly in Potions class that I feel we could use some extra knowledge). I urge the others to move on and already get us a table at the Three Broomsticks, since I don’t expect it to take very long to get the book and probably a lot of other students will be looking up the warmth and comfort of the pub. When I enter the shop, my eyes grow wide as I see the amount of books that are on display. I have always loved to read; my eyesight actually turned really bad because my nose was constantly in some stuffy book. I comfortably stroll around the sections, forgetting my promise to the boys to be quick, while I read some titles and marvel at the great variety of books available. It’s also really nice and warm in here, so I secretly don’t mind staying a little bit longer to warm up. I’m so caught up in the scenery that I only notice Yeonjun when I literally bump into him. “You should really watch where you going, baby,” he says with a smile; his hand lingers on my back after he prevented me from falling, making me just a tad nervous. “Looking for something in particular?” “Actually, yes, I’m looking for a book on Potions.” “Potions? What are you doing in this section then?” he laughs. I look at the section sign, which says 'Quidditch'; no wonder Yeonjun was here. “I just got… distracted.” “Come on, I’ll take you to the right place.” Yeonjun takes my hand and is about to lead me there, but he suddenly stops and exclaims surprised: “Wow, your hands are cold as ice!” “My parents haven’t sent me all my winter stuff yet,” I say, feeling a bit embarrassed. “Oh, wait, I might have something for you.” He opens his bag and pulls out an emerald green, knitted sweater with a large, grey ‘Y’ on it. “My grandmother sent me this, I just picked it up today. You can put it on for now, and give it back when your stuff arrives.” “Oh no, it’s okay, really,” I refuse his offer quickly. I can’t walk around in a sweater with a big, fat ‘Y’ on it. He already calls me baby, what will people think when they see me wearing this? It basically says ‘property of Choi Yeonjun’. “I won’t let you walk around in the cold like that,” he pouts, and he is already trying to take my coat off to put on the sweater, which reminds me of Soobin’s efforts to put his sweater on me all those weeks ago. I was okay with that, I mean, that was just skinship, right? Why does this feel different? Or isn’t it different at all, and was Soobin actually… Before I know it, I’m again wearing an oversized but super comfy sweater. I immediately feel better, so I reluctantly thank Yeonjun, who looks very content and drags me to the Potions section. “Here you go. By the way, are you here all alone?” “No, I was with other Koreans, but they already went to the pub.” “Oh, I see.” Yeonjun looks a little sad, but before I can ask him anything, he is called by some of the other sixth-year Slytherins who are about to leave the shop. “See you tomorrow at Quidditch practice!” He waves and I’m left alone with my thoughts, again looking for some book, while wearing a boy’s sweater.

Shortly after, I find the book I need, quickly make my purchase and hurry to the Three Broomsticks. When I enter, I see Yeonjun sitting at a table with our fellow Slytherins. He doesn’t notice me though, so I swiftly make my way over to the Korean boys before he does. “Ah, there you are, noona. We were getting kind of worried,” Hueningkai says jokingly, and I make a funny face at him before I sit down in between Taehyun and Soobin. “Did you get lost in the big book store?” Taehyun asks me in a belittling tone, and he squeezes my cheek before putting his arm around me. “Maybe,” I admit in a quiet voice, and the boys all chuckle. “We already got you a nice warm drink. You seemed a bit cold,” Beomgyu says as he hands me a hot chocolate. “Aw, that’s very sweet, thank you,” I say, and I take of my coat. “Oh? Were you already wearing that sweater back at the castle, noona?” Taehyun asks confused. That boy, seriously, why does he notice every little detail? “Uh, no, actually. I was given that just now at the book store by Yeonjun,” I say carefully. As soon as I mention his name, I feel Soobin tighten up beside me, while Taehyun’s arm drops off my shoulder, and Beomgyu’s face clouds over. Hueningkai looks confused because of the sudden mood change (he probably doesn’t even know who Yeonjun is). Starting to feel really frustrated, I say: “Will one of you guys please tell me what the hell happened between you and Yeonjun? I am getting a little tired of this.” They look at each other, hesitating, and after a short moment of silence, Soobin begins to explain: “It happened about, let me think, around one and a half year ago. We used to be friends with Yeonjun, but one evening, Beomgyu…” I look at Beomgyu, who bites his lip and looks away. “He got tricked by some Slytherin seniors and they were bullying him, right in the courtyard for everyone to see. Yeonjun happened to be there, but instead of helping Beomgyu, he just… stood there.” I get an unpleasant feeling in my stomach as I hear this information. This doesn’t sound like the Yeonjun I know at all… “I confronted him about it later, but he just put up some lame excuse, so we had quite the argument.” “You should have seen it, noona,” Taehyun says quietly. “Half the school was watching them fight about it, of course they couldn’t understand a thing because they were cursing at each other in Korean. It got so bad that the professors had to pull them apart.” Soobin’s ears turn red out of embarrassment, and he quickly says: “After that, we kind of just stopped hanging out. He never apologised to Beomgyu, so we never forgave him for what he did.” I silently process everything, feeling upset and confused. Was Yeonjun being a coward, too afraid to help out his friend in the face of his senior Slytherins? And Soobin arguing with him in front of everyone, it’s hard to imagine him heated up when he is so gentle by nature… “Make room for me,” I say to Soobin as I get up, who moves over to my other side so I can sit next to Beomgyu. I take his hand and squeeze it softly to cheer him up, and Beomgyu gives me a weak smile. But before I can say anything, we suddenly hear a soft sniffle, the sound coming from Hueningkai’s direction. With tears glistening in his eyes, he says in a tiny voice: “I’m so sorry for you, hyung.” I realise that he is probably reacting like this because he has been bullied himself. We are all touched by our maeknae’s sincere affection, and Taehyun puts his arm around him tightly to comfort him. I look over to the Slytherin table, and stare at Yeonjun, deep in thought. Why didn’t he help out Beomgyu when he needed him most?

I am still fretting about the whole incident between my friends and Yeonjun the next day at Quidditch practice, and I totally mess up during the training, making one mistake after the other. I keep apologising to my teammates, making up the excuse that I didn’t sleep well last night. They all respond very kind, graciously acknowledging that everyone can have an off-day every now and then. Yeonjun doesn’t buy it though, and before I can flee the field after the training, he stops me, saying: “Hold up, not so fast you.” He waits until we are alone, holding onto my arm, and I can feel the other teammates staring at us amused and whispering to each other when they leave. Guess they haven’t forgotten about the things that were said at the Hallowe’en Feast, unfortunately. He then asks: “What’s up with you today? You seem to be distracted.” I again tell him the bad night’s sleep-excuse, but he rolls his eyes and says: “Stop the excuses and please tell me what is really bothering you.” His tone sounds harsh, but his eyes look worried, like his trying to act tough but actually is really concerned. I know I can’t go on like this, feeling torn between my friends, and so I tell him: “You better sit down for this.” He raises his eyebrows, but does as he is told, and with a sigh I sit down next to him. “You know I am friends with the other Koreans… Soobin, Taehyun and Beomgyu,” I begin carefully. “I wondered why you didn’t hang out with them, and when I asked them about it…“ “They told you what happened,” he says, and I nod silently. He lets out a deep sigh, and says: “It was only a matter of time, I guess. But, let me at least tell you my side of the story before you judge me.” He stares at the ground, looking sad. “I don’t know exactly what they told you, but yes, I happened to be present when some seventh-year Slytherins were bullying Beomgyu quite harshly in the courtyard. At first I didn’t realise it was him, because he was hanging upside down in the air, but then he saw me and cried for my help. The way he screamed ‘Hyung!’, his voice full of fear, it still haunts me. But I just… completely froze. I am an only child you see, and I never had to defend younger siblings against bullies. And there was Beomgyu, who felt like… felt like a younger brother to me, reaching out for my help. But I only had eyes for the intimidating seventh-years, ready to kick my fourth-year butt.” His fists are clenched, his knuckles turning white, like he is still angry with himself. “Quickly after, some professors arrived and Beomgyu was released, and I finally came to my senses and rushed to him. But the harm had already been done, I will never forget the way he looked at me. My actions were unforgivable, of course, and when Soobin confronted me about it later I didn’t know how to react, didn’t know what to say. I had no excuse for what I did, or rather what I didn’t do. He mistook my silence for apathy and got mad at me, which I can’t really blame him for. It took me some time to become brave enough to apologise, but I guess that wasn’t enough for them, which I understand.” Wait, what? He _did_ apologise? That’s not what Soobin told me… “Wait, you say you apologised?” I ask him, and he looks at me confused. “Of course! I mean it took me some time, and the academic year had already ended so I had to send him a letter, but it was quite a lengthy one, if I may say so myself, because I poured my heart out in it.” He blushes a little out of embarrassment by his last words, but my heart jumps up as I realise where it all went wrong. “But Beomgyu never got your letter! Soobin told me you never apologised, and that’s why they didn’t forgive you, but you did. We can make this right!” Yeonjun’s face clears up, looking tremendously relieved, and then he smirks, saying cheekily: “‘We’? You sure are very eager to help me out with this.” I blush as I didn’t even realise I put myself on his side, but then he takes my hands and says with a serious expression: “But I would really like that. To make it right.” I can see that he has been suffering because of the whole situation, and I feel for him. He never intended to hurt Beomgyu, and he obviously deeply regrets it. I nod and squeeze his hands in encouragement. “Then we’ll do just that.”

I am probably feeling more nervous than Yeonjun when I arrive at the Three Broomsticks with the others the next weekend. I look around to find him, but I don’t see him anywhere. He didn’t back out, did he…? “Who are you looking for, noona? You seem a little tense,” Soobin asks me, and he carefully rubs my neck with one hand to relax my strained muscles. It actually feels kind of nice, I didn’t realise my neck was so tense, so I just let him as I say: “Oh, no one in particular…” And then I see Yeonjun approaching, looking a bit nervous, which is a first. I smile at him encouragingly, and his face clears up, seeming a bit more determined now. The guys only notice him when he stops at our table. “안녕, would you mind if I join you?” he says carefully. Taehyun’s jaw drops, Beomgyu looks away and Soobin gives him a cold stare. Hueningkai just looks confused from one side to the other, not understanding what is going on. “Of course. Come on guys, make room for him,” I say, and Yeonjun pulls up a chair. Hueningkai generously moves aside, but the others stay still. “I am sorry, but why are you here?” Soobin asks, a bit rude. “Soobinie, be nice. He’s just trying to make amends,” I whisper, and I try to make him relax by rubbing his arm. “Wait, you’re behind this?” he says, and he pushes my hand away, looking a bit hurt, like I went behind his back. Which, of course, I basically did. “She is just trying to help me,” Yeonjun says in my defence, overhearing our conversation. “Please hear me out.” A bit reluctantly, the others listen to what Yeonjun has to say (Hueningkai just looks at everyone with big eyes, like he is watching some thrilling movie), and I must say, even I am touched by his words. His heartfelt apology melts the cold attitude of the others, perhaps also a bit influenced by his natural charms, and I can feel them relax a little bit more when he is done talking, which took quite some time actually. “I am not sure if this is enough for you to trust me again, and I don’t expect you to forgive me right now. But I hope you accept my apology,” he ends his plea, and he gets up to leave. But before he can do so, Beomgyu gets up too, walks over to him and gives him a hug. Yeonjun freezes, obviously not expecting this reaction at all. “I forgive you, hyung,” Beomgyu says. I guess Beomgyu hasn’t forgotten that Yeonjun was protecting him from the rogue Quidditch balls those weeks ago; that time, he _did_ have the strength to defend his dongsaeng. I can swear Yeonjun’s eyes are glistening with tears just a little bit. He then bids us goodbye, saying he’s got some other things to attend to, and I watch him go. Did he just get a little taller? It seems like a heavy weight has been lifted off his shoulders. “Whew, that was _intense_ ,” Hueningkai says, startling me a little bit; I totally forgot he was here too. “I’m getting some more drinks,” Taehyun says while he gets up, and Hueningkai offers to join him. Beomgyu leaves for the washroom, and I end up alone with Soobin. I’m afraid he is still upset with me for arranging all this behind their backs, so I am avoiding his eyes, but he softly touches my cheek, turns my face to him and says: “I’m sorry for my reaction earlier. You did the right thing.” I can feel my face burning, but he doesn’t seem to notice at all. He softly strokes my cheek with his thumb, gazing into my eyes, making it hard for me to look away. Okay, this is definitely moving beyond skinship now. “I’m just glad you guys made up,” I manage to say, my heart pounding wildly. He smiles at me, his dimples burning a hole in my heart. “Me too,” he says, and then he finally let’s go.


	9. 말해줘, what should I choose?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I notice Beomgyu, Taehyun and Hueningkai staring at me expectantly, all with equally cheeky expressions on their faces; for some reason, they have completely forgotten about their study books. I have a suspicion about why they are looking at me like that, and I am starting to feel nervous already. “What?” I ask them. “So, noona, tell us,” Taehyun says with a devilish grin. “What has been going on between you and Soobin and Yeonjun?” Oh no. They totally all know what is going on (just how obvious is it?!), and I am so not ready for it. “You don’t know who you like yet, do you?” Beomgyu asks me, noticing my despair. I put my head in my hands and groan: "Ugh, can’t you just tell me what I should choose?” "
> 
> \- Soobin or Yeonjun...? The struggle is real.  
> \- Sitting in between your two crushes is never a good idea.  
> \- Now Beomgyu and Hueningkai are onto you as well. Oh oh.  
> \- You find out who Taehyun likes, and more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for chapter nine whoooo! ^.^  
> This is a little build-up chapter for the coming ones, and they.will.be.amazing. ~(>3<)~  
> Can't wait to share the next chapters with you waaaah ~  
> Side note: I'm probably going to open a twitter account for my AU's soon, because I have two other stories coming up (and like five prompts which I still have to write out) and I would love to reach more MOAs \\(^.^)/ So my username will probably change, don't be alarmed >.^
> 
> As always, I hope you enjoy it, and thank you for reading my story ^3^
> 
> Translations:
> 
> 말해줘 - Tell me (it's in the title teehee)  
> 미안해요 - I'm sorry (formal)
> 
> ~

Can you have feelings for two persons at the same time? Because I’m pretty sure something like that is happening to me right now. I can’t stop thinking about what Soobin did after the Hallowe’en Feast and at the Three Broomsticks last weekend. I’m now fully convinced that he really did kiss me on my head that night after Hallowe’en, and the way he held my face when we were in the pub… Just thinking about how he looked at me makes my cheeks burn. There is also a very slight but noticeable change in how he behaves around me: he sits just a little closer, holds my gaze just a little longer… But at the same time, whenever I have thoughts like this, Yeonjun keeps popping up in my head as well. He has always been flirty with me, and even though he made me feel uncomfortable sometimes, I’m starting to think that maybe I secretly also kind of liked getting his attention. I can’t forget how he agreed so casually when my teammate said that maybe we just should start dating, and he also keeps calling me baby, even though I asked him repeatedly not to. I’m slowly starting to like my nickname, but I am at the same time deadly afraid that he will call me that in front of Soobin... My mind just keeps going back and forth like that, and it’s driving me crazy. Who should I choose? Do I even want to choose any of the two? I just can’t make up my mind right now. So I decide not to, and just let it be. For now. Because I know it’s dangerous to keep this going for too long.

“What do you mean, cancelled?” Yeonjun looks incredulously at the professor who doubles as the Quidditch referee, like he doesn’t understand (or doesn’t want to understand) what she just said. I am having breakfast together with the Slytherin team, and we were all prepped up for our game today, of which we have just been notified that it won’t go on. “…Professor,” he quickly adds when he receives a stern look because of his informal words. “It is not _cancelled_ , Mr Choi, just postponed to tomorrow. There is a storm coming, and we won’t risk the well-being of our students again after the match of Gryffindor against Hufflepuff last week.” A shiver runs down my spine; I remember that game all too well. In the middle of the match, a heavy storm unleashed a downpour of rain onto the field, and in the chaos that followed several players got injured, because they could hardly see a thing. It was a miracle that the Snitch was even caught. I was just so glad that Hueningkai and especially Beomgyu got out of that game without a scratch. “What storm?” he mumbles hardly audible, looking at the enchanted ceiling. The sky isn’t exactly blue, only some small clouds are visible, so it doesn’t seem too bad. But exactly at that moment, a loud thunder shakes the castle, and I can tell it startled a lot of people by the sounds of the clattering cutlery and glasses being knocked over. “ _That_ storm, Mr Choi. I see you all tomorrow, at the same time,” the professor says, and we thank her as she walks away. “Well, that sucks,” one of my teammates mumbles, and we continue our breakfast in silence, feeling a bit grumpy because we were all looking forward to play. After we are finished, we get up to return to the common room, but someone stops me by grabbing my hand. “Noona, wait a minute.” “Oh, Beomgyu! What brings you here?” It is not often that a Gryffindor is seen so close to the Slytherin table, and my teammates look at him suspiciously, but Yeonjun assures them that it is fine, and they move on. “I just heard your match is postponed. Sorry about that.” “Yeah, I know, but to be honest, I wasn’t looking forward to play in heavy weather.” Beomgyu flinches, probably haunted by memories from last week, and he nods in agreement. “No, you really shouldn’t play in those conditions. But anyway, since there is no game today, Soobin-hyung, Tae, Hyuka and I thought it might be a good idea to do some extra studying for the upcoming exams.” In December, just before the Christmas break, we have a couple of exams, and I probably haven’t been studying as hard for them as I should have been. “Would you like to join us?” “I think that might be a wise decision,” I say, and Beomgyu chuckles. He then carefully looks at Yeonjun, who is waiting for me to finish my conversation, and then he asks, a bit hesitantly: “Hyung, would you like to join us for studying as well?” Yeonjun looks surprised for a moment, but he soon smooths his expression with a smile, and says: “Well, I’ve got nothing planned this afternoon now that the game is postponed, so sure, I’ll join you.” Beomgyu smiles shyly. “Okay, we’ll meet you in the library at two!” He waves at us as he walks back to the Gryffindor table. “Let’s go to the common room,” Yeonjun says, and he cheerfully puts his arm around my shoulders as we leave the Great Hall. Seeing him so happy makes me very glad that I forced the guys to make amends.

When we arrive at the library that afternoon, the others seem surprised that Yeonjun joined as well. Beomgyu looks embarrassed as he explains he forgot to tell the others that Yeonjun was coming too. “I only saved noona a seat,” Soobin says. “미안해요.” “That’s no problem, I’ll go find a chair,” Yeonjun replies calmly, and he walks away scanning for a free chair as I sit down next to Soobin, wondering if he really feels sorry for not reserving an extra seat. Yeonjun soon returns with a chair, and smoothly puts it down next to mine. Wonderful, now I am sitting in between the two guys I kind of like. I feel anxious already. The thunder crashes outside the castle ominously, as if even the weather knows the tension is rising. Soobin and I start on our worst subject, which is of course Potions, while Yeonjun is soon fully immersed in his notes on Defence Against the Dark Arts. Beomgyu quickly loses his focus, not surprisingly, and leaves to get us some warm drinks. Hueningkai keeps asking Taehyun questions about Herbology, which is odd, because I know Herbology is Hueningkai’s best subject. Even so, Taehyun patiently answers all his questions, while Hueningkai eagerly scribbles everything down in his notebook. I’m starting to think that maybe I was mistaken, and Herbology is actually _Taehyun’s_ best subject, because Hueningkai hardly misses a word he says. Beomgyu returns with our drinks, and I am happy to take a small break from our struggle with Potions. “Let’s continue with Potions some other time, I really don’t feel like breaking our minds over this now,” I say a bit discouraged. “Still struggling with Potions?” Yeonjun asks me. I nod silently, regretting more and more every day that I chose this subject. “Even after you got that extra study book?” Soobin looks up, surprised by Yeonjun’s words. “How do you know noona got us an extra book?” he asks him. “I met him in the book store when I bought it,” I tell him before Yeonjun comes up with some clever answer. “You know, that day I … uh, when he also gave me that sweater.” I was going to say ‘that day I made you tell me what happened between you guys’, but I managed to change my sentence before I made things awkward. “You still haven’t returned that sweater, by the way,” Yeonjun says with a pout, but he grins as he continues: “But you can keep it if you like it, it’s fine.” “No, no, I’ll return it,” I say quickly. I can feel Soobin tighten up slightly besides me, as if he doesn’t like the fact that I still have Yeonjun’s sweater. Which is probably the case. But I honestly just forgot about it… “Anyway, if you need any help with Potions, I aced my O.W.L.s on that subject last year, so I’ll be happy to help you out.” Before I can even open my mouth, Soobin says, looking friendly, but his voice having a slightly cold tone: “Noona and I were actually doing quite alright with the extra book she got us. But thank you for the offer, we’ll let you know if we need any help.” I notice he keeps referring to us as ‘we’ or 'us', like we are together somehow. Yeonjun smiles, like he is amusing himself with their little stand-off, and says cheekily: “Okay, no worries.” He then bends over closer to me and says: “In the case you do need some extra help, just come find me in our common room,” while putting extra emphasis on ‘our’. He then returns to his notes, and Soobin relaxes a little bit. I suddenly notice that the other three boys are all staring at us. Even Hueningkai forgot his endless list of questions on Herbology. As soon as they see me staring back at them, though, they all quickly look away, pretending to be caught up in their studying as well. I just pray they didn’t fully grasp what is going on here.

I am starting to think my prayers have been in vain when I again notice Beomgyu, Taehyun and Hueningkai looking at me a little while later, all with equally cheeky expressions on their faces. After actually doing some studying for a change, Yeonjun and Soobin unexpectedly had to leave: Yeonjun was called away by a Ravenclaw Prefect because apparently some fourth-year Slytherins have been caught trying to steal exams; Soobin seemed very pleased that Yeonjun left, but unfortunately for him, that didn’t last very long, as he had to leave just a few minutes later to take care of his family owl, which was hurt in the storm while delivering ‘something’ (he was very reluctant to tell us what exactly). Now I am left with the other three boys, who all completely forgot about their studying and stare at me expectantly. “What?” I ask them, starting to feel nervous. “So, noona, tell us,” Taehyun says with a devilish grin. “What has been going on between you and Soobin and Yeonjun in your little love triangle?” “Love triangle?! Ya, do you want to be cursed?” I pretend to slap him, but he doesn’t even blink. “You and Yeonjun would make _such_ a good couple!” Hueningkai chimes in, his eyes looking dreamy, like he already sees me walking down the aisle. “No, noona should go for Soobin! Isn’t it romantic if her childhood friend would become her true love?” Beomgyu says enthusiastically. “Ya, ya, ya, hold your horses everyone, please!” I feel I’m starting to panic. They all totally know what is going on (just how obvious is it?!), and I am so not ready for it. I haven’t even made up my mind yet, and now it feels like I’m forced to make a decision. Beomgyu seems to notice my despair and says: “You don’t know who you like yet, do you?” I put my head in my hands and groan. Might as well confess now. “No… I feel like I’m losing it. One minute I kind of like Soobin, the next I think I have feelings for Yeonjun. It’s so confusing, I totally hate it.” They are silent for a minute, then Hueningkai starts rubbing my belly soothingly and says: “I’m sorry noona, I didn’t know it was that bad. You don’t have to decide right now.” “But I have to someday. Ugh, can’t you just tell me what I should choose?” Hueningkai shrugs, like he doesn’t know either. “Oh, but you don’t have to choose anytime soon, noona. This is all quite entertaining, I must say,” Taehyun grins. This boy, seriously. “Why don’t you make it entertaining for me too and just tell us who _you_ like, Taehyun?” I snap, and Taehyun immediately blushes. “Taehyun has a crush? Who is it who is it who is it?” Beomgyu says in one breath while flapping his hands in excitement. “Do we know this person?” Hueningkai asks, and he looks at Taehyun curiously. No wait, not curiously… It’s something else, but I can’t put my finger on it. Taehyun totally lost his cool and stutters: “Well, uhm, y-you guys don’t know him.” Beomgyu almost loses his mind when he hears the word ‘him’, unleashing a stream of further questions, but Hueningkai becomes quiet, and then it hits me. He didn’t look curious before, he looked _hopeful._ And now… now he seems _disappointed_?! Hold on, does Hueningkai like Taehyun? That would explain the endless questions on Herbology. Speaking of which… Taehyun didn’t really mind all the questions, he was so patient with Hueningkai, while usually… Wait a fucking minute. _He is not here, actually_ , I recall Taehyun’s words at the Hallowe’en Feast _._ Didn’t Hueningkai just leave the feast when Taehyun said this? The pieces of the puzzle start falling in place and I can barely hold my excitement. “Never mind, it’s getting late guys, we should go back to our common rooms and get ready for dinner,” Taehyun diverts the attention, and we get up to leave. As we walk down the hallways, I slow my pace and take Taehyun’s hand, making sure Beomgyu and Hueningkai are a few steps in front of us, and then I whisper to him: “You like Hyuka, don’t you?” He immediately turns to me, his eyes even bigger than normal, and whispers back: “How did you figure that out?” “I’ve never seen you answer an endless stream of Herbology questions so patiently. Which is, by the way, Hyuka’s best subject.” “It is?” Taehyun says confused, and I nod forcefully. But then he shakes his head. “Anyway, that doesn’t matter now, I just said you guys don’t know my crush, so I basically screwed up already,” he mumbles gloomy, and he says goodbye to me sadly as he makes his way up to the Ravenclaw tower. As I look at his hanging shoulders, I swear to myself to find out if my gut feeling is true: that Hueningkai likes him too. Which will be a tremendously difficult task, since Hueningkai is the shiest person I know.


	10. Don’t forget, forever / 잊지 말아줘 영원히

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The lights are switched on and I hear my friends yell: "Happy birthday noona!" I find myself in an old, tiny lecture room, which the guys (who are all wearing party hats) have transformed with festive decorations. I open their presents one by one; Soobin's gift is last, and when I open it, I find myself having trouble to keep my eyes dry. "Do you remember, noona?" he asks with a dimply smile. I am struggling to find my words, feeling touched and flustered at the same time. “I do… I can’t believe you’ve kept it all this time..." "Allow me," Soobin asks and he takes the gift out of my hands, taking a step closer. I see the other boys look at each other while smirking, but I ignore them. “Hyung is lucky Yeonjun isn’t here,” Taehyun whispers barely audible, while Beomgyu and Hueningkai giggle." 
> 
> \- It's your birthday! And Beomgyu makes sure everyone knows.  
> \- Soobin got you the sweetest gift ever...  
> \- ...while Yeonjun's present gives you much to think about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter ten is up, yaaaay! ~(^.^)~  
> I've been eager to share this one with you as soon as I wrote it waaah.  
> I hope you'll love it ~~  
> Side note: like I said I would last week, I made a twitter account. If you would like to, you can follow me @delugyufortxt ; I love to interact with fellow MOAs, we can be friends >3<  
> Plus I'll be starting with uploading my other story soon too!!
> 
> Okay, enough talking, I hope you enjoy this chapter and thank you!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> 고마워 - Thanks
> 
> ~

My birthday is coming up, and I am absolutely _not_ looking forward to it. Normally I would enjoy it, but with everything that is going on lately, this whole tug of war on my heart, I don’t feel like getting even more attention from either of the two boys. So I don’t mention it to anyone, and hope it will silently pass by. But my hope is already smashed to bits when I enter the Great Hall this Friday morning and a green-haired Beomgyu crashes into me, lifts me up and twirls me around, while yelling loudly: “Happy birthday, noona!” Fantastic, now the whole castle knows it’s my birthday. “고마워, Beomgyu,” I say quietly, feeling a bit embarrassed as we receive some curious looks. “Do you like it?” Beomgyu looks at me expectantly. “Like what…?” “My hair! It’s green, just for you! Soobin-hyung said green is your favourite colour!” He remembered that? After all those years? “Anyway, this is not your actual present of course, you'll be getting that tonight at your surprise -” Beomgyu quickly covers his mouth with his hand, but he already spilled the beans. “You’re not telling me you guys are throwing me a surprise party, are you?” Beomgyu anxiously looks around, trying to find an escape, but I grab his collar and pull him close, threatening to curse him if he doesn’t answer my question. “You told her already?!” Taehyun’s voice suddenly snaps. He arrives together with Hueningkai (he ignores me as I try to catch his gaze, smirking about them arriving together) and he stares annoyed at Beomgyu, who has a guilty look on his face. “It was an accident!” “Sure it was.” While Beomgyu and Taehyun bicker, Hueningkai congratulates me with my birthday. “They sure love to have arguments, don’t they?” Hueningkai wonders, and we chuckle while we look at them. I glance at Hueningkai; his eyes are glued to Taehyun, as if he sees his whole world before him. If this kid doesn’t have a crush on Taehyun, I’ll eat my wand, I swear. “Enough fighting guys, we have some things to discuss for our not-such-a-surprise-anymore party,” he says. He takes them both by the arm to lead them away, though Taehyun quickly hurries back to me as he realises he hasn’t congratulated me yet. “Bye noona, see you tonight!” he shouts after wishing me a happy birthday, already forgetting that it was supposed to be a surprise and he just scolded Beomgyu for spilling it. I let out a deep sigh as I move towards the Slytherin table for my breakfast, trying to figure out how I can lock myself in my room for the rest of the day.

“Is this really necessary?” “We’re almost there, noona.” “Well, it would be nice to actually _see_ where ‘there’ is, you know.” “Well, the whole party was supposed to be a surprise, you know.” “I’ll act surprised, I promise.” “Just a few more steps, noona.” Soobin is leading me to my ‘surprise’ party, holding my hand firmly while I stumble behind him. He caught me after dinner while I was trying to sneak back to my common room, blindfolded me for added surprise-effects, and started dragging me along. I hear a door open, then voices that are being hushed (by Taehyun, unmistakably) and I trip over the doorstep before I am put to a halt by Soobin. He carefully takes off the blindfold, and then the lights are switched on while my friends all yell: “Happy birthday noona!” We are in an old, tiny lecture room, which the guys (who are all wearing party hats) have transformed into a festive setting with lots of balloons, glittery decorations, and magical confetti that after twirling down, sweeps itself up again, repeating the cycle over and over. A large birthday cake towers on a table, way too big for just the five of us, and next to it are a few presents, one wrapped more meticulously than the other, so I can already guess who brought which. Taehyun lights up the candles on the cake, and they all encourage me to blow them out and make a wish, which I do with more enthusiasm than I thought I would. Okay, maybe I like this birthday party more than I want to admit. At least it’s just the four of them, and no big crowd or something. I miss Yeonjun though; I am at the same time relieved and sad that he isn’t here. “You have to open my present first, noona!” Beomgyu shouts as he stuffs a present in my face which is wrapped in a fancy-looking paper. It is an oddly sized thing, and I soon find out why: he has given me some limited edition Ryan plushie. “For cuddles and hugs when you go to sleep,” Beomgyu says cutely. “In case Soobin-hyung isn’t around,” he adds with a smirk. It’s just loud enough for only me to hear, but I try to slap him anyway, which he smoothly avoids with a tiny giggle. Taehyun gifts me the newest book of my favourite author, and Hueningkai showers me with chocolate and made some cute, hand-written coupons for all kinds of things and activities (which often include himself too). But Soobin’s gift… It’s a small suede box, wrapped with a shiny ribbon. “I am happy it survived the flight here. Our owl nearly lost it in the storm,” Soobin admits a little embarrassed. So _that_ is why he wouldn’t want to tell us what his family owl was carrying the other day. Everyone looks at me expectantly, and I feel nervous for the first time tonight. I carefully open it, and when I see what’s inside, I immediate get a flashback to all those years ago when Soobin and I lived in South Korea.

_“Noona, noona, look what I found!” A smaller version of Soobin, with a higher pitched voice and round, puffy cheeks, hurried his way to me, full of excitement. We were at a beach with our families, but Soobin and I drifted off to explore some sea cavern we discovered. “What is it, Soobinie?” I asked him, feeling excited too as I was immediately affected by his mood; we were so in sync back then. “Look!” He stopped before me, carefully opening his hands, in which he held a small, green, seemingly heart-shaped stone. “Wooow!” I whispered in awe, immediately struck by the beauty of the gem. “It’s an emerald, I think,” Soobin pondered. “I can’t believe it looks like a heart!” I was so mesmerised by its shape. Soobin giggled, and said shyly: “It’s so pretty, just like you, noona. You should have it.” “Oh no, you found it, you should keep it!” I didn’t want to take away his treasure. He thought about it for a short moment, and then he said, with a dimply smile on his face: “All right, I’ll keep it for now. I’ll properly gift it to you, someday, when we are older, so you won’t forget about me.” I pushed him slightly and yelled, offended: “Why would I forget about you?” Soobin just laughed, and he grabbed my hand as we ran back to our parents to show them the treasure._

The others all gasp at the sight of the small gem, which has been transformed into a necklace, and Soobin looks at me intensely, but with a smile. “Do you remember, noona?” I have trouble finding my words. I am dumbfounded, touched, and flustered all at the same time. But after a short while, I recover and whisper: “I do… I can’t believe you’ve kept it all this time. This is so sweet, I can’t thank you enough.” I see the other boys look at each other while smirking, but I ignore them. This gift is really so touching, I am struggling to keep my eyes dry. “Allow me.” Soobin takes the necklace out of the box and carefully puts it around my neck. My heart was already pounding, but feels like it is about the jump out of my chest right now. The whole situation is just so intimate. “He is lucky Yeonjun-hyung isn’t here,” Taehyun whispers barely audible, and Beomgyu and Hueningkai giggle. “Where is Yeonjun, by the way? I thought we were going to ask him to come too?” Soobin asks seemingly innocent as he fixes my hair, which he had draped over my shoulder before putting on the necklace. Taehyun raises his eyebrows, obviously surprised that Soobin responded to his comment, not able to answer him immediately. “I don’t know, wasn’t Beomie-hyung supposed to ask him?” Hueningkai diverts the attention to Beomgyu, away from Taehyun. Smooth, but don’t think I didn’t notice that, Hyuka. “I _did_ ask him!” Beomgyu pouts defensively. “But he couldn’t come… some Prefect duties, he said.” “Always Prefect duties, huh?” Soobin scoffs. I can feel him tense up, so I suggest to go devour the cake, to which they all agree enthusiastically. Beomgyu pops open a few Butterbeers, which he swore he stole from the kitchens, but we all doubt that, and Hueningkai brings out a couple of party games he brought along. When I look at my dongsaengs, I feel tremendously touched that they held this not-such-a-surprise-anymore party for me. I am so lucky to have them as my friends.

It’s already way past curfew when we sneak back to our common rooms, making sure that none of the nightly residents of the castle catch us, which is quite a difficult task because we are all a bit giggly from the Butterbeers. Beomgyu’s hair colour keeps changing involuntarily, and Taehyun tripped on the stairs, half-spraining his ankle, so he is now being carried by Hueningkai to the Ravenclaw tower (I gave him a thumbs-up, but I am not sure he registered it). I arrive at the Slytherin common room unnoticed, and quietly make my way in, being careful not to trip as well as I stumble down into the dungeon. I thought I made it to my dormitory, but the next thing I realise when I wake up is that I am not lying in my bed. It takes me a few minutes to figure out where I am, but I recognize the soft leather of the common room couches and can vaguely see a dark green hue from the lake. It’s surprisingly warm and comfy though: there is still a small fire burning in the fire place, which is odd for this time at night, and I’m lying underneath a blanket. Where did that come from? “Ah, you woke up,” I hear a familiar voice chime. I look around and see Yeonjun sitting in a chair next to me, looking comfortable and relaxed while reading a book. I manage to get up, feeling confused. What is _he_ doing here? “How… Why… How did I get here?” I mumble puzzled, still a bit sleepy. “I don’t know. I guess you’ve fallen asleep on the couch on your way to the dormitory,” Yeonjun says, looking amused by my sleepiness. “Must have been quite the party for you to sneak back after curfew.” I blush when I realise he caught me red-handed. “You won’t report me to the Head of House, will you?” His laugh chimes through the room, and he winks at me before he says: “Consider it a small birthday gift.” Then his face slightly clouds over, and he scolds me with a pout: “Speaking of which, why didn’t you tell me it was your birthday today? Or rather, yesterday. I would have gotten you a proper gift. And I would have scheduled my Prefect duties some other time, so I could join your party.” “I don’t really like birthday parties,” I mumble. Yeonjun rolls his eyes. “The fact that you came back so late says otherwise.” Okay, I don’t have a reply to that. “What are you doing here then?” I ask him, trying to change topic. “I couldn’t sleep, so I was reading my book in the dorm, when I suddenly heard some noise coming from here. When I came down to check on it, I saw you lying here on the couch, passed out. So I tried to carry you to bed, but the stairs to the girls’ dormitories are bewitched to prevent boys from sneaking in, so I couldn’t get you there.” He tried to carry me… Like, in his arms? The thought of it makes my heart flutter. “So I just put you back on the couch here and decided to wait until you’d wake up.” Ah, then _he_ must have given me this blanket. “Why didn’t you just go to sleep yourself?” “And leave you here all alone, being such an easy target? You think I trust my fellow Slytherins that well?” My mind flashes back to the incident between Beomgyu and the senior Slytherins. I blush as I realise he has been watching over me to protect me from harm. And not just that, he was taking care of me too by giving me this blanket, even stayed up late for me. Why does he have to be so sweet? “Well, I can go to bed now. Thank you, for uh, taking care of me.” He smiles and says: “Of course, no problem, baby.” I try to get up, but fall down again. Either I’m unsteady because I’m sleepy, or because of the amount of Butterbeers I had last night. “Watch out there. Here, let me help you.” Yeonjun carefully takes my arm and walks me to the stairs, even though I repeatedly let him know I can do this on my own just fine. We stop at the staircase and for a brief moment we are silent. “Okay, uhm, well, goodnight,” I stutter. Slowly, he pulls me a little closer, his gaze has caught mine, making it very hard for me to breathe. “Goodnight, and a bit belated, but happy birthday,” he says softly, and he hesitates a split second before he gives me a kiss on my cheek. With a smirk on his face, he turns around and walks over to the boys dormitories, while I just stand still in place, fully awake now. What just happened? With my heart pounding wildly and cheeks red as tomatoes, I hurry my way up to my room. First I get a heart-shaped necklace from Soobin, and now Yeonjun gives me a birthday kiss. Help. This is getting way out of hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One other side note: I wanted to make Beomgyu's hair colour our official fandom colour, but because it hasn't been announced yet, I've decided to make it green for now.


	11. The moment is eternal / 순간은 영원이 돼

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I hurry my way down to get back inside and out of the cold. When I turn around the corner, I bump into someone, almost slipping on the stairs, but he catches me before I fall. “I’m so sorry!” I apologise, but the other person just laughs at me. “Noona, why are you always so clumsy?” I hear Soobin’s voice chuckle. I have to admit, this is indeed not the first time I bumped into Soobin. “I don’t know, I guess I keep falling for you.” It’s out before I realise it, and I bite my tongue. This sounded very different in my head. Soobin’s eyes meet mine and he smiles endeared. I don't know if he is smiling because of my clumsiness or because of what I just blurted out.” 
> 
> \- Yeonjun's birthday kiss doesn't stay a secret for long. Oh oh.  
> \- Beomgyu makes you cry, but in a good way.  
> \- Soobin makes sure you don't get cold. And he does so in more than one way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit late, but: chapter eleven is up! ^.^  
> I am travelling now, so I was too busy to upload on Wednesday, sorry!  
> Not sure if I'll be able to upload properly the coming days (I'm uploading this from my phone and it.is.hell), but I'll try my best >3<  
> I hope you enjoy this chapter ~(^.^)~
> 
> Translations:
> 
> 아니 - No  
> 진짜 - Really  
> 고마워 - Thank you (informal)  
> 가자 - Let's go

“So, what did you get him, noona?” Hueningkai asks me with a cute smile on his face, which is barely visible though, because he wrapped himself tightly in a scarf and fluffy hat. Soobin’s birthday is next week, but we decided to celebrate it this weekend already because of upcoming exams. Hueningkai and I have left early for Hogsmeade, since he still has to get his hyung a gift and he needed my advice. It is freezing outside, with an icy wind ready to bite your nose off, and I almost regret returning Yeonjun’s sweater to him, because it would have been really useful now. I shiver again and take Hueningkai by his arm, huddling up against him to protect me from the cold. “Did you get him something special, like the necklace he gave you?” Unconsciously, I reach for the necklace, I can feel it through my coat. I have worn it every day since he gave it to me. “I think I did,” I say quietly, blushing despite the cold. “But it hasn’t arrived yet.” My stupid parents again. I ask them _one_ thing, seriously… “Oh no, that’s too bad.” I shrug; there is nothing I can do about it, really. “I guess I’ll have to give it to him on his actual birthday then.” “Yeah… Or you can just give him what Yeonjun-hyung gave you for your birthday.” I freeze, while Hueningkai moves on, chuckling. It takes him two steps to notice that I’m not following, then he turns around, looking cheeky, and blows me a kiss. He _knows_! Suddenly I don’t feel so cold anymore. “H-how do you know that?” I stutter. “Oh, he just told me the other day.” I feel like I’m going to faint. Yeonjun told Hyuka, just like that?! Hueningkai takes my arm again and forces me to move along, mumbling something about him really having to get Soobin-hyung a gift. I come to my senses. “Who else was there? Does Soobin know?” “No one was there, don’t worry. Why? Are you afraid Soobin will find out?” I don’t really know what to say to that. I haven’t realised it before, but I really don’t want Soobin to know what happened. But why? Am I afraid to lose him? And so, to lose him as what? As my best friend? My future boyfriend? Ugh, my mind is running in circles again. I need a distraction. And since I got Hueningkai alone now… “Did you tell anyone?” I ask, fishing for the right answer. “Uh…” Hueningkai looks guilty. “I might have told Taehyun…” Perfect! That’s the answer I was looking for. “Ah, Taehyun…” I say, and I slowly tighten my grip around Hueningkai’s arm so he can’t run away from me when I ask my next question. “Speaking of Taehyun… Hyuka, be honest with me.” I look straight at him, and I can already see the panic in his eyes. I knew I was right. “Do you, by any chance, like him?” I ask carefully. “Wh-what, who, me? Like Taehyun-hy-hyung? Pfft, no, why do you think that?” he blurts out, his eyes avoiding mine, while his face displays a textbook example of ‘being as red as a tomato’. “Don’t be shy, you can trust me. I trust you with my Yeonjun-kissed-me secret, so you can trust me with your Taehyun-is-my-crush secret.” “W-well actually Yeonjun told me that secret, s-so he is the one trusting me and not –” “Just confess already, Hyuka.” He sighs, defeated, and stares at his shoes when he mumbles: “Okay maybe I like him a little… But it doesn’t matter, it will never work out.” “Why not?” I ask confused. “He told us that time, in the library, remember? He said he likes some other guy we don’t know.” “He lied.” Now Hueningkai is the one who stops walking, looking at me incredulously. “What?” “He likes _you_ , Hyuka.” I can see hope sparkling in Hueningkai’s bright eyes. “How do you know that?” he asks me, a smile slowly forming on his face. I smirk back at him as I repeat what he said earlier: “Oh, he just told me the other day.” 

Two hours later we are all sitting at a table in the Three Broomsticks, enjoying some cake and drinks at Soobin’s birthday party. I am again sandwiched between my two crushes; I am not sure if I’m more conscious about Yeonjun’s arm casually resting on the back of my chair or Soobin’s leg that brushes against mine every time he moves. Beomgyu is enjoying himself way too much with all of this, biting his lip to prevent himself from laughing. Every time he looks at me, his hair turns pink for a millisecond, while I myself am a millisecond away from cursing him in front of everyone. Meanwhile, Hueningkai has been smiling brightly for a whole other reason, sitting close to Taehyun, unable to peel his eyes off of him. The confusion on Taehyun’s face is killing me, but he is a smart boy, he will figure it out. Feeling nervous, I start playing with my necklace. Which was a mistake. “Who gave you that necklace?” Yeonjun asks as he holds it between his fingers, making my heart pound. “I did,” Soobin says immediately. “As a birthday present.” “Oh, I see,” Yeonjun says, looking a bit annoyed. He drops the necklace, but the tension between the two boys doesn’t drop at all. “What did _you_ give her, hyung?” Soobin asks, taunting him. Oh no. The annoyance immediately disappears from Yeonjun’s face, but before he can say anything I quickly ask: “Does anyone want another drink?” Taking everyone’s orders, I try to get up, but Yeonjun stops me: “You can stay seated, baby, this round is on me,” and he ushers me down. Soobin freezes upon hearing his words, while Yeonjun walks away confidently. Butterflies fly around in my stomach, but I’m not sure if it’s because Yeonjun just called me baby in front of everyone, or because Soobin obviously doesn’t like it. Looking for a distraction, I suddenly notice a pretty girl walking by, and I recognise her as Beomgyu’s crush from the Hallowe’en Feast. “Beomgyu, isn’t that your girlfriend?” I ask him, partly to change topic, partly because I’m curious about it. Beomgyu turns around and as soon as they see each other, the girl makes a 180 degree turn and swiftly walks away. Beomgyu sadly casts his eyes down and bites his lip while staring at the table. Ai, that doesn’t seem very good… “What was that all about?” Yeonjun says to no one in particular as he returns with our drinks, and Soobin asks worried: “Beomgyu-ah, did something happen?” Beomgyu lets out a deep sigh, and says, his eyes still fixated on the table: “Yeah, uhm, we are not dating anymore, actually.” “Oh no, hyung, how sad! Why did you break up?” Hueningkai asks him, rubbing his belly carefully. “Well…” Beomgyu looks a bit embarrassed, and shyly scratches his head. He then glances at me, quickly stares down again and says, his cheeks flushed: “She said she, uhm, didn’t like how close I was with noona.” There is a long silence after his words. I don’t know what to say. So the reason this girl doesn’t want to date Beomgyu anymore is… me? “But it’s just friendship right? You don’t have any feelings for noona?” Taehyun bluntly asks. “That’s what I said! But she didn’t believe me. She said no friends are _that_ close…” He is still not looking at me, which is making me feel awful, so I force myself to speak and say: “Should I go talk to her? Explain that nothing is going on between us? Because if you need to, I –” “No, it’s okay, noona. I am not going to quit our friendship for some girl. I am just as close with you as I am with the guys, and she is perfectly fine with that. So if she can’t accept our friendship, then that is her problem,” Beomgyu says determined, and he gives me a shy smile. I feel tears filling my eyes; I didn’t know he valued our friendship that much. I walk over to him and give him a tight hug. “Noona, are you crying?” Taehyun teases me. “아니,” I pout, and my stupid voice breaks. The guys all giggle as I return to my seat. I’m going to hear this for a long time.

The first snow of this winter is twirling down when I make my way to the Owlery a few days later to get Soobin’s gift. Of course I forgot to wear a coat when I left the common room, so I have to brush off the snow when I step inside, startling some owls, who screech at me. It takes me forever to find our family owl, but when I finally discover him somewhere at the back, I am relieved to see the package made it here in one piece. It’s snowing a bit more forcefully when I step outside again, so I hurry my way down the stairs to get back inside and out of the cold as soon as I can. When I turn around the corner, I bump into someone, almost slipping on the stairs, but he catches me before I fall. “I’m so sorry!” I apologise, but the other person just laughs at me. “Noona, why are you always so clumsy?” I hear Soobin’s voice chuckle. I have to admit, this is indeed not the first time I bumped into Soobin, or bumped into anyone in general. “I don’t know, I guess I keep falling for you.” It’s out before I realise it, and I bite my tongue. This sounded very different in my head. Soobin’s eyes meet mine, of course he looks adorable in his white beret and matching scarf, and he smiles endeared. I don't know if he is smiling because of my clumsiness or because of what I just blurted out. He then looks worried as he realises I’m not wearing a coat. “Why are you out here in the cold without being properly dressed?” He immediately takes off his own coat and puts it around my shoulders. “I guess Yeonjun-hyung is right, you _are_ a baby,” he mumbles, and he avoids my eyes as he attempts to button me up. I blush, feeling speechless. He seems genuinely bothered by Yeonjun’s nickname for me. “Oh, what have you got there? Did your parents send you something?” he asks as he notices my package. “Actually, this is your birthday present,” I say, and Soobin’s face clears up, suddenly being boyishly excited. “진짜?! Oh, I want to open it!” He claps his gloved hands in excitement. “But let’s get out of the snow first.” He takes my hand and we walk down until we find some shelter under the archway at the courtyard, which looks magical in this snowy weather. We sit down on a bench and I hesitate before giving him the package. “What is it?” he asks. “It’s not properly gift-wrapped…” I pout. I wanted to present it nicely, but Soobin obviously doesn’t care, as he takes it out of my hands and immediately starts opening it. “Happy birthday, Soobinie.” “What’s this?” Soobin wonders, as he starts to flip through the pages. “It’s a photobook,” I explain, though I think he got that already. “They’re all pictures from when we were young, from back in South Korea.” I made it all those years ago, before I left the country, as a memory of the good times there. I wasn’t sure I still had it, but miraculously my parents found it in some cardboard box in our stuffy attic. I remembered correctly that it was mostly pictures of me, Soobin and our families. Soobin is speechless as he looks at the pictures. They are magical ones, so the people in them move, and smaller versions of us wave back at us, or play around in the woods, or munch on some candies. “Noona, really, this…” Soobin mumbles something, obviously lost for words. “Do you like it?” I ask. He finally looks at me. “I love it.” And there goes my heart. We just look at each other, neither one of us is saying a word. Snow is slowly falling around us, and his warm, deep eyes have captured me, I’m unable to look away. The moment feels eternal. If I was cold before, I am definitely not cold anymore now. My heart keeps pounding, I barely register that I'm slowly moving closer, being drawn to him by his gaze. But then Soobin suddenly gets shy, and looks down at the photobook, breaking the spell. He frowns. “I can’t accept this, you should keep it. It’s full of memories, you shouldn’t just give those away.” “Oh, but I actually thought of that!” I take the book out of his hand, and take out my wand. “ _Geminio_.” The photobook duplicates with a soft 'pop!' sound, and now there are two. “One for you, and one for me,” I say as I give him back one of the books. His dimples pop up as he smiles. “Very smart, noona.” “고마워.” He gets up and extends his hand. “가자, I’m getting cold, as you are wearing my coat right now.” “Oh, of course.” I take his hand and we walk away together, just like we used to do as the kids we were in the photobook. Though it might mean something different now. Or... has it always been this way? 


	12. You and I are gonna be us now / 너와 난 이젠 우리가 돼

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " “Are you going home for the Christmas break, noona?” Beomgyu asks, while working on the bottom part of our snowman. I bite my lip, starting to feel sad. My parents bluntly asked me to stay at Hogwarts over the holidays; not like I expected anything different, but it hurt anyway. “No, I’m… I’m staying here,” I say, trying to hide my sadness, but it’s audible in my voice. Stupid voice betraying me again. “Oh noona, I’m sorry to hear that!" Beomgyu tries to cheer me up with a hug. “Don’t worry,” Yeonjun says, and he throws his arm around me. "We’ll have lots of fun." “You’re staying here too?” I ask surprised; he never mentioned this before. “Yes, I’m stuck here every year,” he says. “At least now I’ve got some pleasant company,” he whispers in my ear, smirking playfully. Oh boy. This is going to be a long three weeks. "
> 
> \- You say goodbye to your Korean friends when they leave for the holidays, but Soobin got a mysterious surprise for you. What could it be...?  
> \- You and Yeonjun have a lot of fun during your Christmas break at the castle...  
> \- ...but then Soobin's surprise arrives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for chapter twelve, finally!  
> I found some time to post a chapter again, so here it is!  
> I still have to write the next chapters, so it might be a while before I can update again.  
> But I will try my best!
> 
> For now, I hope you enjoy this chapter! >3<  
> Stay safe everyone!!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> 바보 - Idiot  
> 가자 - Let's go  
> 괜찮아? - Are you okay?
> 
> ~

My confused and divided heart gets some rest as the exam weeks pass by. It’s so busy that I barely have time to hang out with anyone, except for last-minute study sessions, which are often so stressed that no one even considers to flirt. But then it’s finally over, having just had my last exam on the Wednesday before the Christmas break. Free at last! Yeonjun, Beomgyu and Hueningkai are finished with their exams as well (Soobin and Taehyun still have to survive one more day of studying), so we decide to go play in the snow to celebrate. And we literally _play_. Our maknae and fake maknae are engaged in a snowball fight, with the occasional loud dolphin-scream of Hueningkai resounding in the air. Hueningkai may be the youngest, but when it comes to things like this, Yeonjun can be extremely child-like too, much unlike his naturally cool character. Meanwhile, Beomgyu and I are rolling snowballs through the snow to make a snowman. “Are you going home for the Christmas break, noona?” Beomgyu asks, while working on the bottom part of our snowman, not without any effort because it has already grown pretty large. I bite my lip, starting to feel sad. My parents bluntly asked me to stay at Hogwarts over the holidays, because they both had working trips to do during the largest part of my time off and they didn’t want me to stay alone at the house. I didn’t really expect anything else, but it hurt anyway. “No, I’m… I’m staying here,” I say, trying to hide my sadness, but it’s audible in my voice. Stupid voice betraying me again. Beomgyu looks up from his giant snowball, blowing some lost strands of hair out of his eyes as he looks at me pitifully. “Oh noona, I’m sorry to hear that. Maybe you can stay at my place, if you want to?” he offers sweetly. “No, thank you, it’s okay, I’ll be fine. It’s not like I’ll be alone here.” I try to fake a smile, but Beomgyu doesn’t buy it and he comes over to give me a hug. “I’ll write to you, I’ll promise.” “You can also just call me.” “Meh, the connection is too bad. And writing is much more romantic.” He winks, and I smile weakly. “Is everything okay?” Yeonjun asks. He and Hueningkai has stopped their snowball fight, both picking up on the gloomy mood change I caused. “No, it’s nothing,” I say, while Beomgyu blurts out at the same time: “Noona has to stay here during the Christmas break and now she’s sad.” “Aw noona, don’t be sad,” Hueningkai says, of course immediately giving me belly rubs. “Yeah don’t worry, we’ll have lots of fun,” Yeonjun says as he throws his arm around me and squeezes my shoulder. “You’re staying here too?” I ask surprised; he never mentioned this before. “Yes, my stupid parents are way too busy with their work to take care of their only son, so I’m stuck here every year.” That sounds familiar. “At least now I’ve got some pleasant company,” he whispers in my ear, smirking playfully. Oh boy. This is going to be a long three weeks.

I say goodbye to my dongsaengs on Friday afternoon, who all promise to write me at least twice while they are away (they all agreed with Beomgyu that the connection is too bad to make a decent phone or video call). Soobin is the last to say goodbye, and he gives me a tight hug. “Take care of yourself noona, don’t get in trouble, and be careful on the stairs at the Owlery when you go and retrieve our letters.” I blush as I think back to our moment in the snow, when we were sitting on the bench while looking at the memories of our childhood together. “I’ll be careful, I promise.” He takes my hand after he releases me from the hug. “Look out for my letter, I might have a little surprise for you,” he says mysteriously, with a dimply smile which makes my heart skip a beat. “What surprise?” I ask nervously, but he won’t budge, because: “Then it’s not a surprise anymore, is it?” Why is he like this? “Hyung, let go of noona, we’ll miss the train because of you, 바보!” Taehyun shouts annoyed, speaking informally. “Ya, watch your language!” Soobin yells back, and after he squeezes my hand softly, he runs over to the others. They all wave at me one more time before they leave. I miss them already. I walk back to the Slytherin common room, which is unusually empty for this time of the day. Almost all of the Slytherins have gone home, there are just a handful of younger students left. And then there’s me and Yeonjun of course. He is sitting on one of the leather couches, playing magic chess with some third-year student, obviously crushing him at the game as the boy’s pieces get smacked off the board one by one. The boy looks sad over his loss, but Yeonjun encourages him sweetly. “We’ll practice a few more times during the break, I promise,” I hear him say as I approach them. I never knew he had such a sweet and caring side. I was pretty sure all the younger students just found him extremely intimidating (which he kind of is). “Hey baby, where did you just come from?” he asks me as I sit down next to him. “Oh, I just said goodbye to the guys.” “What?! They left already?” Oops. “Why didn’t you tell me they were leaving?” he scolds me, pouting because he missed his chance to say goodbye. “Now I’ll have to send them their Christmas presents by owl… That’s going to cost me a fortune.” “You got everyone a present?” I ask surprised. “Of course, I am a good hyung,” he brags. “Did you get me something too?” “Of course!” Great, now I’ll have to make an emergency visit to Hogsmeade without him noticing. He smiles cheekily. “I am a good oppa too.” I blush heavily. Technically, he is my oppa of course, but he never called himself that, or asked me to call him that before. I hope he doesn’t aspect me to start calling him that now. “가자,” he says, and he gets up. “Where are we going?” I ask confused. “It’s time for dinner, silly!” he coos as he boops my nose. I look at my watch. I barely noticed it was that late already… There is only one table set when we arrive at the Great Hall, and all the students that are still here sit together, ignoring the usual strict division of Houses. The dinner is even better than usual, the House elves are probably more willing to make efforts since there is only a few of us now. I talk to many different students I have never talked to before, and find that I am enjoying myself maybe even more so than usual. Yeonjun smiles at me every now and then when our eyes meet, and I feel comforted to have such a good friend (friend…?) staying here as well. Maybe this holiday might not be so lonely after all.

Over the next few days, Yeonjun and I hang out together every moment, enjoying our free time without having to think about homework or stress over exams. We take a walk around the castle, trudging through the freshly fallen snow, but the scenery is so beautiful that we don’t really mind the effort. In the afternoon, we warm up by the fire in the common room, enjoying a hot chocolate while playing some magic chess. Yeonjun keeps defeating me effortlessly, and doesn’t forget to mention it over and over again. The next day, we visit Hogsmeade, and I even manage to get a Christmas gift for Yeonjun after telling him a very creative excuse so I could roam the shops alone for a while. Though I’m not sure he completely bought it, because he is smiling extra cheekily when I meet him after an hour. “Did you find what you were looking for, baby?” he asks mockingly, his cheeks popping out. “Yes,” I mumble, unable to look him in the eye, afraid of breaking my poker face. He keeps smirking on the way back to the castle, and also keeps asking what I got as he tries to steal my gift from me. Miraculously, I manage to prevent him from getting his hands on it, making him pout as he accepts his defeat. “You’ll find out soon enough,” I say as I pat his head. He just laughs and takes my arm. “Alright then, if you say so, baby,” he says as he leads me back to our common room. I feel a lot more comfortable around him now, not so bothered anymore when he takes my hand or calls me baby. It’s starting to feel familiar, as we spend more time together, and the nervousness, the butterflies, slowly disappear. I don’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing. That evening, we cuddle up on the couch; he covers me in some fluffy blanket to prevent me from getting cold, even though there is a blazing fire in the fireplace. We talk for hours, exchanging stories from the past. Yeonjun enlightens me with some anecdotes on the other guys from the early years; most of them involve clumsy or funny moments caused by Beomgyu. “You were really close with Beomgyu before, weren’t you?” I ask him after he re-enacts how Beomgyu managed to set a table on fire when they were practicing spells in a deserted classroom. He smiles sheepishly, looking a little… shy? “Yeah we used to be the closest,” he confesses. “I really cared for him the most.” “So it must have hurt a lot when you lost him,” I blurt out. He nods slowly. “So much,” he whispers. We are silent for a moment, and I curse myself for ruining the cheerful mood we were in. But then he smiles again, and turns to me with a fond look in his eyes. “But you brought him back to me. Not just him, all of them. Plus Hyuka as a bonus.” I blush. I’m not sure I really deserve any credit for that. “Well, you did all the talking.” He takes my hand and squeezes it. “I’m not sure if I said this already, but thank you so much.” “You’re welcome,” I say softly, and then, feeling shy, I quickly change the topic. He doesn’t let go of my hand for the rest of the evening.

On Wednesday we visit the Owlery, because Yeonjun was expecting a package from his grandmother (“Probably another knitted sweater… Let me know if you want it, baby.” - Yes I blushed), so we risk our lives on the treacherous, slippery steps in the icy cold wind; accepting Yeonjun’s sweater doesn’t seem like such a bad idea now. While Yeonjun searches for his family owl, two very enthusiastic owls fly to me immediately, both trying to give me their letter first, creating a chaotic scene with lots of loud screeches and loose feathers flying around. “Whoa, these two are very eager to deliver their mail,” Yeonjun laughs as he helps me to retrieve the letters from the owls, who fly off after their work is done while they continue screeching at each other. “Oh! They’re from Soobin and Beomgyu,” I say surprised when I see the return addresses on the back. “They sure are fast,” Yeonjun says, looking a little annoyed while he retrieves his post. “I wonder what they wrote,” I ponder as we leave the Owlery. “Me too,” Yeonjun mumbles, though I’m not sure I was meant to hear that. Back in the common room, I quickly start reading my mail, while trying to keep Yeonjun away because he is peeking over my shoulder, attempting to read the letters too. Beomgyu’s letter is enthusiastic and cheery, reflecting his bright personality, as he describes his first days of the holiday. Apparently his parents surprised him, and they are spending their Christmas with family in South Korea this year. ‘Guess you couldn’t have stayed at my place after all,’ he writes apologetically, ‘though I would definitely have tried to smuggle you with me in my suitcase!’ I giggle, already imaging the whole thing, but inadvertently making Yeonjun curious again, just when he halted his efforts to read my mail. ‘Have fun with Soobinie-hyung!’ Beomgyu writes before he ends his letter. With Soobin? I wonder confused, while Yeonjun immediately makes use of the moment and snatches the letter out of my hands. Beomgyu must have made a mistake there, thinking Soobin stayed at the castle instead of Yeonjun. But wait, Soobin went with them on the train back to London, so how could he forget that so quickly... ? Very odd. I open Soobin’s letter, which has a very different tone than the one Beomgyu sent me. Yeonjun is definitely not getting his hands on this one. Soobin’s writing is very sweet, he tells me that he misses me, and he hopes I am having a good time at the castle. But he is also a little mysterious, asking me to wait for Friday, saying his surprise will be here by then. What is this surprise of his he keeps talking about? Is it a special present? I touch my necklace nervously. This whole thing is driving me crazy. And I have to wait two more days… Ugh.

But time flies, there is never a dull moment at the castle when Yeonjun is entertaining me all day, and before I know it, Friday has arrived. I have felt anxious from the moment I woke up, having already visited the Owlery twice before lunch. I barely manage to eat anything, and Yeonjun is quick to notice my nervous mood. “괜찮아, baby?” he asks me, looking worried. “You haven’t eaten a thing.” “I’m just not that hungry,” I lie to him, and I leave early to go check the Owlery once more; but again, it was in vain. Soobin said his surprise would arrive on Friday right? Then why isn’t anything here yet?! I’m getting frustrated when I march back into the common room, only to feel my jaw drop when I see the scene in front of me. Yeonjun is sitting on a chair, being all amiable and charismatic while talking to… to my parents?! “What are _you_ doing here?” I exclaim dumbfounded, not being able to properly greet them from shock. “It’s also nice to see you again, honey,” my mother says, trying to look strict, but soon smiling as she gives me a kiss on my cheek. “We came to pick you up for Christmas!” my dad says, also smiling wide as he gives me a hug. “Surprise!” _Surprise_ …? Wait a minute. “We were looking for you at the Great Hall, we thought you would be there for lunch by now, but we were mistaken. Luckily we met this kind young gentleman here who could help us out,” my dad says while smiling at Yeonjun, who graciously says he didn’t mind. “Very charming of him,” my mother agrees, and she looks at me meaningfully, making my ears turn red. “I thought you were too busy to spend Christmas with me,” I ask confused, making it come out more harshly than I intended. “True, but then Soobin’s parents invited us over, just for the few days around Christmas, and since we are free then anyway, we thought we give you a little surprise and pick you up from here!” Ah. So that’s the surprise Soobin had in store for me. I look over at Yeonjun, who looks a little sad, and my heart breaks a little too. He was probably looking forward to spend his Christmas with me, not being alone for a change, and then this happens… My parents urge me to quickly pack my bags, and they leave the common room, which my mom found “very eerie, unlike the our common room at Hufflepuff”, making me feel a little annoyed (yes I am a proud Slytherin now). But they don't leave before saying goodbye to Yeonjun: “Lovely to meet you, I hope we meet again.” I blush again. Why are they so obvious… I turn to him, cheeks still red, but Yeonjun just laughs at my facial expression. “I really like your parents, baby” he says, smirking, and I’m praying my parents didn’t hear him say that. Even though he is smiling, his eyes look sad. “I’m sorry I have to leave you alone for Christmas,” I apologise, and I feel that I truly mean it. I was really enjoying the time we spent together. “It’s okay, don’t worry about it,” he discards my words. “Go have fun with your parents. That is what Christmas is all about.” His sincerity makes the cracks in my heart burst, and I rush to him to hug him tightly. “I’ll see you again on Monday,” I say, and I can hear he is smiling widely when he says: “I can’t wait.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ps. I started uploading my second story!  
> It's another Y/N story (Beomgyu/you ship), in a BTS world kind of setting: everyone forgot about TXT except you and Beomgyu, and you go on a journey to find the others and turn back time.  
> If you're interested, you can find the link here:  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/23140135/chapters/55376617


	13. We're 20cm apart / 우린 20cm 차이

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I look up and meet his eyes, those eyes which seem to be so endless, so deep, so warm. His face is close, so close, we’re barely twenty centimetres apart. If I leaned in a little more, I could easily kiss him. Wait, what am I thinking? I start blushing, but I can’t cast my eyes down, because Soobin’s gaze has captured me, and is slowly pulling me in, closer and closer. Twenty centimetres becomes fifteen centimetres, then ten, then five, then…"
> 
> \- Soobin doesn't answer a very important question... why?  
> \- Decorating a Christmas tree together is not romantic at all. *sarcasm*  
> \- Sometimes you need a litle push. For example, realising you're sitting underneath the mistletoe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter thirteen is up!! ^.^  
> This is actually one of the first chapters I thought of, but I had to built up to it for so long.  
> Well, it's finally here.  
> There's a very good reason 20 cm was the inspiration for the chapter title (and, frankly, the chapter itself) ~(>3<)~
> 
> Enjoy! See you next week, and stay safe everyone!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> 괜찮아? - Are you okay?  
> 고마워 - Thank you (informal)  
> 미안해 - I'm sorry
> 
> ~

Before I know it, we stand in front of a large, oak wooden door that is the entrance to Soobin’s house. Though I’m not sure _house_ really qualifies; it’s more like a mansion, with large windows and many rooms, in a quiet area outside the big, busy city. Huge pine trees form columns at the sides of the road leading to the mansion, and they cast dark shadows on the lantern-lit path. It felt a little eerie, but the light coming from the windows is warm and makes the snow on the ground glow beautifully. Even so, I shiver from being cold when I ring the bell. My dad glances at his watch. “Oops, we’re a little late. I hope they don’t mind.” Well, it’s not my fault, I think annoyed. My parents got lost many times, since they’re not used to Muggle roads. But we were forced to use them, because flying on our brooms wasn’t an option in this snowy weather. I’m about to ring the bell again when the door opens and we are met by the warmth and light of the house. Soobin is standing in the doorway, wearing a dorky Christmas sweater with the image of a cheery snowman on it, smiling brightly, and he greets us warmly before he moves aside to let us in. As soon as I see him, I immediately forget about being cold, as a warm feeling starts spreading in my chest. I realised that I missed him, even though it has been just a week since I’ve last seen him. Even though Yeonjun was there to keep me busy. Even though I had a great time at the castle and enjoyed myself a lot. I still missed Soobin; I just only realise it now I’m seeing him again and he’s making my heart flutter. “How have you been, noona?” Soobin asks me as he helps me take off my coat. The hallway is so small that he has to lean over me to reach for the coat rack, moving in close, while somehow remaining eye contact. “Fine,” I manage to answer, feeling a little light-headed now. “Did you have fun with Yeonjun-hyung?” “I did.” A flash of insecurity on his face betrays Soobin’s feelings, and he looks down at his shoes. That was not the answer he wished for. But without thinking, I add: “But I missed you.” Butterflies fly through my stomach as soon as I’ve said it, but I’m not anxious, because I know it’s true. He looks up to me again, a bright smile slowly forms on his face, and I can’t help but smile as well. “I missed you too, noona.”

After a delicious five-course meal, during which I was extremely conscious of Soobin’s presence on the chair next to me with every bite I took, we all move to their living room to have a small chat and a drink, being wine for the adults and hot choco’s for Soobin, his little brother (he’s eight) and me. We sit down on a cosy couch in front of the fireplace, and when looking around the room, I feel like there’s something missing. It takes me a few minutes to realise, but then it hits me. “Where is the Christmas tree, by the way?” I ask. Soobin laughs sheepishly. “We haven’t set it up yet, to be honest,” he confesses. “We were a little busy the first few days after I came back, and after that, I thought it might be more fun to do it together with you, noona.” Oh. I feel my cheeks blushing. Setting up a Christmas tree together with Soobin. No, not romantic at all. “Noona?” his little brother repeats, puzzled, looking at us with big eyes. “Soobinie-hyung, is she your girlfriend?” I choke on my drink, praying my parents didn’t hear that, and Soobin first looks at me concerned, asking: “괜찮아?”, before addressing his little brother’s question: “You say noona to a girl who is older than you, Taemin.” “Oh.” He still looks puzzled. “So she is _my_ noona too?” “Yes, she is.” Taemin smiles at me and takes my hand, enthusiastically pulling my arm in an attempt to get me up. “Noona, noona, let’s go play a game! Shall we, noona?” I look helpless at Soobin as his dongsaeng drags me away, but he just smiles at me amused, his dimples popping out in a mocking way. Later, I realise he didn’t answer his little brother’s question at all. 

“How about this one, Taemin?” “No hyung, it’s too tiny!” “Okay, this one then?” “Nooo, it’s too big!” I smile as I watch Soobin and Taemin pick a suitable Christmas tree, as we take a stroll through the forest next to their house in the early morning the next day. The young one is very picky, but Soobin stays calm and goes along with his little game. It’s endearing to see, and my heart warms as I watch them. After looking around for almost an hour, Taemin finally found a tree to his liking. Though my heart is warm, I’ve gotten pretty cold in the meantime, so I’m glad we can go back inside now. But then Soobin takes out an axe from his bag (I was wondering why he was dragging that along) and starts cutting down the tree bit by bit, encouraged by the cheers of his little brother, while being stared at in confusion by me. “Uh, Soobinie?” “Yes – noo – na?” “What are you doing?” “Cut – ting – the – tree – down.” “But why don’t you just use your wand?” Soobin laughs, puts down his axe for a minute and blows away a lost strand of hair that has fallen in front of his deep, dark eyes. “Then you take away all the fun, noona.” He looks at me judgingly, and then proceeds to take off his coat; he must be very warm, as a drop of sweat slowly rolls over the side of his face, down to his neck. “The whole idea of a Christmas tree,” he continues, while suddenly taking a step closer to me, “is that you pick it yourself, cut it down yourself, and decorate it yourself too. Using magic is cheating.” “Cheating?” I chuckle, but Taemin looks at me dead serious and repeats in his high pitched voice: “ _Cheating_ , noona.” Taemin’s expression makes me giggle again, but it turns in a shiver half-way through; it’s _so_ cold today. “Well, hurry up then, I’m cold,” I urge Soobin to continue. “I thought so,” Soobin says, and he takes another step closer so he can throw his coat around my shoulders. Oh. So that’s the reason he took it off...? Of course, I feel my cheeks turning red once more. His little brother looks puzzled again, almost suspicious as his eyes go back and forth between his hyung and me, but then takes off his scarf and gives it to me, saying sweetly: “I want to keep noona warm too.” “고마워,” I thank him, while I glance at Soobin, who continues his work with the sweetest dimple-popping smile.

Soobin’s little brother left the decorating to me and Soobin; he got bored with the tree and wanted to play video games instead. Soobin retrieved a big cardboard box from their attic filled with all kinds of Christmas decorations and many brightly-coloured ornaments. There’s a small fire burning in the fireplace, giving off a gentle heat, and a cd with Christmas songs is playing softly in the background. The mood is festive, cosy and warm, and strangely makes me feel at ease and nervous at the same time. Ever since I got here, Soobin has been so gentle, caring, sweet, kind, and it makes me feel warm and bubbly on the inside. I look at him as he starts decorating the upper branches after putting some sparkly lights in the tree, his mouth slightly opened like it always does when he’s focused or concentrated. I’m finally allowing myself to the think about a thought I’ve been supressing for a while now. _Am I falling for Soobin?_ Or, have I fallen for Soobin? Is the tug of war finally over, and has Soobin pulled me over to his side? I feel guilty when I think about Yeonjun, all alone in the cold castle, another Christmas all by himself, waiting for me to come back… Distracted, I start picking ornaments out of the box too, and we decorate the tree silently, though every now and then Soobin hums along with the songs he likes. I glance at him from time to time, but quickly cast my eyes down if his gaze catches mine. Starting to feel anxious, I shift my focus to the ornaments in the tree instead; when I look at the upper branches, I gasp unconsciously. “What’s wrong, noona?” Soobin asks me, barely taking his eyes off the glittery decorations he is putting in the tree. “Look at this!” I say, and I point at the ornaments. Soobin looks at them, and then looks confused at me. “What’s the problem?” “You don’t see it?” “No…?” “These ornaments don’t go together! It’s a mess, a mismatch mess! Plus that one is half-broken…” I start pointing out the flaws in the decorations, but instead of agreeing with me, Soobin just slowly starts smiling. “But I like these ornaments, noona.” “But… it doesn’t look nice,” I pout. He laughs, an airy, care-free laugh that chimes gently through the room. “Fine, but then you have to pick out the ones you like for me.” “Fine.” I start handing out the ornaments that, in my opinion, look good together, and Soobin takes them from me one by one. But then, instead of taking the deep blue star-shaped decoration I’m handing him, Soobin’s hand accidently touches mine. As if I’m burned by fire, I pull back my hand in a reflex, dropping the ornament, which falls on the floor, miraculously staying in one piece somehow. “미안해,” we say at the same time, and we both reach for the star. Our hands touch again, though this time the reflex does not kick in, and my hand stays in place, covered by Soobin’s. I look up and meet his eyes, those eyes which seem to be so endless, so deep, so warm. His face is close, _so close_ , we’re barely twenty centimetres apart. If I leaned in a little more, I could easily kiss him. Wait, what am I thinking? I start blushing, but I can’t cast my eyes down, because Soobin’s gaze has captured me, and is slowly pulling me in, closer and closer. Twenty centimetres becomes fifteen centimetres, then ten, then five, then… The door opens loudly, and the moment is gone as we, both startled, move back and look away. It’s Soobin’s mother, saying a package has arrived for him. He answers her, stuttering, seemingly distracted, and he gets up and walks away, leaving me behind, feeling dazed and a little light-headed. What just happened? Or… what could have happened?

I didn’t even notice that I had fallen asleep until Soobin wakes me by gently shaking my arm and softly whispering my name. After another delicious dinner, we went to the living room so everyone could admire our neatly decorated Christmas tree. Since Soobin’s little brother didn’t stop whining about wanting to open his presents already, we all got to open one tonight. I got a thick, green knitted sweater with a snake on it, very similar to the one Yeonjun gave me a while ago; how ironic. “Finally, something to keep noona warm so she doesn’t steal her dongsaengs’ clothing anymore,” Soobin joked, and with cheeks as red as his Christmas sweater I weakly denied the accused theft. They all laughed at me anyway, making me wonder what Soobin told everyone. Soobin, his little brother and me were sitting on the couch near the fire place, while our parents occupied some chairs around a small table, playing card games. I remember Taemin getting drowsy, slowly falling asleep, eventually ending up resting his head on Soobin’s lap. He looked very comfortable there, like he was used to it. “Does this happen more often?” I asked Soobin, and he just nodded, smiling sweetly while he stroked his little brother’s hair. They looked so absolutely adorable. I remember Soobin and I were talking about all kind of stuff, for quite a while too. I didn’t really look at him much, because every time I did, a storm of butterflies rose in my stomach. I remember feeling sleepy, as the hours passed and the night fell. However, I don’t remember putting my head on Soobin’s shoulder, closing my eyes and falling asleep. But this must have happened, because I just woke up like that. “Hm, what?” I mumble, still a bit disoriented. “You fell asleep, noona.” “That doesn’t mean you have to wake me.” I pout, he laughs. “I’m sorry, but I was getting sleepy as well, so I wanted to go to bed.” I rub my eyes and sit up straight. “Okay,” I say while yawning, and I make an attempt to stand up. Soobin pulls me down again, though. “But not before giving you this.” He hands me a small box, again a suede one with a tiny ribbon, just like the one he gave me on my birthday. Wait. Oh. “What’s this?” I ask, nervous. “It’s a Christmas present from Santa.” “Ya.” He chuckles as I open the box, revealing two shiny emerald earrings. They match my necklace perfectly. “Soobin, really, I –” “Just take them.” I carefully take them out of the box and replace the ones I’m currently wearing; of course I’m still wearing his necklace as well. “How do they look?” I ask. His dimples greet me as he puts a strand of hair behind my ear. “Perfect.” I’m not sure if he’s still talking about the earrings. He keeps looking at me, but I look down, feeling a little guilty. I didn’t get him anything, and he gave me this beautiful gift. “What’s wrong?” “I’m so sorry, I didn’t get you anything.” I feel his hand on my cheek as he turns my face to him. “You being here is all I need.” My heart starts beating fast while his words resound in the air. I can’t believe he just said that. I have no idea what to reply, so I look away, and then I notice it. Was that already there before? I don’t remember it. Strange. Soobin looks up too. “Mistletoe,” he says. “Yes,” I barely manage to say, as my breathing has become unsteady. He looks back at me. I look back at him. “Well, it’s about time,” Soobin mumbles, and then he leans in and kisses me. For a second, I completely malfunction, as I can’t believe this is happening. But then I just give in, close my eyes and empty my head. No thoughts. Just Soobin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Side note: I know Soobin doesn't have younger brother in real life, but I made him up for my story ^.^ And Taemin is a combination of Taehyung and Jimin (from BTS) >3< not sure if this is a boy's or girl's name but I think it sounds cute teehee.


	14. It's a fatal error / 치명적 오류지

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The rest of the weekend went by in a blur, though some moments are sharp, like snapshots: sitting next to Soobin at breakfast, holding his hand secretly under the table; Soobin whispering sweet things in my ear when no one was looking; Soobin wrapping his arm around my back for a moment, acting like this was the most normal thing in the world. My heart, beating fast, did not agree with that."
> 
> \- Soobin's confidence just rose with a 100%.  
> \- Yeonjun is happy you are back at the castle, but did you miss him the way he missed you?  
> \- Watching fireworks at New Year's Eve with Yeonjun takes an unexpected turn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii I'm back with chapter fourteen yaaaay! >3<  
> I'm sorry it took me so long, I was on a small hiatus last week because of some personal circumstances.  
> But I will try my best to post weekly again from now on, as I should have more time again now! ~(^.^)~
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy this chapter!  
> See you next week! ^3^
> 
> Translations(/Romanisations):
> 
> 안녕 연준 - Hello Yeonjun  
> 안녕 연준-오빠 - Hello Yeonjun-oppa  
> 하지마 - Stop it  
> 대박 - Daebak  
> 괜찮아 - Are you okay?
> 
> ~

_Have I fallen for Soobin?_ I am starting to think I have. I’m not sure how long we sat there, under the mistletoe, _kissing_ , but I know the moment felt endless. It wasn’t butterflies in my stomach anymore, it was freaking fireworks. I can’t believe I managed to fall asleep that night. However, after that Christmas eve, Soobin and I were never a moment alone again. Which was probably for the best, because I didn’t know how to act around him anymore. The rest of the weekend went by in a blur, though some moments are sharp, like snapshots, engraved in my memory: I was sitting next to Soobin at breakfast the following morning, avoiding his eyes shyly, but nonetheless taking his hand when he reached for mine. Holding his hand secretly under the table made me feel nervous, and when Taemin looked at us suspiciously I quickly let go; Soobin just chuckled. The next moment, we were opening the rest of the gifts with everyone, Soobin leaning on his arm which he had put on the ground behind my back, his face being so close to mine as I opened my presents while trying with all my might to keep my cheeks from becoming red. Every now and then, when no one was looking, he would whisper sweet things in my ear, like “those earrings look good on you” or “you look cute in that sweater”, completely abolishing my efforts of trying not to blush. But I would be lying if I didn’t admit I kind of liked it too. Then, we were taking a walk in the forest, Taemin running around fighting imaginary monsters with a small branch as ‘wand’, the parents walking in front of us; Soobin took my hand every now and then when no one was looking, or wrapped his arm around my back for a moment, acting like this was the most normal thing in the world. My heart, beating fast, did not agree with that. The rest of the afternoon was a blur of packing suitcases because we would be leaving early on Monday morning; at dinner Soobin sat on the other side of the table so nothing could happen really; and after that we played board games with everyone and I got so competitive that I wasn’t really paying attention to anything but my goal of winning the game. However, the moment I remember most clearly, is when I was walking to my bedroom door yesterday night after we were done playing games, suddenly feeling a hand taking my arm, after which Soobin whispered “Goodnight, noona,” in my ear and gave me a kiss on my cheek before disappearing in his own room. I don’t know how long I stood in the hallway, frozen, while a whirl storm of emotions was going through my mind, before I managed to finally open the door and quickly hide in my room. And now I’m in the hallway downstairs, suitcase standing next to me, as we say goodbye to Soobin and his family. Taemin hugs me cutely, and asks me, when he looks up to me with his puppy eyes: “Will you visit again soon, noona?” “I’m sure she will be back soon, don’t worry,” Soobin answers for me, leaving me speechless and blushing once again. How did his confidence grow so much over the past few days? I’m seeing a whole different side of him now. Taemin releases me, and Soobin takes his place, his arms engulfing me in a tight hug while he rubs my back with one hand, and brushes his fingers through my hair with the other. “See you in two weeks, Soobin,” I say, feeling kind of sad that I have to leave him. “I’ll miss you, noona,” he sighs. “I’ll miss you too.” “I’ll write to you, I promise.” A sting of nervousness hits me unexpectedly, as my mind flashes back to when Yeonjun was trying to steal my letters before at the castle. It confuses me for a minute, so I just nod and smile at Soobin, but my mind is racing. What was that just now? Do I not want him to write? Or am I afraid that Yeonjun reads his letters? And if so, why would that scare me… But my confused thoughts melt like snow in the sun when Soobin fires a dimply smile back at me, and I don’t think about it again when we leave the house. I turn around one more time to wave at them, and Soobin secretly throws me a finger heart; I treasure that image the entire way back to the castle.

“Baby, you’re back!” Yeonjun exclaims happily as he twirls me around in the Slytherin common room. I haven’t even been back for more than ten minutes and he already found me; the boy got a sixth sense for that, I swear. “안녕 연준.” I can barely speak because he is holding me tight, excited like a little puppy whose owner just got home after a long day of work. But I smile nonetheless, his happiness is contagious. “안녕 연준-오빠,” he corrects me. I throw him a annoyed look, and he just laughs at my face. “All right, all right, no oppa then.” The other, younger Slytherins in the common room giggle when they see us. Great, I can already hear the rumours. “How was your weekend at Soobin’s house?” he asks me. I try my best to keep a straight face, feeling a little guilty as I say: “Oh, it was fun.” “But you missed me, didn’t you? I can see it,” Yeonjun teases me with a grin and he pokes my belly, making me giggle. “하지마!” “Admit it, you’re happy to be back at the castle. Say it and I’ll stop.” Seeing his cheeky face makes me realise I _did_ miss him. Just probably not the way he missed me. The feeling of guilt remains as I nod, and worsens when he smiles bright. “Well hurry up and start unpacking already, I want to give you my Christmas present.” He picks up my suitcase with one hand and starts pushing me towards the girls’ dormitory with the other. “Can’t this wait?” “No no no, Christmas has passed already, we’re late. Or do you want to wait for next year?” “I told you that you could already open it.” He frowns and shakes his head. “What’s the fun in that?” “So you didn’t take a peek at it already?” “Ya!” he says with pursed lips, only half-offended. “Go! And hurry!” I quickly go up the stairs, chuckling, and my feeling of guilt starts to leave me and is being replaced with the feeling of comfort and familiarity that I got before too when I hung out with Yeonjun in the castle. _I feel at home_.

“Oh, what’s this?” Yeonjun asks surprised when he opens my gift. I blush a little, afraid he won’t like it; to be fair, I had to buy it last-minute and sneakily behind his back, so I would have gotten him something better if I would have had more time. I was very lucky that the local muggle-curiosities store in Hogsmeade sold it. “It’s a type of muggle camera,” I say, while Yeonjun examines the little piece of technology. “It’s called an instant camera. It takes a photo of the moment, and immediately prints it as well.” “Immediately? Whoa, 대박!” Without a second thought, Yeonjun points the camera at me and snaps a photo, catching me completely off guard. “Ya!” I yell, but Yeonjun ignores me while he retrieves the photo from the device with big eyes. “Oh? It’s blank!” he says surprised, and a little disappointed. “It takes a while to develop,” I say, and indeed, after a few seconds, an image starts to form. “Wow, this is really cool, thank you! Heh heh, look at your face!” He shows me the picture: I’m captured mid-sentence with my eyes half closed. Charming. “It doesn’t move though,” he ponders. “That’s the thing with muggle technology. The moment that is captured will be there forever, it can’t change.” “Ah, I see, so you’ll have a picture that is always the same. A moment of alwaysness.” He chuckles and puts the camera and the photo aside to hand me my gift. “Here’s your present, baby. Merry Christmas,” he smiles. _Oh no._ It’s a small box, like the ones I got from Soobin for my birthday and for Christmas as well. I already have strong feeling what this could be. And sure enough, when I open it, a piece of jewellery is revealed. It’s a small, silver bracelet, with a green emerald dangling in the middle. It’s beautiful, and somehow also perfectly fits my necklace and earrings. _It’s a complete set now_ , I think, painfully aware of the irony. “Yeonjun, it’s… it’s really beautiful,” I sigh; the feeling of guilt has returned. “I’m glad you like it,” Yeonjun chimes happily, and he puts he bracelet carefully on my wrist. “It’s a little something to remind you of me when I’m not around,” he says. “I don’t need a reminder for that,” I joke, but he points at my necklace and says: “If you need it for Soobin, then you also need it for me.” I’m not sure how he means that, and it’s making me a little insecure. “And also,” he adds, smirking, “it’s to make up a little for not getting you a birthday gift. Though, technically, you _did_ get one.” He playfully winks at me and unwillingly, I blush. Wait, why am I blushing? My feelings are confusing me once again, and I don’t like it. I thought my heart had settled on Soobin? So why is Yeonjun making me feel this way?

For the next following days, the older students, including Yeonjun and me, help out to prepare the fireworks for New Year’s Eve. The magic is quite challenging; adding the right powder is one thing, enchanting it to display marvellous images is another. But Yeonjun is sweet enough to help me when I’m stuck, or if a spell doesn’t quite work out. “Your swing is a little off, baby. Try to lift your arm a little bit more, like this.” Yeonjun takes my arm and we repeat the spell again together. A tiny image of a fiery dragon lights up in the firework powder, indicating the enchantment was successful this time. “See, I knew you could do it!” He pats my head encouragingly and I smile back at him. Even though I felt uncomfortable when Yeonjun gave me his Christmas present, that feeling has left me again after spending a few days with him at the castle, as we casually played magic chess (I’m getting better by the minute) or took long walks through the snowy fields or, like now, worked on the New Year’s Eve fireworks. I’m at the same time relieved and anxious that my heart seems to have made up its mind. I realise I do care a lot for both Yeonjun and Soobin, but in a different way. I’m just not sure how to break it to Yeonjun. He is so happy and cheery now, and it warms my heart to see him like this, especially because he had to spend Christmas without family or friends again. So for the time being, I just let it be.

It took us until the last day of the year to finish the fireworks for tonight, since there weren’t many students from the fifth to seventh year still at the castle in the Christmas holidays. But we proudly moved all the fireworks to the lakeside, where they will be lit tonight, and I just hopped by the Owlery before going back to the Slytherin common room. I got a letter from every single one of my Korean friends, making me feel so loved, but I’m very keen to prevent Yeonjun from getting his hands on the letters this time, especially the one of Soobin. “You got a lot of mail, baby,” Yeonjun says, looking a little jealous, making me feel guilty. “Didn’t you get any letters?” I ask him carefully. “Oh, I did, everyone thanked me for the Christmas presents I sent them. But only Beomgyu really showed any interest in our life at the castle, though. Which reminds me, I still have to answer him.” Yeonjun ruffles through my hair before he leaves for the boys’ dormitories to write his letter, completely messing up my ponytail. “Ya!” I yell at him annoyed, but he just turns around to grin at me before he rushes up the stairs. Silly Yeonjun. I quickly read through all my letters and I’m glad Yeonjun just went upstairs. Hueningkai’s letter is cheery and innocent, but Taehyun and Beomgyu both ask how my weekend at Soobin’s family was, and I can read through the lines that at least one of them suspects that something more happened. I wonder what Soobin told them. And Soobin’s letter… It makes me blush all the way to the roots of my hair. His sweet words make me miss him badly, even though I’ve been back at the castle for just a few days. I never thought I would wish for classes to start again as much as I do now.

Finally, the sun has set on this New Year’s Eve and all the students and teachers still left at the castle have gathered at the lakeside, where a few benches has been put down to watch the light show so we don’t have to sit on the cold ground. It’s freezing nonetheless, and even though I am wearing the knitted sweater I got for Christmas, as well as a warm coat, a scarf, a hat, and I am covered under a blanket, I’m still shivering. “Baby, 괜찮아?” Yeonjun asks worried, and he puts his arm around me and starts rubbing my arm to warm me up. Yeonjun and I are sitting all the way in the back, and the winds is coming from behind, so we are not shielded from the cold. “I’m f-f-fine,” I stutter, making Yeonjun giggle. “I can s-s-see that,” he mocks me, and his laugh floats through the air as he sees my pouty face. “Not f-funny,” I stutter again, and he pouts back at me: “Sorry, baby, I had to.” I try to turn away angrily, but that only results in him pulling me closer teasingly. Suddenly, a red flare flashes through the sky, announcing that the show has started. One spectacular sparkling flash after the other lights up the night, displaying beautiful images of all kinds of creatures and things: a golden dragon, a silver mermaid, pink cherry blossom flowers, followed by a representation of all the Houses: a yellow badger, a blue raven, a green snake and a red lion... Yeonjun and I marvel with the rest of the students at the fireworks, yelling enthusiastically when we recognize a piece we worked on. It’s absolutely beautiful and magical, and it makes me so proud to have been part of this. “Are you enjoying yourself?” Yeonjun asks me with sparkling eyes. “I really am,” I answer him, barely taking my eyes off the fireworks. “I can’t believe we were part of this.” And then a big sparkly ‘10’ lights up the sky, followed by a ‘9’, and then an ‘8’, a ‘7’… Yeonjun and I count down with the others, and when the ‘1’ slowly fades, the heavens are filled with big bursts of fireworks taking up the entire night sky. “Happy New Year!” everyone shouts, and people shake hands or hug each other cheerfully. “Happy New Year Yeonjun!” I say, and I give Yeonjun a tight hug. But when I pull back and try to stand up to greet the other students, I feel Yeonjun is holding me down. And before I know it, he leans in and kisses me. I completely freeze at his unexpected move. _What is going on?!_ I feel panic rising, like I lost control of the situation. This was not supposed to happen. But before I can even react to it, he pulls back and says, with his all too familiar smirk on his face: “Happy New Year to you too, baby.”


	15. Rewind the clock, rewind now / 시계를 되감아, 지금 rewind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ' “Baby!” Oh no. I feel a chill run down my spine as Yeonjun walks towards us, wraps his arm around me and softly strokes my cheek. He greets the others, who look at us with big eyes and open mouths, while I franticly try to make clear to them with my eyes that they.should.act.normal. Taehyun quickly catches on and distracts Yeonjun, who is now mindlessly playing with a strand of my hair as he talks to Taehyun, while Beomgyu is trying to control his facial expression, which is somewhere in between confusion and shock.'
> 
> \- Oh  
> \- no.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew I'm finally back with another chapter!  
> I'm so sorry it took me so long, but, as usual, I've been really busy.  
> I've given up on trying to post a chapter every week, cuz apparently, I can't (anymore).  
> So instead I'll update as soon as I can!
> 
> Meanwhile, I hope you enjoy reading this chapter! ~(>3<)~  
> See you next time! 
> 
> Translations:
> 
> 안녕 범규 - Hello Beomgyu 
> 
> ~

While Yeonjun gets up to greet the other students, I remain on the bench, dazed and unable to move as I’m trying to process what just happened. I feel my hands start to shake and my breathing becomes unsteady when I realise that I just lost control of the situation. _I messed up._ First Soobin and I kissed on Christmas eve. And now Yeonjun kissed me too. But... it felt so… _different_. With Soobin it was all warm and fuzzy and butterflies. Now I feel nervous, maybe anxious even, or uncomfortable. My chest tightens as I foresee horrible scenarios, and I feel myself starting to hyperventilate, still sitting on the bench while the students and teachers are celebrating by popping open some butterbeers and munching on some cake or candy. I am forced to calm myself as others come to me to wish me a happy new year. I try to act normal (I’m pretty sure my panic shows because a few people look at me funny), but in reality I wish I could run back to the castle to cry my eyes out. I messed up. _So bad_.

After a sleepless night, the first day of the new year started and I was determined to talk to Yeonjun and tell him how I really felt. Maybe it was even a good thing that he kissed me, because at least I am a hundred percent sure about my feelings now. I felt a little guilty to already ruin the new year for him on the very first day, but I knew he would have appreciated my honesty. The problem was, I didn’t get the chance to tell him, because we were never a moment alone. _Ever._ When we were about to go on a walk on the castle grounds, a heavy snow storm broke loose, which lasted for three days, and made it impossible to leave the castle. Being forced to all stay in the common room, we were continuously surrounded by other Slytherins. Of course there weren’t _that_ many, but how could I break Yeonjun’s heart in front of others? Right, I couldn’t. So I just got more and more anxious as the days passed, while Yeonjun, poor Yeonjun, didn’t notice a thing, and casually sat closer to me or played with my hair or wrapped his arm around me to hold me tight. I subtly asked him not to do those things, but maybe I was being too subtle, because he was not getting the message. At all. When the storm finally laid down, all students from the fourth year and up, including Yeonjun and I, were asked to help remove the snow and fix the damage that was caused by the storm (there were a lot of broken windows, the roof was damaged by fallen trees, and a part of the dungeon flooded). By the time it was Sunday and the others students were arriving at the castle again, my despair had grown into a huge monster that was slowly eating me up from the inside.

“Noona!” I hear someone yell, and a sting of nervousness hits me before I realise it is Beomgyu’s voice, and not Soobin’s. I was just returning from lunch (luckily I’m alone, as Yeonjun was needed elsewhere) and I turn around just in time to see a glimpse of Beomgyu’s happy face before he crashes into me to hug me tight, almost making us fall over in his enthusiasm. “안녕 범규.” Even though I feel terrible right now, I can’t do anything but smile when I see my dongsaengies again after having missed them for three whole weeks. “How are you, noona?” Taehyun asks me sweetly, and he releases me from Beomgyu’s grip to give me a hug instead. “Uhm…” I’m not sure how to answer that, but Hueningkai beats me to it as he says, his eyes sparkling like he already knows all the details: “How was your weekend at Soobin’s place? Did you have a good time? Did anything happen?” I don’t know what to say, so I bounce back his question to buy myself some more time: “What do you mean, did anything happen?” “Oh noona, please, don’t act all innocent,” Taehyun says while he rolls his eyes. “Yeah noona, give us some details,” Beomgyu says while he smirks cheekily. “For instance, is Soobin a good kisser or not?” I’m pretty sure the shock must be visible on my face because they all laugh at my reaction. This is bad. So bad. They know? “How… how did you… Did Soobin tell you?” I stutter. “Are you talking about me?” I feel my heart skip a beat as Soobin suddenly appears out of thin air next to us. He doesn’t await the answer as he proceeds to greet the others warmly. He saves me for last, whispering “I missed you, noona,” in my ear, and giving me a small kiss on my head, causing a whirl storm of butterflies in my stomach, which suppresses my anxiety monster for a little while. The conversation moves to a different topic, but still I’m nervously looking around, praying that Yeonjun’s Prefect duties will hold him up long enough for Soobin to have left already. My prayers must have been heard as Soobin only stays for a few minutes, and then leaves together with Hueningkai, to the Hufflepuff common room. “Aw noona, you and Soobin are so sweet!” Beomgyu chimes happily. “How did Yeonjun take it?” Taehyun asks me, sounding a bit worried for his friend. His concern finally breaks down the walls I tried to hold up, and I hide my face in my hands when I sigh: “I haven’t told him yet.” Beomgyu and Taehyun look at me shocked. “You haven’t?!” “No, and that’s not even the worst part.” I feel like I’m about to burst into tears. “On New Year’s Eve, he –” “Baby!” _Oh no._ I feel a chill run down my spine as Yeonjun walks towards us, wraps his arm around me and softly strokes my cheek. He greets the others, who look at us with big eyes and open mouths, while I franticly try to make clear to them with my eyes that _they.should.act.normal_. Taehyun quickly catches on and distracts Yeonjun, who is now mindlessly playing with a strand of my hair as he talks to Taehyun, while Beomgyu is trying to control his facial expression, which is somewhere in between confusion and shock. Of course, Yeonjun being the popular guy he is, gets called away by someone in no time. As soon as he is gone, Beomgyu and Taehyun start talking at the same time, and in the same condescending tone, but I interrupt them quickly: “I messed up, I know.” I feel tears starting to run down my cheeks. “It’s even worse because Yeonjun kissed me on New Year’s Eve” – Beomgyu and Taehyun both gasp loudly – “and I haven’t been able to talk to him and now they’re going to find out and they’ll both hate me and I’ll lose them and my life will be over and –” Before I can freak out even more, Taehyun hugs me tight and soothingly rubs my back. “You messed up, quite terribly I must say, but we’ll help you fix it, noona.” Beomgyu nods fiercely and adds: “We’ll figure out a plan, don’t worry! I’m sure they’ll understand if you explain what happened.” I wipe the tears from my eyes and say, my voice unsteady: “Thanks guys, I really appreciate it.” They smile back and Beomgyu says sweetly: “That’s what friends are for.”

I don’t know how I managed to get through the week but, somehow, I did. And miraculously, Yeonjun and Soobin didn’t see each other even once. Which was a good thing really, because they were both not afraid to show the world that I was theirs, even though my heart belonged to only one of them. Then Sunday arrived, and it was time to put Taehyun’s master plan (the boy is a genius, I swear) in motion. Well, technically, phase one was already initiated on Friday afternoon, when I asked Soobin if he would like to study with the rest of us in the library on Sunday. He seemed a little disappointed that the others would be there too, but he agreed anyway. I also asked Yeonjun if he could help me with some ‘difficult spells’ from Defence Against the Dark Arts at the same time on Sunday, which is why we are walking towards one of the deserted classrooms after Taehyun texted me that Soobin had arrived in the library. “It’s really not that difficult, you know.” Yeonjun is already explaining the spell to me as we walk through the hallway. “It’s most important that you keep your elbow up during the swing.” I just nod, too nervous to really respond to his words. I’m about to break his heart and I am not looking forward to it. But I can’t go on like this either, every day feeling like I’m about to explode from built-up stress. We arrive at the classroom, only to find it in use already by some first-years practicing Transfiguration on their pet rats. After helping them catch one of the rats which escaped because we startled the poor first-years when we barged in, Yeonjun leads me to another empty classroom he knows. We are getting dangerously close to the library though, so I stop him and pull him to the end of a hallway. “Baby, you are acting strange. What’s the matter?” Yeonjun asks me after I made him sit down on the windowsill. He looks genuinely worried, and takes my hand to make me sit next to him. My heart starts to beat fast as the moment I most dreaded the past few days has finally arrived, and I tear my eyes away from him, to look out the window in an attempt to find strength in the piles of snow below me. The forest surrounding the castle looks so beautiful, the treetops covered in white, the lake frozen solid with students skating on it. I sigh deeply and force myself to speak. “Yeonjun, I… I have to tell you something.” He squeezes my hand softly to encourage me, and soothingly rubs his thumb over my hand to calm me down, while he says in a low voice: “I thought something was wrong, you’ve been a little off all week. You can tell me, don’t worry.” Why does he have to be so sweet? I can’t break his heart, his kind, loving heart which wants nothing but happiness for those who he loves. Why, why did he have to like me? I can’t return his adoration in the same extent, it’s so unfair to him… And that’s why I have to be honest with him. “I have to tell you something,” I repeat, “and I’m afraid you won’t like to hear it, Yeonjun.” His facial expression changes, from worry to caution. “What do you mean, I won’t like to hear it?” he asks, seeming a bit wary. I’m too nervous to look him in the eye, so I start fidgeting with my bracelet. _His_ bracelet. “It’s about Soobin.” As soon as I said his name, Yeonjun lets go of my hand. I can see him tense up, almost like he is bracing himself. Does he already know? “What about him?” His voice is so cold, it throws me off guard. But I can’t really blame him, since I am the one who is about to hurt him. Right at this very moment. “Soobin and I, uhm, we… when I was with him, during Christmas, we kissed.” The word feels heavy in the silence that follows, but Yeonjun quickly recovers and asks, very loudly and incredulously: “Wait, you kissed Soobin too?!” I can hear the pain in his voice, which trembles, just like his hands do, and, still not capable of looking him in the eye, I look away. Straight in the eyes of Soobin. _Oh no._ “Soobin,” I whisper, feeling my heart ache and panic rising. Why is he here? My insides start twisting and my breathing accelerates. He is looking back and forth between me and Yeonjun, his mouth hanging open in a perfect, round ‘o’, obviously confused and hurt. “What do you mean with ‘you kissed Soobin _too_ ’?” he asks Yeonjun. Yeonjun is silent, lost for words, very unlike him. Then Soobin turns to me, tears in his eyes. “Noona, what does he mean by that?” “We kissed on New Year’s Eve,” Yeonjun suddenly answers, sounding upset. Soobin looks at me in disbelief, his sad eyes reflecting hurt and betrayal. Then he turns around and runs away. “No, Soobin, wait!” I get up and run after him, tears clouding my eyesight. “It wasn’t like that! Soobin!” But I feel a hand on my wrist, pulling me back, and then I’m facing Yeonjun. Not the Yeonjun I know so well, but an angry, bitter, sorrowful Yeonjun. “What is this all about? Is this some kind of game for you, just fooling around with our feelings?” he yells, his voice even more unsteady than before. “Of course not!” I yell back at him, feeling frustrated and angry at myself for letting things get so out of hand. “Then why did you kiss me when you kissed Soobin as well?” “I didn’t kiss _you_ , you kissed _me_!” In the silence that follows, I can almost hear his heart break. His face clouds over, and he slowly lets go of my arm, defeated. “I see,” he mumbles, and then he turns around and walks away too, shoulders hanging, leaving a trace of fallen tears on the floor. The world starts spinning too fast, I feel dizzy and nauseous. Everything has fallen apart, my worst nightmare has become my reality. I just lost the love of my life and one of my best friends at the same time. And it’s all my fault. I collapse onto the floor and let my tears flow freely as I cry my eyes out, my arms around my chest in attempt to hold my broken heart together. The pain in my chest is nothing like I ever felt before. How did this is all happen? I am such an idiot. _If only I could rewind time_.


	16. It feels like everybody's happy but me / 나만 빼고 다 행복한 것만 같아

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He hasn’t looked me in the eye for weeks, and now I’m not able to look away. I open my mouth, but the words are stuck. ‘I’m sorry,’ I want to say. ‘I miss you. I hurt you and that was wrong. Please let me explain myself. Because… I think… I love you.’ Why can’t I get these simple words out? I’m paralysed, but by what? Fear of rejection? Fear of him not loving me anymore? Fear… It keeps me from reaching out to him, it’s an invisible wall between us, separating us and keeping us apart. While all I want right now is to be with him." 
> 
> \- How can you explain yourself when the two persons you care about most refuse to talk to you?  
> \- Who would have thought that 'no' could be such a beautiful word?  
> \- Perhaps all you need to get someone to listen to you is an annoyed Beomgyu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooo I am back ^.^ <3  
> Time for chapter sixteen whoa ~(>3<)~  
> When I started writing this I never imagined it would be such a long story heh heh, but here we are.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter! <3  
> See you next time ~
> 
> Translations/romanisations:
> 
> 안녕 - Hello  
> 아이고 - Aigoo
> 
> ~

It took them a while to find me there, sitting curled up against the wall, my arms wrapped around my chest trying to hold my broken self together. Crying, just crying. It took me a while to realise that they were there too, my vision being blurred by my tears, my ears deafened by my own cries, my body numb from the pain. I don’t know how many times he already said it, but suddenly my mind registers a soft voice whispering “Noona, what happened?”, and I feel a hand loosening my grip around my chest to rub my belly. Must be Hueningkai. I look up into his worried eyes, and I see Beomgyu and Taehyun standing there too, their faces looking sad and concerned, with even a hint of guilt in their eyes. They kneel down next to me and try to comfort me too, stroking my hair or lightly squeezing my hand. “They found out, didn’t they?” Taehyun carefully asks, and I barely manage to nod before more tears start running down my cheeks. You would think there were no tears left by now. “I w-was talking t-t-to Yeonjun and s-suddenly… suddenly Soobin w-was there…” My voice trembles and is unsteady, and my throat is hoarse from crying. I sound awful right now. What a perfect reflection of my current state of mind. “He r-ran away before I… before I could explain… then Yeonjun got mad at me too and I hurt him and now they both hate me…” I have more words to say but they are stuck in my throat, my heartbreak is overwhelming me. Suddenly Beomgyu sniffs too and, through my eyesight clouded by tears, I could swear I saw his eyes glistening. “I’m so sorry noona, it’s all my fault. Soobin wanted to leave the library because he forgot something, and we couldn’t stop him. So I panicked and my wand fired off some spell and books flew everywhere and then the library lady scolded us and before I knew it Soobin was gone.” “She made us clean up everything the muggle way for causing the mess, and by the time we were done we… uhm, found you here,” Hueningkai continues, his eyes filled with pity. Pity, that’s what people feel when they see someone who messed up so bad, causing not only her own pain and suffering but also that of two others. What a stupid twist of faith. I almost feel angry at Beomgyu for his clumsiness, but that feeling is soon replaced by shame. How could I be mad at him? He is not the one that caused all of this. If I would have been more honest with Yeonjun and Soobin from the beginning, if I would have told Yeonjun how I felt sooner, if I wouldn’t have let him kiss me… I feel I’m finally starting to calm down, but maybe that is just because I am empty inside. My pool of tears has dried up, there is only a vague, numbing pain left in my chest where my heart should be. “Never mind,” I say, wiping away the tears with a handkerchief that Taehyun offered me. “It’s too late now.” I get up, feeling weak, and embarrassed that they saw me like this. “I’m going to the common room to get some rest.” With the last remaining bit of dignity, I deny their helping hands and walk down the hallway. Alone.

From that moment on, life at Hogwarts started to feel like a nightmare. Only the pain in my heart reminds me that I’m not sleeping. Schooldays have become agonising, endless, an hour feels like an eternity; especially when I have classes with Soobin. He refuses to speak to me, doesn’t sit next to me anymore, he is not even acknowledging my existence. Of course I try to talk to him, but he just ignores me and walks away, knowing I could never keep up with his long legs. Yeonjun avoids me too, leaving the common room as soon as I enter it, or constantly being engaged in conversations with other students, which is easy because he is so popular and every Slytherin would like to talk to him. Quidditch practice hasn’t started again yet, but I’m already torn because I don’t know if I should attend and be ghosted by Yeonjun, or quit and upset the rest of the team. That is just one of the many dilemmas that deprive me of sleep when I lay crying in my bed every night. In conclusion: my life is a terrible mess. Beomgyu, Taehyun and Hueningkai effortlessly try to cheer me up, asking me to come study with them in the library or join them when they go to Hogsmeade, but I’m such a pathetic wreck that I know they’ll have no fun when I’m around, so to spare them the awkwardness and decline their offers to suffer alone. However, when I’m sitting by myself in the far end corner of the library on a windy day in February, pondering on how the hell I got through the past few weeks of torture and made it alive a few days into another month, Taehyun somehow managed to find me, and, when my guard was down, already put a chair down next to mine before I could say anything about it. I avoid his eyes and focus on my book. “안녕,” Taehyun says, but I pretend I can’t hear him because I have my earphones in. No music is playing though, since every song I listen to either reminds me of Soobin or Yeonjun. “Noona, don’t ignore me,” Taehyun says, and he takes out my earphones with a sweep of his wand. “Ya!” I protest, but even in my ears it sounds so weak. I despise myself. “Please, just hear me out.” Taehyun meets my eyes, he looks concerned, but also kind of annoyed, like he is disappointed in me. “This has been going on for too long already. I don’t think it comes as a surprise when I tell you that you look awful, and we haven’t talked for weeks because you keep avoiding us. It doesn’t look like you are getting better all by yourself, to be honest it seems like it’s only getting worse, but if you keep refusing our help, we can’t make it any better for you either.” He takes my hand and softly squeezes it, while I try to contain my emotions. “Look, we all understand this has been a horrible experience for you, and we feel for you so much. We don’t like to see you this sad, noona, so please let us try to bring back a smile on your face, even if it’s just for a short while.” Unwillingly, a faint smile curls my lips, and Taehyun responds with a sunshine filled-smile of his own. “See, that’s what we’ve been missing so much! Join us tomorrow, we’re going to Hogsmeade, just for an hour or so.” I look down at my book and bite my lip as I weigh my options. I haven’t been in Hogsmeade since the Christmas break, and it would be nice to get out of the castle for a while, where everything reminds me of my stupid mistakes. “Sure.” I smile at him a little less weakly now. “I’d love to.”

I soon regret agreeing to come with them to Hogsmeade the next day. It’s not because of my friends; they are lovely as always, cheering me up as we walk through the streets, putting a nowadays rare smile on my face. But the farther we get, the more shops we pass, the more people I see... the more I start to notice it, and a wave of sadness and pain washes over me. Heart-shaped balloons hanging in the streets. Roses in the shop windows. Pink decorations hitting me in the face when we enter the Three Broomsticks, making me so nauseous that I want to turn around again and run back to the castle. I totally forgot, but it’s next weekend already: Valentine’s day. This could have been a day to which I could have been incredibly looking forward to; I would have shared a hot chocolate and some cake with Soobin in a quiet corner of the tearoom with candle light and soft, calming music in the background, feeling happy and loved. Instead, I am being ignored and hated by two of the people who I care about most in the world. This was a big mistake. I barely touch the drink the boys ordered for me, barely engage in the conversation, barely can take my eyes off the table because I suddenly see couples everywhere. “Noona? Are you listening?” Hueningkai’s voice wakes me up from my thoughts, and I look up to three pairs of eyes looking at me worried. “You look a little pale, are you all right?” Nothing slips Taehyun’s sharp sight. “To be honest, I’m feeling kind of sick,” I say, which is actually not a lie; I’m physically unwell, which shows just how bad my emotions are affecting me. “Should we walk you back to the castle?” Beomgyu asks, already putting on his jacket. I stop him and get up myself, trying my utmost best not to start shaking. “No, I’ll be fine, you stay here and enjoy your drinks.” They look at me warily when I get my stuff and say goodbye, but they don’t follow me as I leave the pub. I walk around the corner to make sure I’m out of sight, rush into a deserted alley and then I collapse again. It’s been weeks, but still the slightest trigger can make me feel sick to the bone, feel like crying until there are no more tears left. I’m astounded that this feeling would still haunt me after so long, but it also tells me that I lost the opportunity of a lifetime. I breathe in and out a few times and wipe the tears off my cheeks. People just stopped gossiping about what happened the past couple of days, I don’t want them to see me like this and start all over again. I straighten my clothes, retie my hair into a neat ponytail and force a smile on my face. I’ll get over this. I guess I just need more time. A lot more time. I start walking back to the castle, trying to stay in the moment, looking at the people around me, the curiosities for sale in the shop windows, the blue sky above me as I leave the town. I look down just in time to see Soobin standing in my path, barely a few steps away. I stop dead in my tracks, my heart first skips a beat and then starts pounding wildly, and every fibre of my being is feeling nervous. The moment I decide to turn around and run away, his eyes catch mine, and I can’t think straight anymore. So close. Yet so far. The look in his eyes rips my chest right open again. The same hurt, sadness, heartbreak. It’s like I’m looking in a mirror. We just stand there, not being able to speak, an awkward silence hanging in between us. He hasn’t looked me in the eye for weeks, and now I’m not able to look away. I open my mouth, but the words are stuck. ‘I’m sorry,’ I want to say. ‘I miss you. I hurt you and that was wrong. Please let me explain myself. Because… I think… I love you.’ Why can’t I get these simple words out? I’m paralysed, but by what? Fear of rejection? Fear of him not loving me anymore? Fear… It keeps me from reaching out to him, it’s an invisible wall between us, separating us and keeping us apart. While all I want right now is to be with him. Just as I lift my foot to take another step forward, Soobin casts his eyes down, and turns his back to me, ready to walk away. I look down too, and a cold breeze not only blows through my coat but also through my heart. Is it too late already? “Soobin!” A girl’s voice calls out his name, a voice I don’t recognise. For a second, Soobin looks confused at me, as if he expected it was me who called him, but then a girl in Hufflepuff House colours shyly takes a step towards him, encouraged by her giggling group of friends behind her. I can she is holding a red rose behind her back, just out of Soobin’s sight, and an awful feeling strikes me as I realise what she is going to do. I turn my back to the scenery. _I can’t watch this._ But even though anxiety fills my heart, I can’t walk away either. I don’t want to know his answer, but I must know it at the same time. “Would you like to be my Valentine next week?” The words give me chills and unconsciously I clench my fists trying to control my emotions. I shouldn’t be here. I take a step, ready to run, when Soobin answers: “Thank you very much, but I would have to say no.” I breathe out forcefully, not even realising up until now I had been holding my breath. I am deaf to the other words they speak, just that one, small, one-syllable word repeats in a loop in my head. ‘No’. He could have said ‘yes’ for so many reasons. To get back at me for hurting his feelings. To try to forget about me and move on in life. To teach me a lesson about what it feels like to see the one you love with someone else. He knows I can hear him, he can see me standing right here. And still he said ‘no’. I never thought that word could sound so beautiful. When I come to my senses, I turn around and see the girl walking away with hanging shoulders, her friends giving her comforting pats on the back. Even though Soobin is nowhere to be seen, I feel the slightest spark of hope in my chest. Maybe I still have a chance. 

“Noona, can you at least pretend to be having fun? We’re on a date after all.” “I’m sorry Beomgyu, I’ll give it a try.” I sarcastically put a fake smile on my face, and Beomgyu bursts out in laughter. “Charming, noona. I’m in love already.” I chuckle as I take a sip of my hot chocolate, feeling blessed by having Beomgyu as a friend, always trying to make me feel better. We’re sitting in a booth at the tearoom in Hogsmeade, together with Taehyun and Hueningkai, on Valentine’s day, surrounded by love birds and cutesy couples (including our dongsaengs). Beomgyu asked me to go with him, just as friends, as he thought it would cheer me up a little and make me feel less lonely today. It was so sweet of him, which is the reason I agreed, but the longer I sit here, the more I regret it. It feels like everyone is happy but me, and it’s making me sadder than ever. “아이고, noona, is it still that bad?” Taehyun managed to tear his eyes away from Hueningkai and looks at me pitiful. I am really starting to hate it when they look at me like that. “I’m fine,” I say, partly because I don’t want them to worry, partly because I wish it was true. I wish I would be fine again, that I wouldn’t feel like crying every night, that I could enjoy hanging out with my friends. I wish things would be fine again between me and Yeonjun, that he wouldn’t avoid me in the Slytherin common room, that I wouldn’t have to doubt if should attend Quidditch practice, which starts again next week. And I wish Soobin and I would be fine, that he would be my safe haven again, that he would warm my heart again with his dimply smile… Time passed more quickly than I thought it would, and Beomgyu and I leave the tearoom after finishing our drinks and cake, leaving Taehyun and Hueningkai behind; even though I feel miserable, I’m happy they are happy and have found each other. Beomgyu locks his arm with mine and cheerily chats while we walk back to the castle. The weather is starting to become a little better, the sun shyly shows its face every now and then, and some brave little crocus flowers are in bloom already. “Spring is slowly setting in,” I ponder in a rare moment that Beomgyu is silent, who nods and enthusiastically says: “Just in time for our Quidditch practice! I wasn’t looking forward to be flying around in freezing weather like from the past few weeks.” I nod, but don’t know what to answer to that. I don’t even know if I’ll be attending practice next week. “Your team starts again next week too, right?” Beomgyu asks. “Yes… we do. But… I don’t know… I’m not sure if I’ll be there.” “What do you mean? Don’t tell me you want to quit Quidditch?!” “No, it’s not that I don't _want_ to.” I sigh deeply and bite my lip. “I’m not sure Yeonjun still wants me in the team.” Beomgyu scoffs and his brows furrow. “If he’ll be this petty, he isn’t worthy to be captain. What’s best for the team should be the most important right? And he knows damn well he needs you in the team to win. If he takes your former seeker back, they’ll send him to the Hospital Wing to check if he doesn’t have rocks in his head.” I giggle, and also feel kind of flattered by Beomgyu’s words, so I smile at him and thank him. When I turn my eyes on the road again, my smile immediately slides off my face. “Yeonjun-hyung?” Beomgyu looks at him surprised, and then glances at me worriedly. “I can’t believe it,” Yeonjun scoffs. Beomgyu and I exchange a look, confused about what Yeonjun means, but we don’t need to ask for an explanation, as he continues on his own: “I can’t believe my eyes. So this is how it works? When you can’t have me or Soobin, you just move on to the next?!” For a second I’m dumbfounded by his words. And then I get mad. He ignored me for weeks and didn’t want to listen to me, and now he goes on assuming something as ridiculous as that? My heart aches as sadness rushes over me. Is that what he thinks of me now? That I’m some flirt, going from one boy to the other like a bee flying from one flower to the next? “Hyung, that is bullshit and you know it.” Yeonjun and I share the same astonished expression. Beomgyu rarely curses. This is new. “Stop hiding from noona and hear her out. She has been crying her eyes out about you and Soobin the past few weeks,” “Ya,” I interrupt him softly, but he continues anyway, “and I’ve never seen anyone so unhappy in my life. You are not giving her the chance to explain, you are just feeling sorry for yourself, and to be honest, it’s kind of sad to see.” Yeonjun looks annoyed by Beomgyu talking so rudely to him, but he seems to be feeling a little guilty too. “So would you _please_ give her a chance to tell her side of the story? I’m getting kind of tired of this whole situation and I’m not the only one.” My cheeks get flushed when I realised how bothersome I actually have been to my dongsaengs lately. I didn’t only hurt Yeonjun and Soobin, but my other friends, in some way, as well… Yeonjun looks hesitant, so I take a step towards him and plead: “Please, Yeonjun. Let me explain. I hate us like this.” He exhales sharply, and mumbles with a pout: “Fine. I’ll listen to you until we reach the castle.” He turns around and starts walking. I give Beomgyu a quick hug, whispering: “Thank you, Beomie.” “Good luck!” he says, and then I turn around and run after Yeonjun. Time to make things right. Part one.


	17. The night the world burned down, we… / 세계가 불타버린 밤, 우린…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " “I didn’t ask him, don’t worry,” Taehyun whispers softly as he gives me a pitiful pat on the shoulder, seriously making me question if he can read minds. I feel relieved and sad at the same time; I’m afraid to face him, knowing how he would react, but it could have meant another opportunity, I might have had a chance to explain... “I kind of wished you did,” I sigh, “but I know he wouldn’t want to come if he knew I was coming too.” “You don’t know that,” Taehyun says in a poor attempt to cheer me up. I smile at him faintly. “But I do.” "
> 
> \- Did you manage to make things right with Yeonjun?  
> \- Taehyun invites you all to an exciting event...  
> \- ... where an unexpected guest finds you at the wrong moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello, I'm back again! ~(^.^)~  
> Did you miss me? Heh heh  
> Chapter seventeen, whoa, it's almost starting to become a book by now akdjklsfghf  
> Though I must say, and I hope I am not making you sad when doing so, the story is slowly coming to an end. *sad eyes*
> 
> Buuuut we're not there yet!  
> So please enjoy this chapter! >3<  
> And see you again next time! <3
> 
> Translations: 
> 
> 하지마 - Stop it
> 
> ~

I’m a tiny bit out of breath when I have caught up with Yeonjun, who keeps on marching forward with his long legs, as if he wants this conversation to be over quickly. I guess I will have to talk just as fast then. I take a deep breath, suppressing my nerves, and start off: “First of all, I am truly sorry that I hurt your feelings, Yeonjun. It was never my intention, I was not thinking straight when I said those words, and I deeply regret that they ever left my mouth.” Nothing. Silence. Not even the slightest change in his grumpy face. But I don’t let it discourage me. I have to make up for my mistakes. My stupid and dumb mistakes. “I was going to tell you… about how I really felt. I know I should have told you a lot earlier -” “A _lot_ earlier,” he mumbles. Well, at least he is reacting to me now. “Yes, that is very true. But to be honest, I wasn’t even sure about my feelings for Soobin after… after I spent Christmas with him and his family.” Yeonjun stops walking, staring at the ground, furrowed brows. I wait expectantly, a little more nervous, and then he looks up to me as he says, sounding confused, and a little annoyed: “But we kissed _after_ that. Why did you let that happen if you… didn’t feel the same?” I force myself to keep looking at him, even though his eyes are full of hurt. I caused his pain, so I have to feel the pain too. It actually physically hurts me to see him like this. I realise I never fully understood how much he means to me, how much his friendship has become a constant I relied on so heavily. “To be honest… I think I was a little in shock,” I confess. He scoffs, but I see the slightest hint of a smile as one corner of his mouth lifts a tiny, tiny bit. “Shocked? You didn’t see it coming?” “No, not really… I guess I am really _that_ oblivious.” He crosses his arms and shakes his head in disbelief, but his face softens. “Unbelievable. You should get your eyes checked, you might be blind.” I know he is insulting me, but I can’t help but smile. He starts walking again, and I continue my story: “So, at that moment, I guess I was paralysed, I didn’t know what to do. And afterwards, I wanted to talk to you, but I never got the chance.” “There must have been plenty of opportunities to tell me,” Yeonjun says, sounding bitter. “Only if I wanted to embarrass you in public!” He raises an eyebrow, obviously not impressed. “Yeonjun, come on! Try to remember, there wasn’t a moment that we were alone! And I cared about you too much to break your heart in front of others. I still care,” I say softly. “That’s why I tried to get you alone that day…” Tears are welling up in my eyes again as I revisit that awful moment in my head. “The others were supposed to keep Soobin away, but –” “Hold on, are you telling me they all knew?!” Yeonjun looks at me, a different kind of hurt in his eyes now, looking an awful lot like betrayal. I fear that I’m losing him again, while he was just opening up to me a little. “Yes, well, they kind of guessed. I mean, Taehyun never misses anything,” I say, and he unconsciously nods his head as if he has experienced that himself too. “And believe me when I say they scolded me terribly for letting things get out of hand that badly. They really scolded me _a lot_. But they also cared about your feelings and wanted you to find out in the least hurtful way as possible, so that’s why they helped me out. It just… did not go as planned.” “That’s quite an understatement.” We have almost arrived at the castle, but Yeonjun is walking more slowly now; I don’t know if that’s intended or not. I carefully reach out to take his hand. Yeonjun tries to pull it back, but I keep holding on more forcefully, and then, without much effort, he gives in and lets me hold him. Did I manage to get through to him? “Yeonjun, again, I am so sorry. There is really no excuse for this. I… I guess I was just being a pathetic coward, too afraid that our friendship would be lost if I opened up to you. But I lost it anyway.” I bite my lip as I realise how true my words really are. I really am pathetic. “And I suffered for it. As Beomgyu said, I have been feeling awful lately. Don’t get me wrong, I deserved it. But _you_ don’t deserve to feel that way.” I look him in the eye, and see my own sadness reflected in his. “Is there even the slightest chance that you can forgive me? If I can do anything to make up to you, please let me know.” I let go of his hand and take a step back. “I understand if you can’t forgive me right now. I understand if you need more time. But… I just want us to be friends again. It’s selfish, I know, but I really do miss our friendship.” I let out a deep sigh, and start walking. I finally said what I should have said way, way sooner. After a few steps, he calls me, and I turn around so quickly I almost lose my balance. “I expect you on the Quidditch field next Tuesday,” he says, and he walks up to me. “No excuses.” “I’ll be there,” I tell him. “I’ll always be there for you, Yeonjun.” He smirks a little bit, and then we continue walking onto the castle ground together. “You better be.”

I feel so much better that following week as my relation with Yeonjun is slowly recovering, slowly healing, step by step. When I bumped into him in the common room the next day, he smiled at me and asked me how my day was. When I arrived at the Quidditch field late on Tuesday evening because of Potions class, he joked that I should focus more on Quidditch and less on trying to blow up my cauldron. When Hueningkai and I saw him on our way to the library that Wednesday, he decided to join our study session with Beomgyu and Taehyun for a little while, resulting in zero actual studying because they had to catch up on so much. I felt a little ashamed when I noticed that not only _my_ friendship with Yeonjun was broken, but also his friendship with the others, all because of my doing… We had another fun Quidditch practice on Thursday, and because he asked me to join him and the rest of the Quidditch team for dinner when I passed them at the Slytherin table on this chilly Friday evening, I slowly start to believe he might have forgiven me for what I have done, and things are returning to normal. If only I could say the same for Soobin, I think sadly as I aimlessly poke around in my food, losing my appetite. When we get up after dinner, Taehyun waves at Yeonjun and me to come over, and I notice Hueningkai is making his way to him as well. Beomgyu is already sitting next to him, his hair coloured sapphire-blue, probably in an attempt to blend in at the Ravenclaw table, which could have been successful if not for his Gryffindor attire. “What’s up Taehyunnie?” Yeonjun asks after we arrive, playfully ruffling through Taehyun’s hair. “하지마!” he mumbles annoyed, peering at his hyung like he is thinking of the best way to curse him. “You wanted to invite us to something…?” Beomgyu reminds Taehyun, seeming in a hurry; knowing Beomgyu he probably has a few piles of overdue assignments waiting for him on his desk. “Oh no, not that again…” Hueningkai sighs, as if he has had this conversation with Taehyun before. “Don’t act like that Hyuka, it will be lots of fun! And you better be coming or I’m breaking up with you,” Taehyun threatens. “As if,” Hueningkai mumbles, but Taehyun ignores him and continues, his eyes sparkling with enthusiasm: “I wanted to invite you all to the duel tournament of my Duel Club this Sunday! It’s open for non-members to join and I would really love it if you would attend.” “Only because no-one else is attending,” Hueningkai mumbles again, but he shuts his mouth after Taehyun fires a deadly stare in his direction. “I’d love to come, Taehyun!” I quickly say, partly to prevent the situation from escalating any further, but partly because I also do really find it interesting and want to support Taehyun. He always cheers for me at my Quidditch games, so I feel this is the least I can do. Yeonjun and Beomgyu agree to come as well, and Hueningkai reluctantly mumbles that he will try to be there too, though I fear Taehyun will not forget his remarks that easily. As we walk out of the Great Hall together, I spot Soobin just going around the corner on his way to the Hufflepuff common room, and I feel a sting in my heart as a painful thought crosses my mind. What if Taehyun invited him to come to the tournament too? “I didn’t ask Soobin, don’t worry,” Taehyun whispers softly as he gives me a pitiful pat on the shoulder, seriously making me question if he can read minds. I feel relieved and sad at the same time; I’m afraid to face Soobin, knowing how he would react, but it could have meant another opportunity, in such a different environment I might have had a chance to explain, try to make him understand how everything got so messed up. “I kind of wished you did,” I sigh, “but I know he wouldn’t want to come if he knew I was coming too.” “You don’t know that,” Taehyun says in a poor attempt to cheer me up. I smile at him faintly. “But I do.”

Hueningkai was wrong when he said no-one would be coming, I think as we try to squeeze ourselves through a crowded classroom on Sunday, feeling impressed by the amount of people present since this is one of the larger classrooms of the castle. All furniture has been moved away and only a large, oblong stage of about a meter high is planted in the middle of the room. Candles that float around near the ceiling are the only source of light, and the walls are decorated with sparkly stars, creating a mysterious atmosphere, and the audience is buzzing with anticipation. “Guess you were wrong, Hyuka,” Beomgyu says playfully as we make our way through the crowd towards Taehyun, who is standing near one end of the podium, talking to his fellow Duel club members. Hueningkai just mumbles something inaudibly, looking sour, but his face immediately brightens when Taehyun greets us with a warm smile. “I’m so happy you could make it!” Taehyun says enthusiastically, his eyes flaming with excitement. “What a great turnout!” I compliment him, and he looks very content when he teases Hueningkai: “Did you hear that Hyuka?” “Yeah, yeah,” Hueningkai mumbles again, but nonetheless takes Taehyun’s hand when he reaches for him. The display of affection painfully reminds me of what I am missing right now, and I look away before I get sad. I’m here to enjoy myself, not to get unreasonably upset by them holding hands. Yeonjun still noticed though, and he asks me if I’m okay. But before I can answer, the tournament starts, so I just quickly nod before we turn our attention to the Slytherin on the stage who acts as the master of ceremony. Then the duels starts and I must say, it is absolutely amazing. The students are matched based on their year (though only from the fourth year up one is allowed to join), but that doesn’t necessarily mean the seventh-years have the best duels. Spells are fired rapidly, the first barely being deflected before another follows, and the audience has to take a step back every now and then as sparks and flames and jinxes fly around the room. It’s Taehyun’s turn just before the break, and he walks up the stage confidently, encouraged by our cheers. He is up against a Gryffindor, who looks a little nervous, and I wonder if Taehyun has a reputation within the Duel Club for being a tough opponent. They first bow, then take aim, and just a split second after the go sign is given, Taehyun fires a spell. The Gryffindor barely manages to deflect it, but somehow succeeds in firing back, which Taehyun effortlessly dodges with the slightest sweep of his wand. He smirks mischievously as the amused crowd obviously appreciates his self-confidence, and it only takes him a few more minutes to floor his opponent with a powerful Stupefying Charm. He leaves the stage accompanied by a big applause, and we all compliment him on his great performance. “Thank you,” he says, beaming with pride, and he puts his head on Hueningkai’s shoulder when he pulls him in for a hug. Again I am unexpectedly struck with sadness, and I feel mad at myself. Why am I feeling so upset when I see Taehyun and Hueningkai together? Because it reminds me of what Soobin and I shared during Christmas? I’m starting to feel as if the walls are closing in on me, and I get a strong desire to leave the room. “I’m going outside to get some fresh air,” I say when the break is announced, only half-lying because it is indeed getting quite warm in the stuffed room. “Let me join you,” Yeonjun says, and I can see by the look in his eyes that he knows I’m not only going outside to breathe a little more comfortably. By the time we made it to the door, the tournament already starts again, but the desire to leave the room for a second is stronger than the lurking excitement of the duels. “You okay there?” Yeonjun asks again as we stand in the hallway and I breathe in and out a couple of times to calm myself. “Yes, it was just getting a little too crowded for me inside,” I tell him without looking him in the eyes. “And…?” I stare at my feet. “And… I felt a little upset when I saw Taehyun and Hueningkai looking so happy together. Which is absolutely unreasonable and unfair to them.” I sigh deeply and bite my lip. “I am a horrible friend.” “Maybe a little,” he teases me, “but I’m sure they would understand, given your situation, so please don’t worry about it.” His words which were meant to comfort me are making me feel even worse. A week ago he was still mad at me, and he had every right to feel that way, but now he is already trying to cheer me up again? Man, I don’t deserve him. I really don’t. “Stop being so kind,” I say with a pout. “We barely made up and you are acting so nice to me already… Seriously, I am not worthy of it after what I’ve done to you.” He is silent after my words for a little while, and then, to my surprise, he takes my hand. “I’m saying this to you as a friend, because, I must admit, whatever I felt for you before has kind of lost it’s magic after what happened.” He smiles faintly and then continues: “I thought about your words, your apology, a lot, and I figured: either I could stay mad at you, get consumed by these negatives thoughts, and would feel bad for a long time. Or I could find the strength to forgive you, fill my heart with kindness instead, and enjoy our friendship again. It didn’t take me long to conclude that I would probably feel a lot happier if I chose the last option. And that’s what I did. So I would like to encourage you to do the same, to let go of the guilt or shame or whatever you are bothered with, and look at the bright side a little more. Then I am sure you won’t be so upset anymore the next time you see Taehyun and Hueningkai together.” I feel tears welling up in my eyes and before I know it I find myself hugging Yeonjun tight. “You are the best friend I could ever wish for,” I sniffle. “Thank you, Yeonjunnie.” “You’re welcome, baby,” he says, using his old nickname for me again, and I smile unconsciously. I am so extremely lucky to have befriended such an angelic, kind and forgiving human being. I smile at him when I let him go, and he smiles back before his eyes shift to something behind me. “Oh no,” he says and he curses softly. When I turn around I see Soobin standing a few meters away from us, frozen to the ground. Fear, anger, and panic all strike me at the same time as I curse destiny and wonder why this keeps happening to me. Soobin is ready to turn around and bolt, but Yeonjun is faster and mumbles “I don’t think so,” as he fires a spell, blocking Soobin’s way with a glass wall. Soobin lets out a groan of frustration, but his magic is no match to Yeonjun’s, showing how much a one-year difference in education can make out. “No running away anymore, Soobin. You. Two. Talk. Now,” Yeonjun grumbles as he puts me in front of Soobin, and after one last serious look in our direction he leaves us alone as he enters the classroom again. My heart is pounding as I stand in front of him. So close, yet so far. Okay, breathe in, breathe out. Now is your chance. _Speak._ I open my mouth, but Soobin beats me to it: “I came here for Taehyun’s tournament, not to see you cuddling up to Yeonjun.” Wait, he came for Taehyun? Did he know I was coming too, and if so, why did he still decide to show up anyway? He takes a step, trying to leave, but I stop him by grabbing his arm. Oh, how I wish to pull him into a hug and never let him go ever again. “It really was not what it looked like. We just made up, as friends, nothing more,” I say, my voice trembling. A deep fear is taking over, a fear that he will misunderstand. _Again_. A hint of anger flashes over his face, and his eyes look hurt when he says: “You say one thing, yet you do the other. Why do you keep doing this to me?” He tears his eyes away from mine, frowning, biting his lip. “Why does this still hurt me?” he mumbles. “I should know better by now.” “Soobin, please, let me explain. You never gave me a chance to speak myself.” “No,” he shakes his head, and also shakes off my hand, his rejection causing a sharp pain in my chest that takes my breath away. “I don’t want to hear your words, not yet, I’m not ready, I… I’m not sure I’ll ever be.” He looks confused, distracted even, like there is some inner struggle troubling him, his heart and his mind not agreeing with each other. “I need to think about myself, I can’t have this right now. I’m sorry.” “Soobin!” I try to take his arm again, but he is already walking towards the classroom, so I miss and my hand flings aimlessly through the air. When the door closes behind him with a bang, it hits me: I missed my chance. I can’t believe I let him go so easily. What is wrong with me? I should have stopped him like Yeonjun did, I should have yelled at him to listen to me, I should have held him tight and let him know how much he means to me… A cry of frustration slips my mouth and I start running away, tears clouding my eyesight. I need to get out of here, it would be too much of an embarrassment to let other people see me like this. _Again_. I only stop when I hit a dead end, and I just collapse on the spot, wrap my arms around my legs, rest my head against the cold wall and sob. The pain in my chest is not going away, making me worry my heart actually really did break. My head is starting to feel heavy, I feel absolutely exhausted, as if weeks of built up stress is finally released. It completely overwhelms me, I feel myself slipping away. I might as well disappear anyway.

Then I suddenly wake up by the smell of smoke, and an intense heat is burning my skin. My eyes fly open, adrenaline rushes through my veins. _Fire._ In front of me, nothing but flames. Behind me, nothing but stone walls. Panic rushes over me as I realise: I am trapped.


	18. Take my hand, once again / 내 손을 잡아줘, 다시

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "With a painful thud I smack against the roof of the tower, and I slither down a bit until my hands find grip. I feel like laughing and crying at the same time; I made it. I get up and peer over the edge to figure out where to go next. A sudden powerful wind blows and makes me lose my balance, causing me to hover dangerously close to the edge of the roof. Then an alarmed shout breaks the silent night. “Noona!” I turn my head and there he is, standing all the way below me. I can hardly believe it. Then I feel the roof underneath suddenly crack under my weight, making me slip." 
> 
> \- Will you survive your escape from the fire?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiii I'm back ~  
> With, * drum roll * : the final chapter!  
> I won't hold you up here, go hurry and read it!  
> I'll add more notes below >3<
> 
> ~

Even though I’m trying to stay rational and calm, panic quickly runs through every fibre of my body. What the hell happened? Who started this fire? My back is literally pressed against the wall and the smoke is making me cough. I need to get out of here right now, or _I’ll die_. But how? _You’re wand, idiot,_ a little voice whispers in my head. Are you a witch or not? I aim my wand at the flames and yell: “ _Aguamenti_!” Immediately, a spray of water blasts from the tip of my wand, and I aim it left and right. But it’s not working. Oh my god _._ A shiver runs down my spine as I realise that this is no ordinary fire. It’s Fiendfyre. I _am_ going to die here. If I thought I was panicking before, I am even more so now. The flames have almost reached me, and the heat is becoming unbearable. It can’t end like this. It won’t. If I can’t get out one way, then I have to get out the other. I turn around and aim my wand at the wall. “ _Bombarda_!” The castle wall is blasted away, a deafening sound tortures my ears, and the blast almost hurls me into the flames. Somehow I manage to keep standing, but my wand is thrown out of my hand, into the Fiendfyre. “No!” A feeling of helplessness rushes over me, as if someone just chopped off a limb, accompanied by a strange sorrow; losing my wand hurts more than I expected. But no time to be sad about that now. I look out of the gaping hole in the wall and estimate my chances. There is a ledge on the wall a short distance away, and if I hang from it, I can jump to the rooftop of a small tower nearby. It’s a huge risk though, but it’s not like I have any choice. I climb over the edge of the hole I just blasted, and lower myself from it, feet dangling in the air. Then I feel the ledge with my foot, and touch the outer wall to find support for my hands. _Focus_. You can’t make any mistakes now, I tell myself. Just focus. I put my full weight on the ledge, and miraculously, it holds. I breathe out to calm down, and slowly lower myself, so I can hang from the ledge I am now standing on and swing towards the rooftop. Above me, the flames have reached the hole and flare into the night sky. That could have been me. I suppress another shiver and further lower my body until I dangle by my hands again. I swing my body to the side to gain some momentum, once, twice, and then I let go, praying that I’ll make it. With a painful thud I smack against the roof of the tower, and I slither down a bit until my hands find grip. I feel like laughing and crying at the same time; I made it. I get up and peer over the edge to figure out where to go next. Though I’m far from safe, at least I’m away from the fire. A sudden powerful wind blows and makes me lose my balance, causing me to hover dangerously close to the edge of the roof. Then an alarmed shout breaks the silent night. “Noona!” I turn my head and there he is, standing all the way below me. I can hardly believe it. “Soobin?” I shout back. I want to say more, but the words don’t get the chance to leave my mouth as the roof underneath suddenly cracks under my weight. I feel myself slip. “Noona! No!” Soobin’s terrified cry is the last thing I hear as the construction can’t hold me any longer and breaks, making me fall down. Terrified, I close my eyes, only focussing on Soobin’s voice, the fear in it showing the one thing I needed to know: he still cares. Then I hit the cold ground and everything turns black.

I feel the grass tickling my face, but I can’t move my head, which hurts tremendously, just like some other parts of my body. A single drop of rain falls on my face, though it feels oddly warm, almost like a tear. A pair of arms tries to lift me up, inducing a sudden rush of pain so intense that I pass out again.

I only notice that I am lying on a soft, comfortable bed instead of the cold, grassy field when my shoulder is put back in its place with a powerful, yet extremely painful thump that makes my eyes fly open. My sight is so blurry that it makes me nauseous, the bright light worsening my headache, so I close my eyes again, groaning. “It’s okay, noona,” a voice hushes, sounding vague, like I’m underwater. Something cold is pressed against my lips. “Drink up, you’ll feel better,” the voice continues reassuringly, distracting me from the pain all over my body. I do as I am told, the aches start easing, my mind comes to rest, and I sink away.

I slip in and out of consciousness, living moments but forgetting them soon after, unsure if I’m dreaming or if things are really happening. Most of it is filled with pain, starting from my head, through my shoulder into my arm, and then all the way down to my leg and ankle. It takes me a few more blurs of consciousness to notice that it hurts just on one side, my right one. I don’t know why. I don’t even know where the pain comes from. Something must have happened, that’s clear. My dreams are filled with flames and the feeling of falling down, but every time I wake up in panic I’m comforted by a hand holding mine, another one stroking my hair, and a calming voice whispering in my ear, though I can’t really hear what it is saying. Whenever I try opening my eyes, my head protests by bursting out in pain and my stomach gets upset. I have no idea how much time has passed when I wake up and, for the first time in a while, can actually understand what is being said. There are multiple voices here now, and they speak to each other, sounding worried. “How is she doing, hyung?” the first voice I notice says. It’s a soft, mellow voice, pronouncing the words cutely somehow, reminding me of fluffy things like teddy bears. “Better, I guess,” the calming voice says. I immediately relax when I hear it, and wonder about its effect on me. It’s my safe haven, my solace. “Her dreams stopped when she recovered enough to reduce the sedative. But she still hasn’t woken up.” A short sigh. A soothing stroke through my hair. “Not fully, that is.” “Shouldn’t you get some sleep?” a sharp voice with an edge of authority asks. “You’ve been here all week.” All week? A week… since when? It feels like I’ve been lying here forever. I’m frustrated that I cannot remember what happened. Only the dreams of blazing fire and endless falling come to my mind. But those are just dreams. Right? “Yeah, you look terrible, hyung,” a sweet, endearing voice adds to the sharp, wise one. My mind somehow connects them to each other, as if they’re each one of a pair, but opposite. Like salt and sugar. “I’m fine,” the soothing voice, which I start calling Solace in my head, says firmly, and he squeezes my hand softly, as if he’s reassuring me that he’s not going anywhere. “So…” Bear (I’ll just give them all a name now) starts off hesitantly. “Have you… uhm, forgiven her, then?” Forgiven? I rack my brain, trying to think of what I did. The fire… perhaps I started it? But if I did, shouldn’t I be burned? I only feel numb pain as if I’m covered in bruises and broken bones. “I’m… I don’t know,” Solace sounds indecisive. “I… need to talk to her first, hear her out. But I feel a little torn though, since I can’t find the strength to leave her side, either.” A long pause. The others stay silent, expectantly. “Apparently I still care.” A voice snorts, and my hunch that is was Salt is confirmed when he mumbles: “Well, we all knew that already.” The hand holding mine lets go for a few seconds, accompanied by the sound as if someone is slapped, before it continues to soothe me. Sugar giggles and says, taunting: “You had that coming, Tyunnie.” I suddenly hear the sound of a door opening somewhere in the distance, and I can feel the people around me tense up, as if some electric static suddenly flows through the air. I try to open my eyes, curious about who just came in, but they’re ignoring my command, so I give up and try to focus on my hearing. It takes a lot of effort to keep my attention to the voices though, and I’m starting to get tired again. “Hello,” a colourful, charismatic voice, smooth like honey, quietly greets us. “Mind if I join?” An awkward silence hangs in the air, but then Solace agrees: “Not at all, hyung.” And like that, the static tension is gone, a wave of relaxation floods over the room instead, making me even more sleepy. I feel myself slipping away as Honey asks, almost exactly repeating the words of Bear: “How is she doing?” The same short sigh, the same careful stroke through my hair, and the same words: “Better, I guess.” Too tired to stay awake any longer, I sink away in a dreamless sleep.

The warmth of sunshine on my face is the first thing I notice when I finally fully come back to consciousness. The bright light hurts my eyes a little bit, so I lift my hand to shield myself from it while I whine: “Too… bright…” My voice is hoarse from not speaking for a while, but the raspy noises do attract the attention from someone who draws the curtains to leave out the sun. “Better?” I open my eyes and see Yeonjun and Hueningkai looking at me, concerned. I nod, then grab my head in pain. Nodding is not a good idea. “Yeah…” I mumble. “Of course you had to wake up just when I was about to leave. Great timing, noona,” Hueningkai jokes, but even though he’s smiling, the worry has not yet left his eyes. “Perfect, right?” I joke back, and they both giggle softly, sounding like music to my ears. I try to sit up straight, but struggle a bit because, apparently, my arm is in a cast. Hueningkai jumps up to help me and asks: “How are you feeling, noona?” “In pain,” I answer honestly, while I examine my cast. “Is there no spell to heal broken bones?” I ask. Yeonjun giggles softly. “There is, but it’s awfully similar to the one of making bones disappear, and with the head nurse on maternity leave, we thought we better not risk it.” Hueningkai is looking hesitant, half turned towards the door, but still supporting my arm. “I would love to stay, noona, but I have a class in fifteen minutes…” “Go,” I urge him, releasing my arm from his grip. “No need to let your education suffer because of me.” He seems to doubt that, but after a bit more encouragement from me, he waves us goodbye and rushes out of the Hospital Wing. I sigh and close my eyes; memories are starting to come back to me, but I’m having a hard time figuring out whether they are actual memories or just fragments from my dreams. “What happened?” I ask Yeonjun. “What do you remember?” he bounces back. “Fire,” I mumble. “And falling down.” “Well, that’s part of it.” Yeonjun leans back and crosses his arms. “Let’s see… You’re right about the fire. Some idiot at the Duel Tournament panicked and fired the wrong spell, unleashing a Fiendfyre. He’s suspended now, but that doesn’t change anything about the mess he made.” Fiendfyre… I remember waking up and being surrounded by flames I couldn’t put out. A shiver runs down my spine as I recall the absolute terror I felt at that moment. “I was surrounded by the flames,” I whisper. Yeonjun notices my mood change and takes my hand to calm me. It reminds me of the hand that soothed me the past few days, but it’s not the same one. I guess it wasn’t Yeonjun who sat by my side then. “Of course I couldn’t put them out, and once I realised that, I blasted the wall to escape and –” I gasp as I remember. My wand… “Are you okay?” I nod slowly, but can't shake the sad feeling. “I lost my wand to the flames.” Yeonjun eyes widen. “Oh, I’m so sorry…” I smile faintly. “Well, better my wand than my life.” “You can say that again.” I frown, trying to remember what happened next. “Then… I climbed out, away from the fire, towards a nearby rooftop. I’m not sure if I made it… Maybe that’s where I fell?” “I can fill in the details there. You made it to the rooftop, but then it collapsed, causing you to fall down.” I remember someone shouting, but something doesn’t add up. The person shouted ‘noona’, but Yeonjun doesn’t call me that since he is older than me. Who was there, then? “Where you there when I fell?” I ask him. “No, I wasn’t. Soobin was.” My heart skips a beat. Soobin? In a reflex, I reach for the necklace, and to my surprise it’s there. I stare at it, confused. I took it off after that traumatizing time when I managed to hurt the two people I care about most. I couldn’t wear it, couldn’t even look at it without bursting out in tears, so I put it away and haven’t worn it since. But now it’s here. Around my neck. How…? “He managed to break your fall a little bit, but you were still hurt quite badly. He carried you here and didn’t leave your side for over a week.” I look at Yeonjun incredulously, but he seems truthful. The person holding my hand, the soothing voice, my solace… I thought I dreamed it, but it was Soobin after all. My hearts starts beating fast and I feel butterflies in my stomach. He wouldn’t have done that if he hated me. Most people probably wouldn’t even have stayed by their _friends_ for a whole week straight. So that must mean... “Where is he now?” I ask, my voice overflowing with hope. I need to see him, I need to speak with him. Now. “He left this morning to go and get some sleep, so I guess he’s in the Hufflepuff chambers somew-” I get up out of bed without letting Yeonjun finish and stumble to the door. My ankle hurts and I almost trip and fall, but my will to find the love of my life is stronger than the pull of gravity. “Wait! You’re not recovered yet!” Yeonjun’s protests, but I ignore him and continue my struggle towards the door, which suddenly swings open with a loud bang. I hold my breath when I see the person who is, quite opposite to me, catching his breath, panting as if he just ran a marathon. An awkward silence hangs in the air when our eyes meet, making me forget all about my pain. “I heard you woke up,” Soobin says, breathless, flinging his hand awkwardly as he’s trying to explain himself. “I heard you stayed by my side,” I whisper equally breathless. His eyes soften. “I did.” And then I can’t hold it any longer and throw myself in his arms. He chuckles and hugs me tight, a little painful, but I don’t mind. At all. “I missed you,” I say, my voice sounding muffled because my face is pressed against his chest. “I missed you too,” he says, stroking my hair. I feel like I’m about to burst from happiness. Only the pain reminds me that I’m not dreaming. Then I remember I still have to make up to him, and I pull myself from his hug. Tears start welling up in my eyes, so I quickly stare at the ground. “I’m so terribly sorry… about everything,” I say, my voice quivering a little bit from the sudden rush of emotion. “I know you are.” I look up at him surprised, not expecting his answer. Soobin nods at Yeonjun. “He had the perfect opportunity to explain everything in detail when I was pinned at your side, aided by the others filling in the details.” “You’re welcome, baby!” Yeonjun shouts mockingly, but I can see him smiling wide. My heart is filled with hope again, I’m almost too afraid to ask, but I force the words out: “Do… do you forgive me, then?” He smiles cheekily, dimples popping out, and says as if he's still in doubt: “Well…” Then he pulls me in and kisses me softly, sweetly, making my knees weak from happiness. “Only because I love you.”

~ _Epilogue ~  
_

It’s unusually warm on this lovely day in June as I make my way across the grassy field to the lake. I just finished my last exam for this year and the joy one always feels when another academic year has successfully passed makes me want to skip and twirl around. But, of course, that feeling could also be caused by the person who is waiting for me at the lakeside. My pace increases and my heart longs for his presence; I wonder about the fact that it still does that, even though we have been together for quite a while now. I dodge a strayed Quaffle which is being thrown around by some of my Quidditch teammates, and I am almost run over by some overexcited first-years running around to celebrate the end of the exams, as I suddenly come to a halt when I notice there is more than one person waiting for me. I smile wide, and start walking towards them even faster. Cheerful greetings float my way on a summery breeze as I arrive at my destination. Taehyun is sitting next to Hueningkai, holdings hands as they casually wave at me, reluctant to let go. Beomgyu jumps up and hugs me so tight I feel my insides cracking. “Careful, Beomie,” I warn him, but he just laughs cutely and pats my head. “You already broke once this year, I won’t let you break twice, don’t worry,” he jokes and he dodges my attempt to slap him by hiding behind a confused Hueningkai. I sit down next to Soobin, who puts his arm around me, and then I notice the delicious-looking chocolate cake in the middle of the picknick blanket, already neatly cut into same-sized pieces. “Oooh, I didn’t know there would be cake!” I bend over to steal a piece of chocolate decoration, when a familiar voice remarks cheekily: “Trying to eat everything before I arrive, huh baby? How rude.” I turn around and see a smirking Yeonjun approach our group, carrying plates and forks looking suspiciously similar to the ones from the kitchen; I wonder if he stole them or asked for them nicely. He sits down in a rush and carefully looks over his shoulder. “Now let’s start eating quickly before the House-elves find out I took these.” I smile as his dongsaengs laugh, and then I start handing out pieces of the cake, while my friends converse about which exams were too easy and which they most likely failed. I lean back and rest my head against Soobin’s shoulder, looking at my smiling and cheerful friends with a joyful heart. He kisses my head softly, and I close my eyes to enjoy the brief moment of bliss. Soobin loves me. My friends are happy. All is well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow that was the final chapter!  
> I didn't think it would be when I started writing it, but it kinda turned out that way teehee.  
> It took me about 8 months to write it all, I can't believe it's that long ago already. Time sure flies.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading my story!  
> I hope you enjoyed it. ~(^.^)~  
> I know I enjoyed writing it very much <3  
> Bye for now! ^3^
> 
> Ps. If you want to read more of my works:  
> \- "Remember our star song" - an AU were everyone has forgotten about TXT except you and Beomgyu  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/23140135/chapters/55376617)
> 
> \- "A single starlight" - a BTXT fantasy/fairytale AU were Yeonjun takes you, Soobin and Hueningkai on a journey to find the one person who could save your father (Seokjin)  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/27668596/chapters/67707295)
> 
> \- "All of this is no coincidence" - a collection of BTS and TXT one shots in various alternate universes  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/29293353/chapters/71935893
> 
> (I'll come back from time to time to update this teehee)
> 
> PPs. For those who don't know what a Fiendfyre is: https://harrypotter.fandom.com/wiki/Fiendfyre


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